have you waived child support? - Page 2

[Kino]

Thanks for all the replies! I have been working so not able to be online till today.

We share 50/50 physical custody. Even though I make less than min. wage this state automatically calculates based on min. wage. The Ex was making much more, and during a couple of years A LOT more, than min. wage so I was still awarded cs even with him paying insurance and all the rest. I know his field of work makes a good living. I have actually seen very little of this cs though. My former SIL has yet to see cs after 13 years

Cs is automatically recalculated every two years or every year upon request. He is getting it recalculated and with his current income it will probably be zero. I can understand that, but like I said I believe he purposely did this and will now try to keep his "on the books" income lower. I know he is able to pull some money under the table. As of now he has enough income to continue her schooling, health insurance and once-in-awhile health expenses. If I make the appointment, whatever it is, he usually does take her or meet me there and pay for it upfront. It is the times he can't make it and I have to pay out of pocket that takes a month or two to get him to reimburse.

AZ will not interfere with custody/visitation rights based on refusal to pay cs. They really push in this state for 50/50 physical custody and the Ex was adamant about 50/50.

The house is in forclosure. Not because he can't afford it because he "doesn't want it anymore."

I like the advice of viewing cs "as a bonus" and not actively engaging him about it.

I am going to tour our local charter schools and hear from potential teachers how they might handle DD's speech issues. Yes I'd rather switch schools than walk on eggshells over private school. Education is my decision.

As my current partner said, the Ex needs to "win" about something and is enjoying toying with DDs money.

Yes it is a lot of time not to mention money to take him to court over these things. Our divorce took over two years.

[~Nikki~]

My ex is intentionally underemployed, and works under the table. I did end up waiving child support because, at the time, we had a 50/50 custody arrangement and there was a very good possibility he was going to get child support from ME! I make more than him on paper, but in reality, he has the higher income. I didn't think it was fair, and he would have financially crippled me had he actually gotten awarded support. So I decided to opt out of it. As it turns out, I now have full custody, but he (generally) pays for half of the before-and-after care costs for the kids daycare, and (sometimes) pays half for their bigger costs like snowsuits and new shoes. Ahh who am I kidding, it really sucks and sometimes I think about going back and revising things to try for child support now that I'm footing 100% of the costs and responsibility. But in my case, I'm worried that'd start a war and he'd try and get 50/50 custody again, which wouldn't be great for the kids. I'd rather have the kids than his money, so for now I just do my best to make ends meet with minimal support.

[smeep]

Originally Posted by thyra

I highly doubt this would happen. A lawyer I know says that the courts biggest concern over kids with split parents is that they are provided for financially - b/c otherwise they are going to be dependent on govt. money and states don't want that.

It would likely just require proving a change in financial situation requiring help from the dad.

I was thinking that might be the case just because they have 50/50 custody and, from my understanding, it's pretty rare for her to get it in the first place with totally split custody. Kwim?

[deuxceleste]

I'd never waive. I didn't press for CS in the beginning, but people change. Now he's been evicted, lost his job (fired twice in 6 months) and is a general wreck. Doesn't want to see the kids, the whole nine yards.

You just never know what could happen.

[NolaRiordan]

I'm sure this is different in different states. I was told you can not waive it because it belongs to the kids, not you, as others have said. I do believe you can "reserve it" meaning you aren't asking for it at the moment but you want the right to do it in the future. But in your case I don't think I would do either of those things.

[VocalMinority]

Lots of states have an online "C/S calculator". See if AZ does and play around with the #s.

If he's capable of earning at a certain level, then he's capable of it. Generally, NCPs aren't entitled to reduce/stop C/S if they're temporarily (or voluntarily) unemployed or if they choose to take a job way below their qualifications, if they have other options.

Based on his average earnings when he IS employed (and your earnings; what he pays for health insurance; the "parenting time credit" [or whatever you call that, in AZ], and whatever other factors you're asked to plug in)... what should he be paying in support? Does what he pays for private school, out-of-pocket medical, etc. come close?

Yes, if you're entitled to support from him, it ought to be paid to you and YOU should get to decide how to allocate it, instead of HIM choosing what he wants the money to be spent on. But, if he's contributing what he should and it's a PITA to collect it from him properly, maybe just accepting what he's willing to do will reduce your stress. After all, the things you've mentioned - tuition, medical, etc. - are pretty basic and helpful. It's not like he's buying video game systems or $200 tennis shoes for your kid and saying that's how he paid C/S.

But if he's NOT contributing what he should, I wouldn't let it go just because he's a pain. It's not just about you. Your child is entitled to appropriate support from both parents.

My husband has waived support for his son from his 1st marriage, who lives with us. His ex lives across the country and he wanted her to be able to visit monthly, like he did, when she had custody. But, he's about to take her back to court and ask for C/S, because the amount of visiting she does (when you consider the cost of plane tickets, hotels, car rental, etc.) does not come close to what she's supposed to "pay" in child support, "through visiting". I know she will find this is highly unreasonable ("bullying", "unfair", "incomprehensible", etc.) and enumerate how she "supports" DSS with all the things she buys for him and does with him, when he visits her. But obviously, taking him on a cruise during her summer parenting time, or making sure DSS knows SHE'S the "cool" parent who will buy him the latest overpriced gadget from Apple, or a moped or 2 electric guitars...that is not the same as paying child support, nor is it an acceptable alternative to visiting him. It's just one more way for her to try to manipulate him into saying he wants to move back with her. But, I digress. Initially, this was a good reason for waiving support, but it hasn't worked well.