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feeling sad

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
One of my great friends is very much pregnant, and we were talking about circumcision today. She is very pro but the only reason she can come up with when I ask her "why" is...so girls won't be disgusted by him.

:i rked

So I sat there for an hour reading her article after article, and explaining it and at the end she said .."yeah but, people will make fun of him.."

It's so frustrating and I just wanted to VENT. When I talk about co-sleeping or really anything AP she says things like "I don't want to destroy my marriage having a baby in my bed, I can't have a one bedroom the baby needs space.." I just want to shake her. She's such an "alternative" person in so many other areas of her life, so what the heck!
post #2 of 13
You should tell her that lots of women prefer intact men. Like me! (and lots of women all over the world since RIC is pretty uncommon except here)
post #3 of 13
Thread Starter 
Thyra, I did tell her! I told her it was becoming more popular to not circumcise here in North America and one day he'd be the "odd one out" and she just kept saying "well I saw one once and FREAKED" and I was getting so ANGRY
post #4 of 13
.. and don't forget, there's no law that says adults cannot be circumcised if they so wish. So if it causes him social-sexual problems later, he can make the decision to eliminate his foreskin -- under anesthesia and without the added damage of having the foreskin torn away from the glans it is adhered to at birth.

--K
post #5 of 13
do you think you can jog her thinking by asking her how she would feel if she learned that her father wanted to have her labia trimmed because he thought it looked better and that other men would want that when she became sexually active? Take the situation and reverse the genders and parent. when I've shared this line of thinking, people have an instantaneous ICK reaction. Then I bring them back to reality by saying that is exactly what happens when a mother requests and consents to circumcision because she thinks intact is sexually yucky.
post #6 of 13
Honestly? I totally didn't have sex with one guy because he was circumcised. But I look back at that and think.... Man, what a stupid thing to have done.

I'm sorry your friend is making such a shallow decision.
post #7 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommariffic View Post
One of my great friends is very much pregnant, and we were talking about circumcision today. She is very pro but the only reason she can come up with when I ask her "why" is...so girls won't be disgusted by him.

:i rked

So I sat there for an hour reading her article after article, and explaining it and at the end she said .."yeah but, people will make fun of him.."
really, we (collective we for the american culture) are so exactly the SAME as the "primitive" cultures that practice FGM. are these not the exact same reasons that are given for FGM, and that people in america just roll their eyes at... and yet, can't see past it for MGM.

maybe you could try pointing that out to her.

it's crazy-making, i agree.
post #8 of 13
Why is she so worried about what everyone else thinks about her son's penis? That is a clear reflection of a poor self esteem. Does she really want to teach him that his value only matters according to "what everyone else thinks" about his penis? Reality is, she is forcing her own sexual preference upon her son.
post #9 of 13
Another thing to look at is that if a girl rejects a guy for being intact, SHE'S the one with the issue.
post #10 of 13
We didn't find out the gender of either babies, but we still had to be prepared on the circ issue....my husband wanted to and I didn't. I finally won him over by saying that this was IRREVERSIBLE and an action taken on a minor child without their consent. He finally agreed that ethically we couldn't and that if "he" wanted to later he could, as my cousin chose to do at age 18. Ended up we had two girls anyway.
post #11 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by bugmenot View Post
Another thing to look at is that if a girl rejects a guy for being intact, SHE'S the one with the issue.
Exactly! It's like what we would say to our daughter if she comes home crying when she's a teenager because her boyfriend dumped her because her breasts were too small (or for some other physical reason). He's the one with the issue, not her and she'd be better off without him anyway. We certainly wouldn't be calling immediately to get her an appointment for breast implants.

-Astrid
post #12 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer View Post
do you think you can jog her thinking by asking her how she would feel if she learned that her father wanted to have her labia trimmed because he thought it looked better and that other men would want that when she became sexually active? Take the situation and reverse the genders and parent. when I've shared this line of thinking, people have an instantaneous ICK reaction. Then I bring them back to reality by saying that is exactly what happens when a mother requests and consents to circumcision because she thinks intact is sexually yucky.
I've also used this argument before and it's definitely a show-stopper. There's something incredibly creepy and inappropriate about a father wanting to tailor his little baby girl's genitals to his sexual preference; it's no less horrifying when it's a mother wanting her son's penis to be of the shape that's most sexually appealing to her.

The thing about circumcision is when you refuse to use euphemisms or let people pretend that their reasons for doing it aren't absurd and brutal, it's totally indefensible. Not a single reason for doing it holds up to even the most casual scrutiny.

I'm sorry your friend feels entitled to decide for her son whether he'll have a fully functioning, intact penis or not, OP. It's awful to be so helpless in the face of such hideous sexual violence against little boys.
post #13 of 13
My gut hurts a little more every time a friend announces on facebook they are having a boy.
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