Lice issues and family drama

[ManateeMama]

Hi. I'm new here and I'm not quite sure where this should go so I figured I'd start here.

Long story short: My aunt's kids have lice. They've had them for 6 years. We've tried to help her get rid of them but to no avail. Yes, children's service have been involved.

My daughter if very close to her cousins. She love to play with them and talks about them all the time. However, whenever we visit them (rarely as they live in another state) she gets lice. I've tried using tea tree oil as a deterrant but it didn't help. This is her second time with them, and she's only 2 1/2.

I'm torn. I don't want to continue to expose my daughter to lice! But if I say anything my family will "never speak to me again." My mom puts huge pressure on me to keep everything under wraps.

Right now I want to say that's it, we're not going around them anymore. My mom says it's not a big deal, I'm over reacting, I should just treat them and get over it.

[Chamomile Girl]

Well...do your aunt's kids continue to be reinfected with lice despite agressive treatment, or is your aunt simply doing nothing to address the problem? I think that would inform my decision. Her poor kids! It is a big deal IMO because as someone who had lice every year as a child I remember it's awful and uncomfortable.

[ManateeMama]

They are continually reinfected because she'll treat a few and then not the others (she has 7) or she'll treat them then not wash the sheets, etc

[neetling]

I think I'd let my family never speak to me again, rather than put my kids (and me!) through dealing with lice. It would be one thing if it were an accident and they didn't know they had it. It's entirely different to knowingly allow other kids to be exposed to it.

I can't really comment on the not getting it fully taken care of thing w/o going ballistic.

[purplepaperclip]

Two words. HELL NO!!! There is no way I would knowingly let my child be exposed to lice, family or not. Let them be angry. That is beyond disgusting and neglectful to let the poor children be constantly infested with lice.
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[Starflower]

Personally, I think I'd tell her that she and cousins are important to your family, but that you just can't knowingly expose your child/family to lice, so you cannot visit them until they are lice-free. I really don't think that is unreasonable.

But it also sounds like the aunt may need some help. Is this because she is overwhelmed? Depressed? Can you or someone in the family who lives closer to them possibly help her treat the lice completely - as in all the kids, possibly the adults and the linens, etc. - until they are gone?

Good luck with the situation.

[April Dawn]

There is no way I'd let my toddler play with kids whose parents KNEW they had lice and had not adequately treated it - especially if the toddler had already gotten lice after playing with these children before! I don't know why your mother thinks it's not a big deal, it is really weird to me that she would expect you to let your daughter get lice and then have to treat her.

[EFmom]

Originally Posted by neetling

I think I'd let my family never speak to me again, rather than put my kids (and me!) through dealing with lice. It would be one thing if it were an accident and they didn't know they had it. It's entirely different to knowingly allow other kids to be exposed to it.

I can't really comment on the not getting it fully taken care of thing w/o going ballistic.

This. The family can go have its little drama party all by itself. I wouldn't play. But no way would I knowingly expose my kids to lice.

[mum4vr]

Originally Posted by Starflower

Personally, I think I'd tell her that she and cousins are important to your family, but that you just can't knowingly expose your child/family to lice, so you cannot visit them until they are lice-free. I really don't think that is unreasonable.

But it also sounds like the aunt may need some help. Is this because she is overwhelmed? Depressed? Can you or someone in the family who lives closer to them possibly help her treat the lice completely - as in all the kids, possibly the adults and the linens, etc. - until they are gone?

Good luck with the situation.

this exactly

a family member of mine had 3 children who had lice almost continuously for about 3 years. We did not live close, but I offered to come help 'til it was gone. She did not accept bc she felt she had it handled-- just kept doing laundry one day, vacuuming and treating heads the next 2-3 days or whatever. Just not GETTING the importance of doing it all n getting it done in one day. Her mother gave her one of those electronic zapper combs that kills lice as you comb? for Christmas! It worked-- she used it daily on every member of the house for like a month, and finally got all the bedding etc done.

No, you are not morally obligated to expose your daughter to disease carrying parasites to please anyone.