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my mom tried to kill herself yesterday

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
so thankful she wasn't successful, but feel so extremely sad and angry and guilty that she tried.

I don't have anyone irl that I feel comfortable sharing this with, so thanks for listening.

she's in a mental hospital right now and will be for at least a week I guess. she only gets one 10 minute phone call a week and she can't get any incoming calls. I really want to talk to her

she left a message on my phone the day before yesterday saying that she loved all of us. I can't believe that she intended for that to be the last time we heard her voice.

she's bipolar and absolutely refuses to take any medication anymore. she's tried every cocktail of meds you can think of with no success, so now she says she'd rather do electric shock therapy...which I guess they still do at the hospital she's at. Can you force someone to medicate their illness?

what could a doctor possibly say or do to help her get better? She's been in therapy my entire life. She's a doctor herself (retired).

I just had a baby this summer. My oldest son adores her. Why can't she see the positives in her life? Deppression is so hard and frustrating to understand.
post #2 of 20
post #3 of 20
I am so sorry! That sounds like a very tough situation.
post #4 of 20
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hope you get to talk to your mom, and maybe get some therapy time WITH her- to get your feelings addressed with her. I'm sorry you don't have any IRL friends that can be there for you, WE (mothering) are here for you You are in my thougts mama. Hang in there.
post #5 of 20
i lost my brother last spring to bi-polar disorder. suicide is a horrible horrible tragedy.
i am so glad for you that someone was able to get to your mother in time.
unfortunatly, you can't force anyone to take their meds.
can you go visit your mom? or is it too far?
i hope she starts to pull out of her crisis.

mental illness is such a difficult horrible illness.



i hope you both start to feel better.
post #6 of 20
I am so, so sorry. Please consider some counseling for yourself, and make sure you get enough sleep, eat well . . . be good to yourself.

post #7 of 20
post #8 of 20
Thread Starter 
thanks everyone

my mom is out of state and is only allowed visitors on Saturdays for 45 minutes. It looks like she may get out next week, so I'm going to try to go visit her for a few days then. I'll need to find someone to watch ds1 while dh is at work though. I don't want ds1 exposed to all this. I'll bring my little nursling with though.

do any of you have any knowledge/experience with electric shock therapy? I guess they call it electric convulsion therapy (ECT) now???
post #9 of 20
I am so sorry that you are going through this. My husband is bipolar and we have been very successful treating his illness with supplements. I was inspired by this man's story http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=721923 and we have successfully implemented many of his suggestions with the help of a naturopathic doctor. The psychiatrist was less than enthusiastic at first but now he refers to my dh as "his most successful patient ever." At this point, my dh has no symptoms whatsoever and can monitor the small changes in his brain chemistry and adjust his supplements himself. Please feel free to pm me if you need any additional information about how we treated him.
post #10 of 20
Sorry to hear this. My brother has bipolar, too. It's a really difficult disorder. I hope you are able to visit your mom soon and that she gets through this. to you and your family.
post #11 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliver'sMom View Post
thanks everyone

my mom is out of state and is only allowed visitors on Saturdays for 45 minutes. It looks like she may get out next week, so I'm going to try to go visit her for a few days then. I'll need to find someone to watch ds1 while dh is at work though. I don't want ds1 exposed to all this. I'll bring my little nursling with though.

do any of you have any knowledge/experience with electric shock therapy? I guess they call it electric convulsion therapy (ECT) now???

Hi,

So sorry to hear about what you're going through. I have some experience with psychiatry in-patient and people who have made suicide attempts, but I rarely interact with the family members who are affected, and I know they are often neglected in this very painful ordeal.

I just wanted to chime in about ECT. I know it sounds very archaic and barbaric, but it's actually very very common and mainstream practice for depressive diseases that do not respond appropriately to typical pharmaceutical interventions. So don't feel as though this is some kind of a backwards, spooky thing they are proposing for your mother. Back in the 1950's and 1960's it got a bad rep because people didn't know how to do it properly. These days, it is done under anesthesia, it is very well-controlled, and the only real side-effect is headache after the procedure. It can sometimes do wonders for people who, for whatever reason, did not do well with medications. If I were in your shoes, I would view it as a very positive option and also a good sign that your mother is motivated to pursue it herself.

Take care of yourself.
post #12 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by odoole View Post
Hi,

So sorry to hear about what you're going through. I have some experience with psychiatry in-patient and people who have made suicide attempts, but I rarely interact with the family members who are affected, and I know they are often neglected in this very painful ordeal.

I just wanted to chime in about ECT. I know it sounds very archaic and barbaric, but it's actually very very common and mainstream practice for depressive diseases that do not respond appropriately to typical pharmaceutical interventions. So don't feel as though this is some kind of a backwards, spooky thing they are proposing for your mother. Back in the 1950's and 1960's it got a bad rep because people didn't know how to do it properly. These days, it is done under anesthesia, it is very well-controlled, and the only real side-effect is headache after the procedure. It can sometimes do wonders for people who, for whatever reason, did not do well with medications. If I were in your shoes, I would view it as a very positive option and also a good sign that your mother is motivated to pursue it herself.

Take care of yourself.
thanks for this.

I've been researching ECT a bit. I knew nothing about it before besides reading "one flew over the cuckoos nest", which of course scared me when hearing they would do that to my mom. But after looking into it, I'm thinking it's a pretty good option for her.

Thanks Imagine for the link to natural treatments for bipolar disorder. I'll definately look into that and mention it to my mom when I see her. I don't know how it will be received, but it's worth a shot.
post #13 of 20
Sorry you are going through this.
I have never experienced ECT, but was a patient in a psychiatric ward for an extended period of time due to depression. I witnessed many other patients who were undergoing ECT.

For many it was helpful, for a time.. And then it would have to be repeated again. Many of the people I met doing ECT were doing it for the 2nd or 3rd time over a couple of years. I am sure there are also many people who did not need repeated treatments.

One thing it does do, that is scary for the patient but even scarier for the family members, is cause a substantial memory loss. Many people I met were having significant headaches and not knowing why because after a couple of treatments could not even remember that they were having treatments. They could not recognize their family members or remember much of anything. As the treatments come to an end the memory does seem to come back. But that is something you should keep in mind. A person undergoing ECT seems much like a person with late stage altsiemers. It would be easy to freak out as a family member and fear that the electricity has zapped and broken your loved ones brain.
They usually go through treatments every other day for a week or so. Then the memory starts to come back after the treatments end.

Hug to you, your Mum and your family.
post #14 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by colsxjack View Post
Sorry you are going through this.
I have never experienced ECT, but was a patient in a psychiatric ward for an extended period of time due to depression. I witnessed many other patients who were undergoing ECT.

For many it was helpful, for a time.. And then it would have to be repeated again. Many of the people I met doing ECT were doing it for the 2nd or 3rd time over a couple of years. I am sure there are also many people who did not need repeated treatments.

One thing it does do, that is scary for the patient but even scarier for the family members, is cause a substantial memory loss. Many people I met were having significant headaches and not knowing why because after a couple of treatments could not even remember that they were having treatments. They could not recognize their family members or remember much of anything. As the treatments come to an end the memory does seem to come back. But that is something you should keep in mind. A person undergoing ECT seems much like a person with late stage altsiemers. It would be easy to freak out as a family member and fear that the electricity has zapped and broken your loved ones brain.
They usually go through treatments every other day for a week or so. Then the memory starts to come back after the treatments end.

Hug to you, your Mum and your family.
thanks for the feedback!

I've read about the memory loss and the need of having to do the treatment for an indefinate amount of time. I guess the positive effects only last for a couple of months...the memory loss lasts for a week or so. It's pretty scary, yes, but it's better than the alternative.

Have you known anyone who has just used ECT alone to treat their depression? From what I've read, it's usually done along with a medication regimen. Since my mom refuses any type of medication, I wonder if the ECT will be as effective.
post #15 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by odoole View Post
Hi,

So sorry to hear about what you're going through. I have some experience with psychiatry in-patient and people who have made suicide attempts, but I rarely interact with the family members who are affected, and I know they are often neglected in this very painful ordeal.

I just wanted to chime in about ECT. I know it sounds very archaic and barbaric, but it's actually very very common and mainstream practice for depressive diseases that do not respond appropriately to typical pharmaceutical interventions. So don't feel as though this is some kind of a backwards, spooky thing they are proposing for your mother. Back in the 1950's and 1960's it got a bad rep because people didn't know how to do it properly. These days, it is done under anesthesia, it is very well-controlled, and the only real side-effect is headache after the procedure. It can sometimes do wonders for people who, for whatever reason, did not do well with medications. If I were in your shoes, I would view it as a very positive option and also a good sign that your mother is motivated to pursue it herself.

Take care of yourself.
I wanted to second the comment about ECT. No one really knows why it works, but it is HIGHLY successful for people who really need it. It does truly save lives, and has a higher success rate than medication.
post #16 of 20
post #17 of 20
I just wanted to offer support as another daughter of a bi-polar mom. My mom has never attempted suicide, and is quite happy to be on meds (thank the Lord!!) but has been hospitalized several times.

I am quite open about my relationship with my mom with my friends IRL, but I find unless they have experience with mental disorders in their families, they just don't get it. So please feel free to lean on those of us here at MDC.
post #18 of 20
I'm very sorry you and your family are going through this.

I wanted to chime in about ECT. My sister in law is mentally ill and has been on and off a million different medications in seeking mental health. She finally had ECT three years ago as she was in a lot of pain and felt she had tried everything else. This was after a suicide attempt as well.

For her, it had a good short term effect but no lasting effect on her mood. She did several rounds of treatment over the course of a year and ended up stopping because she always ended up back to her baseline. She regrets doing ECT due to her massive memory loss. Not only did she lose any memory around the time of the ECT, but she lost various other time periods as well. She has no memory of years of her life. Her ECT was performed at a very reputable Southern California hospital by world renowed experts.

I'm not implying that your mother would have these side effects but people need to be aware of the possibility.
post #19 of 20

im soo sorry! my mom is sooooo stressed and she just tried to jump over the balcony in my house greensad.gif she had her leg over when my older brother finally pulled her back. im soooo sorry this is happening to you. I know what it feels like. Feel better!!!! stillheart.gif

post #20 of 20

Oliver's mom,I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's attempt at suicide.  I'm so glad for you that she is alive. I hope you'll get to talk to her soon.  I hope they can find some treatment that will make her feel like life is worth living. 

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