I thought it would be nice to see who hangs out here, and where we all are! Maybe, at times, we can be of assistance for each others?
I'm in Wellington, and I'm at home with my 2 1/2 yo DD.
Hey girls, nice to find you. I am finding as my daughter gets older that I need the support of other like minded mamas to keep me sane. I seem to be weirder and weirder compared to other parents around me and it a very strange experience to feel that the way I parent is normal but not to fit in or feel like I am from another planet when it comes to parenting choices. I am sure it is harder in other countries but I think in NZ no-one likes to stand out to much and most people just do what everyone else is doing and don't question it.
Here is a bit of my backstory.
Have wanted kids and a big family for ages. Got pregnant in 2007 with our first baby but lost it at 17weeks due to partial molar pregnancy. I had chosen not to have any scans and had chosen a very natural midwife. When I conceived again I was very nervous so had lots of scans, had a different and more medical midwife, ended up with a posterior position and my daughter getting stuck so had an emergency c section. I then got severe PND. I had always been AP minded and over the first year or my daughter's life that developed more and more. So I am still bfing, we cosleep and try to parent in a gentle and relationship based way.
I am hoping that when I have another child that I can have a natural birth so I am really interested in HBAC and am keen to really prepare myself before TTC again.
So I guess my identity and ideals are developing as I go.
What are your backstories?
Anything you are really into or passionate about?
Welcome Alwayshope! So sorry to hear about your loss and the PND.
Where in NZ are you?
Hmm backstory.. well my husband and I just moved here from Australia late last year. We came to NZ for our honeymoon and just loved it so much that we decided to move here. We struggled with trying to conceive for a long time before we fell pregnant.. 26 months of trying, and just about every natural therapy you can think of (naturopaths, chiros, acupuncture, kinesiology, bowen therapy etc) eventually I gave up my idea of falling pregnant naturally and we fell pregnant on our first round of clomid. So now, we are 31 weeks into the pregnancy and preparing for a home/water birth, which is what we had always planned to do, even before we started trying.
I know what you mean about feeling weird, it is a tough thing to deal with sometimes, but that is why forums like this one are particularly wonderful! I feel like that pretty much all the time, I'm a 30 year old dreadlocked, expat, vegan, homebirther so I should be used to feeling weird by now!! I've managed to join up with some other homebirthers in the area through my midwife which is a good start (I'm not great at meeting people - too shy!). I'm not really sure yet though how AP they are and whether or not our parenting philosophies will match up as well as our birthing philosophies, I guess only time will tell!
AislinCarys, is there a NZ AP forum now? I'd love the link!
The reply box is just not behaving so I have to write at the beginning again - the natural parent website in NZ is www.thenaturalparent.co.nz It will eventually be a magazine in print but at the moment is just online and the community is great.
I live in Auckland. Great that you have found some other Mamas through your midwife. I would really recommend La Leche League. They have been awesome support to me and pregnant mamas are definitely welcome. The AP website is www.
Yep, the reply function certainly isn't working right! I found mothering.com just before I got pregnant, and I knew I wanted to do all these things (that I'd really found in mothering magazine in the year before - homebirthing, homeschooling, waterbirth, AP, extended breastfeeding, natural living etc). I worked as a nanny, so I knew lots of families but they were all quite mainstream. I found a homebirth midwife, and went to her coffee mornings, and went to Birthwise antenatal classes (Birthwise is good, my group unfortunately turned very mainstream right after the babies were born). Through these groups I met some nice people. One of them told me about EC, and invited me to the Potty Group, and that was great, where I really found friends, and support! We didn't end up with a homebirth in the end, but I'm fine with how it went. DD was induced a week early due to reduced fetal water. then everything was wonderful. although DD breastfed the whole time, except for 7 hours at night. Until DD lost weight at 4 1/2 weeks and we started a 6 month long battle against low supply and low weight gain, and for exclusive breastfeeding, supplementing donated milk in SNS, taking fenugreek and Domp., later on. We go there in the end. And we've done EC and BLW, and DD was in arms all the time until she started crawling. And we still breastfeed, and cosleep at night. She hated the wrap sling, and we couldn't afford trying anything else, then a friend lent me her Ergo at 8 months, and DD, who hardly ever slept, went straight to sleep! We used the Ergo for 6 months or so, then i made a mei tai, and we love it. Now there's a babywearing group in wellington, so we're involved there, and we've still got the Potty Babies, and meet people from the Natural Parent Forum, and we also go to the Steiner Playgroup, which is lovely. My advice is to actively try to make up a network of likeminded mamas, it does take some time and effort, but is well worth it. Check out the homebirthers, homeschoolers, any AP groups, see if there is someone in your are a on TNP forum, that you could meet up with. Steiner groups are also likely to have a lot of AP-minded people. Otherwise you could try starting up a group. Advertise AP or Babywearing or EC, put up some posters, and see what comes of it?
Hi there Ladies, I was rather pleased to find the Nz tribe here on mothering. So wonderful to have a place for like minded parents to share and feel at ease about the awesome decisions we make for our families.
I am Dani wife & sahm mumma to 2 beautiful boys Water birthed David who just turned 3 and Lucas 4.5 months my home birthed boy and we live in Auckland.
I have recently been feeling a bit out of place as the way we parent doesnt seem socially accepted, everytime i receive my mothering I am elated at how good it feels to know there are other's out there who "get it"
I hope to get to know you all a bit more soon :)
It sure is, i only wish i had had the confidence to do it first time around, although logistically it just didn't work for us. I will always treasure Davids birth as it was absolutely perfect including it's location as at the time it was what worked for us. Lucas' birth was incredible and looking back it was so amazing it almost seems surreal ~ completely blissful!
Charlotte's birth is what lead me to who I am today. So not ideal (traumatic in fact) and far from a necessary c-section, but I doubt I'd be as awesome as I am now (and modest!).
I still love to relive Ben's birth every day. We had a SCBU stay afterwards which was pretty rough, but the birth itself was amazing. Im so glad to have experienced it, and would love to birth again and again but probably no more babies for us.
DH and I were watching that show "The Middle" last night, and we always joke how they remind us of ourselves and its like watching our future selves on TV, and I said "yeah and they even have the oops third baby!" and he looked at me in stunned silence. I think he was freaking out that I was pregnant now! lol
I am really hoping that I can have a homebirth with the next one. Having had a previous c section means my choices are so reduced and hospital just seems like it would lead to interventions I don't want. I tihnk I am gradually convincing DH and am trying to get myself ready to be pregnant again.
Hi, I'm in NZ as well
In the Waikato to be more precise.
DH & I have 5 children, ages 16, 14, 11, 9 and 4.
Our children have never been to school. I'm passionate about babywearing (among other things!) and still sad my youngest is coming up 5 and too big to wear, most of the time...
I had homebirths with the youngest 3 and was born at home myself, in 1968 in Holland.
I wasn't very AP when my oldest was born
But I've learned so much over the last 16+ years! My poor oldest DS was such a guinea pig in that sense...
But I can't turn back the clock.