Abnormal Behavior 4 year old

[thatgirliknew]

Okay, so my 4yr old DS is suffering from what his therapist calls "preschool depression" but now I'm wondering if there is something more. Ideas, please?

He is 4.5 and he knows how to use the bathroom independently, but some days I am changing his clothes and cleaning him off 4 or more times in a day (like today) because he peed on himself or had a bm. Sometimes he says he doesn't know when he has to go potty, today he said the toilet is too loud.

He is now rejecting touch. No hugs, today I put my hand on his shoulder and he flipped out (DON'T touch me mom)

He is not independent at all. I know he can get him self dressed (I have actually seen him do it before), but he won't do it. If you tell him to get ready or put clothes on and you don't help him or do it for him, he'll just sit there, naked.

He does not like other children. He lashes out at them, he lashes out at me. The only person he doesn't seem to last out at is my DH (probably because he is stricter than me).

He is VERY high needs, and honestly even though I hate to say it, very exhausting. I need ideas, please. I need him to get better. He is miserable and I am exhausted.

[4evermom]

Oh, poor boy (and mama). He sounds so unhappy.

I wouldn't necessarily worry about just the toileting or lack of independence with dressing, mostly because my ds still asked for a diaper for bm and never dressed himself at that age. He just never was the independent sort. I can see an angry kid lashing out at mom, but not other people unless provoked... And I'd worry about his not wanting to be touched, assuming he wasn't busy with something that would make touching distracting/annoying.

My ds was very stressed by pre-k. It was effecting his eating and sleeping and he was starting to show other signs of depression. He had just turned 4. My solution was to take him out of school. I swear he did not let me out of his sight for four months after that. It took him a year before he was mostly back to the way he was.

Good luck

[Juvysen]

have you looked into sensory issues or food sensitivities?

[LuxPerpetua]

My nearly 5 year old doesn't dress herself either. She also still will not poop on the potty and I wouldn't define this behavior as "abnormal," or at least not in the "something is wrong" category. The lashing out, though, would definitely send off bells for me. We had our dd in a 1-hour gym class this summer and afterward she was just this big ball of stress. She would lash out, be angry, her face was flushed, she just seemed ... stressed. For us, I saw no point in continuing because it was so hard on her. She was so much happier after that. Is there any way you can take your son out of preschool? I don't really know of any other way around it.

[One_Girl]

My dd was very stressed by her preschool teacher (because her teacher was really probably someone who would have been a better fit for upper elementary school children) and she had a lot of stress symptoms. After I allowed her to be observed in the classroom and had a meeting with her supervisor the teacher was forced to improve her teaching because she was the cause of most of the problems and things got much better. It was a lot of work and my dd went through a lot of stress. If you can just pull him out for a while or switch him to somewhere else I think that would be a good idea. I think you should ask the therapist to gently explore the possibility of abuse. These symptoms could be stress but they also indicate the possibility of abuse.

[griffin2004]

My friend's DD was diagnosed with depression at age 4. Turns out she was diabetic. Once that got under control, the behavior issued resolved.

Maybe a thorough physical to check for any medical issues that might have a behavioral component?