I'm trying to think of how to phrase my query, but I'm not sure where to go with this, so I'm going to describe the incident and let you all telll me what you think.
DD is 2E -- she's gifted and SPD. She's 4, will be 5 in January. While SPD has been a challenge for her in school since she first started, her behavior really went downhill shortly after age 3. She went through a hitting/shoving phase, in which she swore other kids were always shoving her, so she would shove them. Likely this came about because she had poor vision, and it began to disappear after she got glasses at 3.5.
But around the same time, she started acting out in other ways at home and at school. She gets all wound up, and has a hard time calming down. She will throw stuff or use materials inappropriately (she is at a Montessori preschool and appropriate use is important). She talks loudly, constantly, and will repeat a question or statement over and over if you don't acknowledge that you heard it. She often narrates what she's doing (cute when she's playing with her dollhouse, not so much at school). She has no volume control. She gets too busy talking to listen, talks over other people. She can be very bossy. And so on.
At the same time, I was in the first tri of my pregnancy, and very sick. I came home every day, collapsed on the couch, leaving only to run to the bathroom. At 16 weeks I was laid off from my job (i was the family breadwinner). DH, who was a SAHD, went back to work and eventually got an excellent job, so I became a SAHM. DS was born about a year ago, so that was a big change for DD as well. DS is now a year old.
ANYHOW, so that's all background. On to the issue:
We went for DD's parent/teacher conference at preschool last week. She's in her 3rd year of Montessori preschool, but the teacher is new this year. She's an older lady and has lots of experience, but doesn't know DD well. Earlier in the year we sat down and I tried to describe SPD. I sent a weight vest and some brushes, and talked about how to use them. (Kinda. Our OT wasn't very awesome about telling ME, so my descriptions were probably less than awesome.)
Anyhow, so in conference, the teacher said they used the weight vest but that DD still has trouble in circle time. She often is sent to the hallway to stand "until she can calm her body." Apparently she usually manages this and comes to join the circle after several minutes.
Teacher also expressed that DD often talks loudly while working, interrupts conversations, and tries to tell the other kids how to do their work. Sometimes she has meltdowns. Teacher expressed that she believed this was attention-seeking behavior, and suggested that it might help at school if we were able to give her more one-on-one time at home. She thought that would help especially since the last 18ish months have been disruptive for DD at home, with all the changes.
So. I'm not sure myself where to draw the line between "SPD-caused problem behavior" and "almost-5, loves attention, no longer an only child", but I felt like her teacher was not leaving much room for SPD in there. But I'm not sure how to react or what to do.
I wish her teacher from last year was still there.
DD is 2E -- she's gifted and SPD. She's 4, will be 5 in January. While SPD has been a challenge for her in school since she first started, her behavior really went downhill shortly after age 3. She went through a hitting/shoving phase, in which she swore other kids were always shoving her, so she would shove them. Likely this came about because she had poor vision, and it began to disappear after she got glasses at 3.5.
But around the same time, she started acting out in other ways at home and at school. She gets all wound up, and has a hard time calming down. She will throw stuff or use materials inappropriately (she is at a Montessori preschool and appropriate use is important). She talks loudly, constantly, and will repeat a question or statement over and over if you don't acknowledge that you heard it. She often narrates what she's doing (cute when she's playing with her dollhouse, not so much at school). She has no volume control. She gets too busy talking to listen, talks over other people. She can be very bossy. And so on.
At the same time, I was in the first tri of my pregnancy, and very sick. I came home every day, collapsed on the couch, leaving only to run to the bathroom. At 16 weeks I was laid off from my job (i was the family breadwinner). DH, who was a SAHD, went back to work and eventually got an excellent job, so I became a SAHM. DS was born about a year ago, so that was a big change for DD as well. DS is now a year old.
ANYHOW, so that's all background. On to the issue:
We went for DD's parent/teacher conference at preschool last week. She's in her 3rd year of Montessori preschool, but the teacher is new this year. She's an older lady and has lots of experience, but doesn't know DD well. Earlier in the year we sat down and I tried to describe SPD. I sent a weight vest and some brushes, and talked about how to use them. (Kinda. Our OT wasn't very awesome about telling ME, so my descriptions were probably less than awesome.)
Anyhow, so in conference, the teacher said they used the weight vest but that DD still has trouble in circle time. She often is sent to the hallway to stand "until she can calm her body." Apparently she usually manages this and comes to join the circle after several minutes.
Teacher also expressed that DD often talks loudly while working, interrupts conversations, and tries to tell the other kids how to do their work. Sometimes she has meltdowns. Teacher expressed that she believed this was attention-seeking behavior, and suggested that it might help at school if we were able to give her more one-on-one time at home. She thought that would help especially since the last 18ish months have been disruptive for DD at home, with all the changes.
So. I'm not sure myself where to draw the line between "SPD-caused problem behavior" and "almost-5, loves attention, no longer an only child", but I felt like her teacher was not leaving much room for SPD in there. But I'm not sure how to react or what to do.
I wish her teacher from last year was still there.
. We got the "one-on-one" advice, discipline advice, and every other piece of advice that indicates that ds' behavior must be due to something WE were doing wrong.
but he still does it if asked.
