post #21 of 27
10/29/10 at 2:34pm
|Seriously, it sounds like the level of aggression that is being directed at her right now is best ignored or dismissed with as flat an affect as possible. If she is already secure enough in her own values and personhood that she does not take what these kids are saying to heart, she can just say, "Yeah, you're right. Maybe I am going to Hell. I'd better make sure I pack my bikini." It's not like she will change their world views by arguing about their points of faith with them, and if she doesn't believe in hell, who cares if they think she's riding in the handbasket already? If she's a non-responsive target, they will likely get bored with the lack of reaction and move on. If they escalate and she feels threatened, I would absolutely want her to go to the administration and to you.|
She sounds a great deal like my oldest. He's always been very much his own person, with unconventional opinions and thoughts. To boot, not a burly guy, but slender, attractive (in what could be described as a "pretty" way), very in touch with his emotions, etc. There was never any real hard-core bullying, but some milder stuff. He was called gay (and variations thereof), emo, a cutter, etc. I think I've mentioned that he was pretty well pushed out of Scouts (except for one friend and his Father).
But my son, somehow, has always had a very strong sense of self and has never much cared for what others think of him. And I can honestly understand why some consider him odd. Not many young men would: walk around HS with a shirt proclaiming his willingness to give Free Hugs every Wednesday; walk out to the track for gym class, spinning around in circles, arms thrown wide, face to the sun; sit in class, silently weeping over the beauty of a particular turn of phrase (in English), the poignancy of a passage (in music), the perfection of a proof (Calc), etc.? My son did all of the above. And more. LOL He did have a pretty solid (and large!) group of people who loved him for who he was - mostly girls. And eventually, his peers grew to admire him for ignoring everyone else's drummer and marching to his own. Now that he's in college? He has found that he's not all that odd.
None of this may help you much. But it may help you - and your daughter - know that kids can and do cope with being the lone voice in the wilderness. Only to find their choir in time.