High Medical Needs & Behavior problems in toddler

[slave2myprincess]

I'm not sure if this is the right area to write about this but i am looking for advice from other parents who might have some insight or who deal with this particular situation.
I am a sahm of 2 children. My pre-schooler has type 1 diabetes that we struggle to manage. My pre-schooler's behavior can be extreme. It is very easy for her to have melt-downs and its very hard to calm her down. She can become very mean and agitated for the simplest issues. I try to be patient and give her simple explanations. I know some days when her sugar is up her behavior changes but there are times when her sugar is normal and we still have the same problems. As far as discipline is concerned there are several things i do...natural consequence, redirection, give her a reasonable time to calm down sort of like a time out, taking away toys, not allowing her to watch her favorite show, and at the last popping her bottom. I can tell you that popping her bottom doesn't work lol. My inlaws are old school and they just think that spanking will "set children straight". i tell them yes i was spanked growing up and my mother didn't have problems with me. But that doesn't work for every child and this is why is steer away from that. My husband has mentioned the possibility of talking with a behavioral specialist. I don't know what to do i find myself not wanting to interact with my daughter and i know it shouldn't be like that. i feel like her behavior is so unpredictable that i should keep things simple. Our relationship has changed and she is only 4 years old. Please any suggestions or advice is wanted. (Sorry for any grammar or spelling issues i'm writing this in a rush).

[anj_rn]

IME (11 years as a pedi nurse), kids with multiple medical problems often act out since they feel so out of control. I would talk to your diabetic educator or your endocrinologist and ask for a referral to a pedi therapist who has experience in dealing with type 1 diabetics. I would also look for a support group for both of you.

Other than that, I would try to give her attention focused on her being a little girl and not her diabetes, and try to help her feel more in control.

I do not believe in spanking, so I would probably say something snarky to the grandparents like...If you had to get poked with a needle 8 times a day you would have a short fuse too.

[vxclayborn]

We are SO there.

Our adopted daughter was a micro-preemie with significant chronic lung disease which has left her dependant on oxygen and a feed tube full-time.

It seems like now at 19 months she's so SICK of it all. We try to reassure her and keep as much normalcy. I don't have any advice but I really want you to know you are not alone.

She goes to a special clinic for multiple medical issues and we are going to ask next visit how we can accomodate and better understand how we can help her meet expectations.

[~cassie]

We are also in the middle of this and most days I am lost. My son is only 3 and his language is delayed but often he is very hard to control, he is downright mean many days unless the focus is on him. But again he is 3, has delays, and I just am not sure if this is the reason for the behavior of if there are other issues going on.