What do you do when you don't live in a neighborhood with kids?

[minkajane]

We seriously have NO kids near our house except for the ones across the street who are under 3. DS (5.5) is a VERY sociable child and adores being around other kids. DH takes him to playgrounds and stuff, but they're mostly populated with younger kids on school days. There are no playgroups or anything within a 30-minute drive of here and even those specify that they're for stay at home moms and DH would feel really weird going to them. DH is starting to wonder if it might not be better for DS to be in public school so he has regular friends. We are planning on moving, but probably not until next summer at least.

So what do you do to help your kid make friends? Isn't it good for them to have regular friends at this age, rather than playing with different kids a few times a week at the playground? He's been in classes before, but those are usually centered around the activity with not a lot of time for socialization.

What would you do in this situation?

[alegna]

We drive. A LOT. Kids don't play in the neighborhood here, but we have created a very active playgroup and now a great homeschool co-op. We belong to numerous different groups and use them all.

-Angela

[Love_My_Babies]

We went to several homeschool classes and gyms before finding a handful of other families that we really clicked with. I had to put myself out there on my kids behalf since they are too young to initiate playdates. So, I had to introduce myself to the other moms and invite them over, etc. Now, my kids (oldest is also 5.5 yo) have several friends younger, older and similar in age. They get to see most of them once or twice a week. They have really bonded with these kids, and it is neat to see their problem solving and social skills at work with kids they care about!

[crunchy_mama]

We go to the hs coop which is usually once a week. Attend story-time at the library once a week, a playground group 1x a week as well. We also have a group of friends we visit now and again.

[dubatatamama]

All of the kids in our neighborhood are older (late elem., middle school-aged), so my kids don't play with anyone in our neighborhood. We have 3 large HS groups within a 50 mile radius of our house, so we do end up driving a bit to go to different activities, field trips, or park days, and that is just how it is around here. Sometimes things are really close and other times we drive 45 minutes to an hour. But I feel like it is worth it to be able to meet other HS families and have the kids get together with other kids. By doing this, we were able to form a co-op with several other moms in our area and we see them at least once a week.

[*Jessica*]

We don't have any kids in the neighborhood, or at least I never see them outside. Perhaps there are kids but they are all inside so I don't know they exist! LOL

We participate in a homeschool group for nearly all of our social interaction. We meet with some of them every Tuesday afternoon for a couple of hours for a Ready Set Happy class and a drawing class. Once a month the whole group meets for the kids to play and the adults to talk field trips, etc.

We also have family nearby with children. My homeschooling cousin is my best friend, and she has children of similar age to mine. We try to get together, but it's never often enough. Maybe once per month, sometimes even less than that around the holidays.

Lastly, Nik just started Cub Scouts, so every other week he is with other boys his age.

I do think it helps that my boys are close in age. I don't worry about socializing with other children too much because of this. It would be wonderful for the boys to have kids they could meet outside and play with daily, but we work with what we have.

[Momma Aimee]

we live rural, like the middle of a feild rural.

the boys have freinds at church; though i am not too imporessed with them and ve do not see them outside of Sunday.

we have one family the boys play with because the mom and I are freinds. her 9 kids range from 19 to 1 and i have a 3 and 5 year old that fit in.

Their other "good freinds" that they talk about constantly, are the children of my BFF and her boys are 9 and 11.

no that doesn't give them freinds theri own age -- but i personally feel the "own age freind gang" concept is artfical and a construct of the public schools system.

outside of the school -- or an attemp to mimic the school -- do you see a group of age-same peers ?

historically most kids would be grouped with their family, or be soical with a wider age group as families got together.

So while my boys do not have buddies their own age -- i don't feel THAT is really necessary.

They play with the kids of DH's work assocates (some much older, some babies); they are in multi-age groups at church (k to 3rd). we got to the park, rarel,y see others there, but if we do they jump right in to play.

so I guess my ansver is i don't worry about it -- my mom and 5 sibs grew up on a farm and rarly left save to go to church .... that used to be normal.

when they are older i hope they can take some classes (multi- aged) with other homeschoolers and i do hope to find us a homeschool co-op or group -- but again, mutli - aged oppertunties.

[4evermom]

If you have a school aged child, you have to go to the playground after 3. Mornings will have toddlers who head home for lunch and a nap. Early afternoons might have preschoolers after a morning program.

I started up homeschool parkdays because there wasn't anything in our area. It took a few years to get established. It has been work. I still think it might fizzle if we didn't show up two weeks running. I used to take ds to farther away parkdays. He made one friend through that and we've been exchanging weekly playdates despite the distance (more than an hour each way). So we have two good things going most weeks.

But I don't think it's critical at age 5 to play with peers. I wouldn't sweat it if ds seems happy.

[Serendipity]

We don't have neighborhood friends either. We have an active homeschool/unschool community and drive elsewhere to see friends often. We also do lots of classes etc.

Maybe try a park around the time school gets out?

[kittie313]

My neighborhood, we're the only ones not old enough to be retired.......... lol I feel for you on this one! How we handle it is that we attempt to go to a play area (a park or something) once a week, the girls play with whoever is there, and we go to church, AWANA, and are involved in a hs group. We have a fairly large hs community here locally, so there is almost always someone else for my girls to play with that would be around my oldest girls' ages (not that it really matters, as they have little sisters and are used to the under 5 crowd) Plus, in our home there are 4 girls back to back, so they don't have *as* much need to be around other kids really since there are built in playmates right here, they often complain that they don't enjoy playing with other kids when we go some places and I'll find them pairing off to play even at a park instead of playing with other kids.

If I get really hard up though, I'll post on the hs group list on Monday (for example) that on Wednesday at 11am we will be at this park that we love for a picnic and playing, if any other families wanted to join us. I've never shown up after posting that to no other hsing families there, and often more than 10 families will show for a picnic and playdate. There are over 160 families in my hs group, so it gives us a lot of opportunities to arrange stuff.

[Momma Aimee]

Originally Posted by kittie313

My neighborhood, we're the only ones not old enough to be retired.......... lol I feel for you on this one! How we handle it is that we attempt to go to a play area (a park or something) once a week, the girls play with whoever is there, and we go to church, AWANA, and are involved in a hs group. We have a fairly large hs community here locally, so there is almost always someone else for my girls to play with that would be around my oldest girls' ages (not that it really matters, as they have little sisters and are used to the under 5 crowd) Plus, in our home there are 4 girls back to back, so they don't have *as* much need to be around other kids really since there are built in playmates right here, they often complain that they don't enjoy playing with other kids when we go some places and I'll find them pairing off to play even at a park instead of playing with other kids.

If I get really hard up though, I'll post on the hs group list on Monday (for example) that on Wednesday at 11am we will be at this park that we love for a picnic and playing, if any other families wanted to join us. I've never shown up after posting that to no other hsing families there, and often more than 10 families will show for a picnic and playdate. There are over 160 families in my hs group, so it gives us a lot of opportunities to arrange stuff.

THAT sounds GREAT -- i am jealous

[Daffodil]

We don't live in a neighborhood - we're on 11 acres on the outskirts of town. But it's a small town, so if we go to any activity in town we're likely to see people we know. For instance, in summer there's live music once a week in a local park, and my kids always find other kids to run around and play with when we go - both old friends and new ones. And when DD has taken swimming lessons and art classes, she's had kids in her classes she already knew.

When the kids were younger we went to playgroup and library story time and met people that way, but now we're more likely to do stuff with other homeschoolers. There are quite a few other homeschoolers around here with kids around the same age as mine. There's a weekly park day in good weather, weekly homeschool ice skating in winter, a game day twice a month, and occasional tours or other activities people set up. And of course we can have playdates with other homeschooling kids.

I guess what I'd do in your situation is try to find other homeschoolers in your area with kids about the same age as yours, and set up some playdates or other activities.