I am asking for advice here, before I do anything. 
Okay, so thanks to leaving my abusive STBX, I am now living in my parent's attic again. I am having to take some college classes to keep my teaching license active, so I am in the unusual position of not being able to relocate at this time to get a better job. We don't have a lot of teaching positions where I live, and I am more than happy to move out of state now that I am almost divorced and can do whatever I want to with my life- but I am stuck here until May when I finish my classes. So that is some background there.
Math is math, and I simply do not make enough money at my current teaching job to afford to live on my own. Thanks to my husband, I don't have any friends that I can live with. I can't get a second job while working and being a college student, mainly because I have sleep apnea and I consider sleeping to be essential.
I haven't really had any issues living here since I left my husband. It has all been recent. I take care of my own bills, kick in for food, try to shower at the gym so I wont use their water, etc. I have offered rent repeatedly but my Dad wont take it.
So, basically, I don't consider myself to be that much of a burden on them. Especially when every time I mention plans to move out I am encouraged NOT to move out. So, I just wanted to make it clear to everyone here that I am not an entitled brat living off of my parents because I feel it is their job to support me, I am not. It is MY job to support me, and I feel that I have done that fairly well.
I do prefer to be left alone, though, which could be a problem. They do not cook healthy foods. I am very obese, if you have read my other thread. I pay someone $1 a minute to tell me how to eat, and so, well, I can't eat with them. They eat at 4 PM and my schedule doesn't even have me home until sometimes 7 or even 8 at night. So it is hard for me to eat at 4 on weekends. I tried really hard to eat my food with them early, but that messes up my schedule. If I don't eat their food, she gets mad at me for it. I have offered to cook for them on the weekends but she says no. I tried making their dinner time my lunch time, but that did not work out for me either. When I sit down for family meals with them, someone mentions my STBX. I dislike talking about him. I know I made a mistake marrying him, I do not feel that I need to be reminded daily. So I have had to set a boundary that I will leave the room if they start talking about him or how I was crazy to marry him, etc.
I can sit down with my Dad before work or in the evenings and we can have good conversation. With my Mother, that just isn't happening.
For example, I have been feeling sick for a week or so. I had a bad cough, but wasn't sure if it was allergy related or a true sickness. I am a teacher, so it is not really possible for me to just come and go like I please from my job. Perhaps in an office my presence wouldn't be missed. But I am fairly certain that my 17 students would notice my absence. So I decided to go to a walk in place after my work day ended.
It was $30 to go there, after insurance. Plus I had to have medication so that was $20. Not that it matters, but a friend of mine *not local so that is not a roommate possibility* recently gave me some money to help cover my therapy costs, so the money to see the doctor came from that money. Basically, I didn't pay for it myself.
Well my Mom went off this morning, yelling because I should have called my old family doctor because she is sure he would have seen me for free if I asked nicely. Well, yes, I am sure he would have seen me for free if I asked nicely. However, it was a Friday afternoon when I felt so sick that I thought I needed a doctor, the average wait time in his office waiting room is at least two hours because he is always behind, and who was going to take over in my classroom while I was gone? It just made sense to me to pay the $30 to see a doctor that I could fit in to my schedule.
I don't understand why it is any of her business, anyway, what I spend my money on? I pay as much of my own way in this house as my Father allows me to do. I take care of all of my own bills. I left an abusive husband and funded my own divorce. I paid off 4 medical bills that I had from when I went blind last year without asking for even one penny from my parents. I did that all on my own. So why is it okay for her to make me feel guilty for a $30 co-pay? That technically I did not even pay for myself?
Am I wrong in that? I am a responsible person. I don't do anything illegal, I don't get in to trouble. The craziest thing I do is sometimes I go to dinner with some coworkers. That is as wild as it gets around here, folks.
Another issue is my homework. Because I work and I have recently started therapy, nutrition counseling and going to the gym, I mainly complete my assignments on weekends.
She will interrupt me multiple times a day on the weekends. She will come in to my room and want to argue. She picks fights and my Dad feels the same way, she does it to him, too. So at least I know I am not the only one. I tell her that I am doing homework. I can spend hours, no joke, hours doing one section of the assignment. That is how hard it is. I have to get a certain GPA to keep my license, plus I paid over $900 for the class and the books. It is really important to me that I do well in this class. When she comes up here to interrupt me and starts complaining about me, it makes me cranky, moody and my blood pressure goes up. I take two medicines for high blood pressure, so I am very aware of when it is high. I have tried being nice and asking for her to please let me finish my assignment, then she can yell all she wants, whatever. Just let me get it done first.
Yet, in an hour, there she is again. The only thing that works is being grouchy. I do not like that, I do not want to be grouchy because that just gives her a reason to bitch to everyone that I am ungrateful.
The worst part is, is that sometimes I wish I could go back to my husband. Sometimes I think his physical abuse was easier than her emotional abuse. Which is sick, I know.
So any advice? I am probably stuck here until July. I am trying my best to make the best of it. It just gets hard sometimes. It is almost 5 PM and I still have not completed my assignment because of multiple interruptions.
No, I do not have a lock on the door. I wish!
I feel like maybe I am being unreasonable? It is one thing if she just wants to talk, but quite another when she just wants to nag and bitch.
One thing I plan to work on in therapy is how to be assertive. I am not good at that. I do not ever want anyone to think I am mean to them. I think I might be extra sensitive thanks to STBX. I just feel that it is unfair to be nagged every day. I am 32 years old and people trust me to educate their children. I am not stupid or incompetent. I have a degree, am working towards another and I got out of a really bad marriage. I have accomplished a lot in my life time, and I just feel that she could be more sensitive to me.
Perhaps I need less advice and more hugs? I don't know. I feel that I do not have friends to talk to. So I am talking here.
Okay, so thanks to leaving my abusive STBX, I am now living in my parent's attic again. I am having to take some college classes to keep my teaching license active, so I am in the unusual position of not being able to relocate at this time to get a better job. We don't have a lot of teaching positions where I live, and I am more than happy to move out of state now that I am almost divorced and can do whatever I want to with my life- but I am stuck here until May when I finish my classes. So that is some background there.
Math is math, and I simply do not make enough money at my current teaching job to afford to live on my own. Thanks to my husband, I don't have any friends that I can live with. I can't get a second job while working and being a college student, mainly because I have sleep apnea and I consider sleeping to be essential.
I haven't really had any issues living here since I left my husband. It has all been recent. I take care of my own bills, kick in for food, try to shower at the gym so I wont use their water, etc. I have offered rent repeatedly but my Dad wont take it.
So, basically, I don't consider myself to be that much of a burden on them. Especially when every time I mention plans to move out I am encouraged NOT to move out. So, I just wanted to make it clear to everyone here that I am not an entitled brat living off of my parents because I feel it is their job to support me, I am not.
It is MY job to support me, and I feel that I have done that fairly well.I do prefer to be left alone, though, which could be a problem. They do not cook healthy foods. I am very obese, if you have read my other thread. I pay someone $1 a minute to tell me how to eat, and so, well, I can't eat with them. They eat at 4 PM and my schedule doesn't even have me home until sometimes 7 or even 8 at night. So it is hard for me to eat at 4 on weekends. I tried really hard to eat my food with them early, but that messes up my schedule. If I don't eat their food, she gets mad at me for it. I have offered to cook for them on the weekends but she says no. I tried making their dinner time my lunch time, but that did not work out for me either. When I sit down for family meals with them, someone mentions my STBX. I dislike talking about him. I know I made a mistake marrying him, I do not feel that I need to be reminded daily. So I have had to set a boundary that I will leave the room if they start talking about him or how I was crazy to marry him, etc.
I can sit down with my Dad before work or in the evenings and we can have good conversation. With my Mother, that just isn't happening.
For example, I have been feeling sick for a week or so. I had a bad cough, but wasn't sure if it was allergy related or a true sickness. I am a teacher, so it is not really possible for me to just come and go like I please from my job. Perhaps in an office my presence wouldn't be missed. But I am fairly certain that my 17 students would notice my absence.
So I decided to go to a walk in place after my work day ended.It was $30 to go there, after insurance. Plus I had to have medication so that was $20. Not that it matters, but a friend of mine *not local so that is not a roommate possibility* recently gave me some money to help cover my therapy costs, so the money to see the doctor came from that money. Basically, I didn't pay for it myself.
Well my Mom went off this morning, yelling because I should have called my old family doctor because she is sure he would have seen me for free if I asked nicely. Well, yes, I am sure he would have seen me for free if I asked nicely. However, it was a Friday afternoon when I felt so sick that I thought I needed a doctor, the average wait time in his office waiting room is at least two hours because he is always behind, and who was going to take over in my classroom while I was gone? It just made sense to me to pay the $30 to see a doctor that I could fit in to my schedule.
I don't understand why it is any of her business, anyway, what I spend my money on? I pay as much of my own way in this house as my Father allows me to do. I take care of all of my own bills. I left an abusive husband and funded my own divorce. I paid off 4 medical bills that I had from when I went blind last year without asking for even one penny from my parents. I did that all on my own. So why is it okay for her to make me feel guilty for a $30 co-pay? That technically I did not even pay for myself?
Am I wrong in that? I am a responsible person. I don't do anything illegal, I don't get in to trouble. The craziest thing I do is sometimes I go to dinner with some coworkers. That is as wild as it gets around here, folks.
Another issue is my homework. Because I work and I have recently started therapy, nutrition counseling and going to the gym, I mainly complete my assignments on weekends.
She will interrupt me multiple times a day on the weekends. She will come in to my room and want to argue. She picks fights and my Dad feels the same way, she does it to him, too. So at least I know I am not the only one. I tell her that I am doing homework. I can spend hours, no joke, hours doing one section of the assignment. That is how hard it is. I have to get a certain GPA to keep my license, plus I paid over $900 for the class and the books. It is really important to me that I do well in this class. When she comes up here to interrupt me and starts complaining about me, it makes me cranky, moody and my blood pressure goes up. I take two medicines for high blood pressure, so I am very aware of when it is high. I have tried being nice and asking for her to please let me finish my assignment, then she can yell all she wants, whatever. Just let me get it done first.
Yet, in an hour, there she is again. The only thing that works is being grouchy. I do not like that, I do not want to be grouchy because that just gives her a reason to bitch to everyone that I am ungrateful.The worst part is, is that sometimes I wish I could go back to my husband. Sometimes I think his physical abuse was easier than her emotional abuse. Which is sick, I know.
So any advice? I am probably stuck here until July. I am trying my best to make the best of it. It just gets hard sometimes. It is almost 5 PM and I still have not completed my assignment because of multiple interruptions.
No, I do not have a lock on the door. I wish!
I feel like maybe I am being unreasonable? It is one thing if she just wants to talk, but quite another when she just wants to nag and bitch.
One thing I plan to work on in therapy is how to be assertive. I am not good at that. I do not ever want anyone to think I am mean to them. I think I might be extra sensitive thanks to STBX. I just feel that it is unfair to be nagged every day. I am 32 years old and people trust me to educate their children. I am not stupid or incompetent. I have a degree, am working towards another and I got out of a really bad marriage. I have accomplished a lot in my life time, and I just feel that she could be more sensitive to me.
Perhaps I need less advice and more hugs? I don't know. I feel that I do not have friends to talk to. So I am talking here.
So perhaps this is the push I need to go and find him there. 
The ankle and wrist are both okay, just very badly bruised. I was given something for the pain. I hope the insurance pays for a lot of this. If not, I will make it work. I just hate stressing over money constantly.
Follow Mothering