Dd refused visit

[Jyotsna]

Just wanted to let you all know that Dd refused this weekend visit with her father.

I had no idea she was going to do that, so it was a great surprise to see her in action, refusing to go.

Her father said I should have told her to go with him, that I am a bad mother for not insisting that she go with him. Then after berating her and threatening her, he told her that he was going to disown her if she didn't go with him.

It was very dramatic, and I am so tired of it all. He threatened to take me to court for not forcing her to go with him. I wish he would. I have a few things lined up for court too.

Do you think I should have told her she must go?

[homewithtwinsmama]

No, you should not. Let him take it to court. A 15 minute talk with the judge and your daughter would hopefully never have to go again. Good for her. She is so strong! I am in awe of her.

[vannienicole]

[chaoticzenmom]

Awesome for her. She's so strong. No, you should stand beside her with nothing but support.

[Super~Single~Mama]

You also should not tell her NOT to go - that looks like you coaching her. She can refuse (she has the right to bodily autonomy just like everyone else), and you can support her. But do not do anything to make it look like you are telling her not to go.

[cheer mom]

Good for her!

And no--don't ever make her go with him!

[cycle]

[PikkuMyy]

That's wonderful! Of course you shouldn't have made her go. That's just as bad as her father making her go. It's her choice, and the more choices she makes, the better it will look in court in terms of the judge listening to her and making her input count.

[meemee]

the child who has filed a police report has the right to refuse.

however honestly Jyotsna i dont know what to say.

she cant file, then go, then not go, then go. she needs to take a stand. if she wont go she wont go EVER. i am talking legally here.

i am assuming you will have some legal fight since your ex can sweet talk. and your dd is 10. so not sure a judge will give her the same benefit of doubt as he would a 12 year old. however i am sure if it ever came to that and she had to go talk to the judge alone she can make her stand.

so as much as i want to tell you dont advice her to go, i dont know what the legal precedence should be. i dont know what the best decision should be legally. i mean she is 10 years old. you cant force a 10 year to go as you could a 2 year old.

OMG jyotsna i just realised it was your TEN year old who started her periods. gosh that is waay too early. she is still such a baby (you know what i mean). OMG i cant imagine my dd who will soon be 10 to have to go thru all what your dd went thru.

i wonder if its that time of the month and she doesnt want to deal with her dad with it.