We have been saving but it won't be enough. We don't want them to go in-state, the university here is not so good. We are hoping they can pick up some (free) credits via the local community college during their high school years, that will transfer wherever they go. My cousin did this and started college as a second-semester sophomore.
I worked in Res Life for 8 years. I really firmly believe that college should be paid for by the student themselves. Obviously, they may not be able to pay entirely for it, but as much as possible is best, IME. I watched many, many students (at private, large public, and small public universities alike) whose parents were taking out second or third mortgages, working extra jobs, bending over backwards to provide an education to their kids - while their kids are partying and flunking out.
Not every student whose parents are paying for their education is going to be in that situation - and not everyone who's paying their own way will take it seriously - but completely anecdotally, it seemed that more of the students who were in trouble had parents who were paying their way, than otherwise.
DH's grandparents and parents paid most of his education; I took out loans for mine; dh didn't get in trouble, but I sure spent a lot of time talking with parents whose kids were in Big Trouble and were not taking their parents' sacrifices seriously at all. I remember talking with one mother who was in tears planning to come pull her student out of school, working two jobs and had just found out he'd flunked the previous semester (all Fs). I couldn't discuss his discipline file with her, but he was nearing the point where he was going to be kicked out of the halls for his behavior issues in the halls, too --- in the end she decided not to pull him. I encouraged her as much as I could without revealing his file (confidentiality) - but she left him in. I know for a fact he flunked the second semester too - and was involved in a discipline situation which got him kicked out of that state's entire university system. They were paying out of state tuition for him, too.
I felt so, so bad for his family!
They probably wasted about $20,000 on his education that year, and it was a total waste of money.
Ideally, what we will do, is help with expenses - but our kids will need to be working FT over the summer at least, and working while at school too (research shows that ten hours/week actually raises students' GPAs) .... take out their loans to cover college, and then when they graduate, pay down most if not all of those loans. That way, they'll have to work for their education while they're in school, but not be left with tremendous student loan debt when they're done. Plus, it would be good for their credit ratings.
My parents couldn't help at all. We are still paying down my student loans, and we've been paying sometimes double our monthly payments. If we didn't have my student loan debt, we would have so many more options (for family size, for where and how we live, etc.). I'd like my kids not to have that debt hanging over their heads like mine hangs over our heads.
What I'd really like is for something to be done to address the fact that the cost of a college education is going up several times faster than inflation and has been for literally a couple decades now.
