another s/o of reading aloud -- resistance?

[Momma Aimee]

I have 2 boys. DS1 is going to be 5 in less than 2 weeks. DS2 truned 3 yesterday.

DS1 loooves books, and since I was preggo - os 15 or 16 months old for him -- has been able and willing to sit for 45 minutes or more to hear me read.

eveyday we have read and read and read.

my pregancy i was so sick, then with a new baby -- we would litteraly in 2 or 3 or 4 churcks, read hours a day.

Enter DS2.

HATES books.

from the time he could pull them out of my hand and toss them he would. For a long long time he'd SCREAM and try to hit the book.

I admit, we've read less for over a year -- it is too much work and not fun. DS1 and read when Daddy takes DS2 outside and stuff, we keep TRYING to read with DS2 -- but it is just not fun.

he is now 3 and in the past month or 2 will bring me and book and look at picters -- only the ones he chooses -- still will not tollerate reading, even short borad books (Brown Bear what do you see and the like).

I am longing to start bigger longer read-a-louds with DS1 -- but DS2 can't make it thorugh a Dr S book liek The Sleep Book w/o tearing the book out of my hands, trying to close it, crying and getting distressed and mad.

They go to bed together, i parent them to bed, and generally do bed time alone most nights (DH travles a lot, or works late, or com es home, sees them then has more work to do) and even if Daddy is home by 7 pm both boys are pretty much all about daddy.

any thoughts?

I am so fustrded and so defeated.

books are my love,a nd DS1 seems to share that love. DH doesn't read unless he has to (work) and doesn't enjoy it -- DS2 seems to be taking that path.

I mean, the boy has heard me read each and evey day since conception -- it is not like books are new thing

any ideas?

[*Jessica*]

That's a tough one. I don't think I would worry about DS2 not liking books yet. He's still very little and things will change as he gets older. Go at his pace. Read to him only when he brings you a book and seems receptive to reading it.

The only read-aloud alternative that I can come up with at the moment is for you to record yourself reading those longer books so DS1 can listen with headphones on. It won't be the same, but if he listens while looking at the book and while snuggled up next to you maybe you'll have a chance to do something quiet with DS2 that he enjoys and make them both happy.

That's all I've got. I hope someone else has a brilliant suggestion for you!

[Momma Aimee]

thanks Jessica, always glad to hear from you -- such a fimilar face

[4evermom]

My ds didn't like being read to when he was younger but now he loves it and we'll read up to two hours at night. I think he felt like he didn't have my attention when I was reading to him. My attention was on the book and I seemed less accessible to him. He still breaks into my reading and will tell me what he would do or what he thinks. He has always been interactive with everything so I shouldn't be surprised he doesn't just listen passively.

I like Jessica's suggestion of making recordings for your older ds. You can also get out audio books from the library if you can't manage to find the time to make them. We had some success with them when ds was four or so because they could be on while he played, or in the car, and he felt he could talk to me at any time.

[AAK]

I would not worry about the younger one at all. This is really normal for a lot of kids--even those in a very book happy family. I think it is great that he is looking at the pictures--let him explore the books on his terms. I wouldn't want you to push him (esp at 3) because his reaction may be to push back. I am sure you already do this, but keep buckets with "his" books around the house. Keep a couple board books in the car. Let him pick one out at the library or bookstore. Also, though--if you don't already--get some of the wordless books. Maybe he will "read" them to you. That way, the story is only as long as he makes it.

For your older child. . . I like the idea of the tapes, etc but you really need to have that time with him. Is it possible to carve some out. Put the 3 yr old to bed 20 min earlier. Or, (what I did since my two were in the same room at that age) they went to bed at the same time. I sat on a ball across the room and read. If they didn't want to listen, they could go to sleep. Otherwise, they could sit up or lay in their bed and enjoy the story. There weren't any other choices.

Or does the 3 yr old still nap. Is there a show that he regularly watches. Could you set him up with playdoh. Does just hearing you read bother him or is it when you want him to sit with you to read. I am saying this because if he is in the room actively engaged in something else, can you read to the older one?

Amy

[Dar]

Are you trying to actually read the book to the three year old? IME a lot of kids that age aren't up for more than a few words per page, and a bunch of pages get skipped. That's okay. Dr. Seuss is actually a lot of words - how about a book like "No, David" or even a book without any words like "Goodnight, Gorilla", so it's more about looking at the pictures and maybe talking about what you see?

[kgianforti]

Read aloud time doesn't have to be "sit in your lap and listen". Does he like to color? Read while they color or build with blocks or even during snack time.

[crunchy_mama]

I think all kids are different and all ages are different. I don't think it is all that odd at his age. My 3.5 y.o. listens fairly well but my son didn't start listening very well until 4+ I think. A couple of ideas for getting to then read to the older one- how about doing mealtime while they are still eating and sitting. Does the younger fall asleep before the older? Can you then keep reading to the older then?

[yllek]

I think that if I were in your shoes, I'd give the 3yo some special story times of his own and bring the stories out of the book as much as possible. One time, I printed images of story characters on cardstock, cut them out and stuck them on popsicle sticks. We listened to a recording of a Japanese folktale, and I did a little puppet show for ds and dd. They immediately wanted to hear the story again, so they could be the puppeteers. By the time I read the picture book different version of the folktale, the kids were absolutely riveted by the illustrations and the different voices that Mommy uses.

On a related note, if we are going to read about bears, a bear would cuddle with us, and I'd occasionally talk to the bear about his behavior in the story. Props of any kind are really wonderful to have if you can swing it.

I've also had favorite stuffed animals do all the story reading. Different voice characterizations and silly faces also make the story come alive.

Keep the stories short and sweet, and bring in lots of elements of play.

[Needle in the Hay]

Originally Posted by Dar

Are you trying to actually read the book to the three year old? IME a lot of kids that age aren't up for more than a few words per page, and a bunch of pages get skipped. That's okay. Dr. Seuss is actually a lot of words - how about a book like "No, David" or even a book without any words like "Goodnight, Gorilla", so it's more about looking at the pictures and maybe talking about what you see?

Also books where there are flaps to lift, wheels to turn, etc. can be a hit at that age. Yes they can be a pain because they can get ripped, but kids that age do seem to really like little doors and things to open. You could also try acting out a book (all of you) especially one with repetition and specific actions like We're Going on a Bear Hunt. Hide a stuffed bear somewhere and go to a different room of the house for each page of the story until you get to the bear cave. I think there's an Eric Carle book about doing different movements--that could be fun. You could put the book down where you can see it rather than hold it. Maybe he could turn the pages to see what the next movement is.

I also remember my son going through a stage where he was much more interested to know "what's that lady saying?" or "what's the dog thinking?" than in what was written in the book. He didn't start liking longer books until he was about 7, when he started to become interested in book series. Before that he preferred books with pictures. From age 7 we did a mix and now we mostly read chapter books (he's 9). He likes to quietly play or draw while listening. He loves audioooks in the car.

I agree about not pushing reading time and even though I think it's fine that you think this might just be the way he is (like your DH), he might just surprise you.

[Momma Aimee]

thanks ladies.

i have tried a lot of the suggestions (reading while he eats, or the 2 of them color) but he is almost anti-book. he will come take it away from me and get mad. unless it si one he chose and he gets to point at pictures.

i keep trying.

i have no expectation he sit and lissten, i frankly don't really care if he listens I'd just like to get to a point he is not voilently opposed to it -- his brother so loves it.

(bedtime the older falls asleep faster most nights, but even if he stays awake longer i do not want to read then, he has a habit of trying to keep himself avake and a book would be a great 'reason")

I will keep on trying