Worst.Single.Mom.EVER.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Yup. Thats me. I'm the worst mom ever.

My ds has been sick for 3 days. He was puking all day Wednesday, then had diarrhea all day yesterday, and then today, and puked AGAIN. I had HAD IT, I called my ex, and told him it was HIS turn! I feel so badly for sending my ds to his dad's house, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I HATE cleaning up puke, diarrhea, and all my dishes, and washing my hands every 5 minutes so I don't get sick. UGH.

I'm the worst single mom ever. I'm going to go to sleep now, and take advantage of my quiet house.

[mlec]

[Avani]

No way. Honey, you need a break. You can not take care of a sick little kid for days on end with no breaks. Don't feel guilty, get some rest. THen you will be refreshed and ready to have him again.

[lilyka]

Do not spend one minute being guilty. Get your house unpuked while you ds's dad parents him (hey its not just about having a blast every other weekend. its about parenting them in the bad times too. ) then after a couple of days pick up your sweet boy and let his dad unpuke his place. lather rinse repeat until junior is better. trading off every couple of days means neither of you will miss too much work, you can both sleep and clean as needed to keep up, stay well and help your son to the best of your abilities. What good will either of you be to your son if you guys are tired, sick and living in a house that smells of ickyness? Good for you and your ds dad for being willing to meat his needs in a cooperative way!!

I have a tendency to want to be the perfect mom and handle it all myself. Its pride. I won;t lie. I think it is awesome that you were able to let go a little and let his dad pitch in. This is good for their bond and also enables you to stay healthy and get a little break. No one should have to do this alone. Dads can and should help but they can only do that if we let them.

[Super~Single~Mama]

thanks!!! I'm feeling a little better this morning, but I am a little worried about my little guy. His dad said he would call during or after "breakfast" - which will only be like 1 or 2 saltines and some pedialyte. I hate it so much when ds is sick, it sucks more than anything.

I also just have TONS to do this weekend - MPRE class for the ethics exam that lawyers have to pass (who said lawyers are ethical anyway???? give me a break!) I also have tons of homework to do for school. It's a good thing my profs all know ds is sick or they would kill me next week. Ugh.

I hate puke, I hate diarrhea, I hate it when ds is a crankypants b/c he doesn't feel well. WHY do they all have to go together?????

[PoppyMama]

Puke is the one I can't take. By the time my kids were in preschool I had them trained to get to the toilet at all costs. I know it's awful but that's the first thing I ask when one of them tells me they pukes. 9 times out of ten it's, "in the toilet, mom" and I say, "good job! so proud of you!".

He's the one who makes you stay there with no family support so why in the world shouldn't he have to take his turn. This is one of the few perks of being stuck in geographic proximity to him. Relax. If he was negligent or abusive or something it would be different but it sounds like your x is just an a$$, not incapable of parenting.

[Super~Single~Mama]

It's so true PoppyMama. He loves his son, no doubt about it, and he's very good with him actually.

I would LOVE it if ds could get to the toilet to puke, but so far its been with NO warning whatsoever - its revolting. I HATE PUKE!!!!!!

He's coming home at 7pm today, and then his dad is going to take him for most of the daytime hours tomorrow. Thank goodness! And yeah, this IS one of the perks to being so close in proximity to him - I called him last night, and he was there in about 20minutes. It would have been faster too except I told him to wait cause ds needed a bath.

[*bejeweled*]

We all need a break sometimes. It's best that you sent him to another loving place rather than losing it. We aren't meant to do it all by ourselves.

[2xand2y]

Awww, poor little guy; I hope he feels better soon. You absolutely did the right thing. Taking care of a sick kid causes burn out fast and that makes it hard to provide optimal care. You deserved a break and he deserved to be cared for by a "fresh" parent. How fortunate for you both that your XH could be relied upon to do what was needed.

My kids are "bucket trained". If anyone says their tummy hurts they are immediately provided a large tupperware or other easily cleaned plastic container. My youngest is 4 and my oldest is 10. I can't remember the last time I cleaned up puke off of anything but skin and the bucket. They sleep with it by their heads when they are sick, watch TV with it in their laps, and bathe with it on the side of the tub.

(((hugs))) You're doing great!

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by 2xand2y

My kids are "bucket trained". If anyone says their tummy hurts they are immediately provided a large tupperware or other easily cleaned plastic container. My youngest is 4 and my oldest is 10. I can't remember the last time I cleaned up puke off of anything but skin and the bucket. They sleep with it by their heads when they are sick, watch TV with it in their laps, and bathe with it on the side of the tub.

(((hugs))) You're doing great!

OMG, just thinking about it makes me nauseated. GROSS. However, I will use the bucket idea in the future. He knows what throwing up is (when he talked to my parents he told them ALL about throwing up at dada's house. LOL!) so he might understand to throw up in the bucket. We'll see.

[PoppyMama]

"Bucket trained"...that is cracking me up. I guess I have mine "toilet trained". It didn't happen till almost three though. Before that it only worked if I could get them to the toilet fast enough.

[RollerCoasterMama]

Been there done that! It's good for you to get some time to recover and it's good for the dad to get to put in some effort during the not-so-fun times. I 100% fully believe that even though the guys are spooked at the thought of parenting a sick kiddo (and who are we kidding, the moms would avoid it too if given a choice!) it's good for them in the long run. Then they're PARENTING, not just hanging out and playing. It might not be fun, but most decent parents will come out of it feeling #1 accomplished and #2 more strongly bonded with the kiddo.

I'm guilty of taking the worst days for myself, but if DS needs a 2nd day home, I usually call XH and tell him it's his turn for a day off work!

RE: Bucket training. When DS was your son's age, he hated throwing up so much that the suggestion of keeping a container near him made him very upset because he knew that meant I thought he might throw up...I'd have to hover and quickly get the container in place asap. As he got a little older (about 3 like PP said) he got into it a bit better. Luckily, we haven't had many bouts of nasty stomach bugs!!!

Hope everyone feels better soon!!!

Oh, and the MPRE isn't too hard. Study, but don't freak.

[Halfasianmomma]

I second the Bucket Training suggestion...wish I'd known about this when my former DSS woke up in the middle of the night to puke from the height of his bunk bed....twice. ARG!

I'm sorry you had such a rough time mama. You DO deserve a break!

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by 2xand2y

My kids are "bucket trained". If anyone says their tummy hurts they are immediately provided a large tupperware or other easily cleaned plastic container. My youngest is 4 and my oldest is 10. I can't remember the last time I cleaned up puke off of anything but skin and the bucket. They sleep with it by their heads when they are sick, watch TV with it in their laps, and bathe with it on the side of the tub.

(((hugs))) You're doing great!

haha, I was sick the other day and my kid asked me "mom, do you want me to get the throw up bowl for you" in the sweetest most nurturing voice. The only time i have to clean up throw up is if they puke in their sleep. but if they know it is coming they grab a throw up bowl (which for a while actually had a label on it that said "throw up bowl".) Ava could hit that thing by time she was 24 months.

I won't lie, I feel no guilt handing off a sick kid. my mom did not coddle me when I was sick and i have trouble being that mom. Even when I wasn't a single mom.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

OMG, Thyra, I thought you were going to say you forgot Liam in the library or something.

You are SOOOOO not even REMOTLY a bad mother. Cut yourself some slack, kiddo! Not everyone can handle the pukeys. My MIL is one of them, and she is an awsome mother. I am not sure what she would have done if she didnt have HER mother living 2 minutes away when her kids were little.

Anyone see the movie Divin Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood? Yea, cant watch that ONE SCENE. Everytime i know its coming, i have to leave the room til its over or fast forward. (yea, you know the one. )

[Super~Single~Mama]

Thanks everyone. He's STILL sick! Seriously, its driving me INSANE! DS's dad did help out ALOT this weekend, and I'm SO GRATEFUL for that, he saved the weekend (or at least made it bearable!).

Ugh. I got DS tested for Strep Throat yesterday at the Urgent care on the advice of my uncle (a dr with 2 kids), he said that my cousin had the exact same symptoms once around the same age and it turned out to be strep. I'm PRAYING that he's right and we just need to do a round of antibiotics. I can't STAND this anymore!

It's even worse, b/c he's only throwing up once/day, but its in the middle of the night! GROSS. And its in his sleep. Last night he didn't even wake up right away so we had to wash his hair cause it was all crusty in his hair. GROSS.

[StephandOwen]

Oh no! I'm so sorry your little man is sick I hope he kicks this thing quickly!

And no way are you a bad mommy! You're a GREAT mommy for recognizing your limits and asking for help BEFORE you cross that limit! Which would be worse? For a kid to be sick AND have a cranky mom? Or a kid to be sick and switch off parents so that no parent is cranky while caring for him? Obviously you did the right thing

[StephandOwen]

And, as a side note, ds is not toilet or bucket trained for puke If he's already started puking then we'll leave a bowl by him and hope he gets it in the next time (sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't). Thankfully he doesn't get tummy viruses often!

One thing dp can't stand is puke. I remember one time ds was ill and dp got him to the bathroom in time to puke IN the bathroom (but not in the toilet). He got ds cleaned up, closed the bathroom door and waited for me to come home. LOL! At least he got ds cleaned up

[Super~Single~Mama]

LOL! At least you have a good sense of humor about it. NO WAY would I clean up old gross puke. I HATE PUKE.

And, even though ds's dad helped out a lot this weekend, I'm totally a cranky mom I've already done 7 loads of laundry, and I have at least 2 more to do (most puke related, some just dirty clothes). And I'm out of quarters. So....I have to figure out how to get quarters, do laundry while taking care of sick kid, get probiotics to see if that will help kick this nasty bug, and figure out how to do homework with crappy internet access and a sick kiddo. Grrr......cranky mom indeed.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I just realized I called your son Liam in the other thread.

Im such a JACK @$$!