Originally Posted by eepster
I think you missing a big part of what we are saying. You are asking for a simple number of friends that is typical. The reality is that there will be a wide range of normal in this aspect. It will depend on availability of potential friends (not simply the number of children around, but ones who share interests,) how the child defines "friend," social group dynamics, whether the child is shy, and so forth. So when you consider all these factors, the not having friends is not in and of itself hugely atypical.
The inability to recognize his teacher; the not calling his grandparents by grandparent names, but instead referring to them by their relation; not knowing any classmates at all; these things suggest something more is going on.
The grandparent thing is the only one I've found particularly odd. SIL & BIL have 3 sons, and for a long time he referred to them all as a combination of all 3 names, as if to remember their individual names was just too much trouble. He no longer does that, but it's one of the things I noticed.
To be fair to DS, he's only been in school for 8 days. His comment about his teacher wearing different clothes was after 2 days. It's not his classmates this year that concern me, it's that he doesn't care
to know the names of children he sees for soccer, school, etc. I think people's responses are based on the idea that he *cannot* learn the names, but that's not the case. He doesn't *want* to learn them, and I'm wondering if there's a point at which that becomes problematic.
What I do think may be indicative of some of the issue is your comment about shared interests. I've only ever seen him connect with 1 child, and it was at a science museum. This child was 8 or 9, and in talking to him, he clearly was a brilliant kid with an affinity for math & science. He & DS had a great time together, but that was a one-time experience. We don't live in that city, so it's not like it was possible to meet up with this family later. DS still mentions "that boy at the science center," and it was about a year ago.
I do not believe - and I know this is an unpopular thing to say - that DS has met other children who are as cerebral as he is. He is advanced academically. While we probably will get testing done soon, I don't think that it will matter as far as where he is in class right now. So maybe he's doomed not to have others who share his interests unless we can find a place in which other children are more like him. Maybe that's my fear for him because we're just not in a place where that's particularly feasible.