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Mums of Many it's November! - Page 2

post #21 of 46

I am happy to have found this group!!  I feel this may be a great spot for a wealth of information and experience!!!  I am 29 and my DH is 32, we have 5 dc and are expecting #6 in June 2011.  Our oldest DD will be 10, then we have 3 boys, 7, 5 and 3, and our youngest dd is a year old.   I am getting very nervous about this one coming in the summer since all of the dc will be home from school (3 of them are in public school.)  All of my other babies were born in fall/winter months, so this will definately be new to me!  The other worry of course is off-season clothing.  I will probably have to find all new baby clothing.......either at a consignment shop or whatnot, which is what I had to do for maternity clothes as well. 

 

I can relate with your comments about unruly and unacceptable behavior.  My oldest seems to cause the most issues with the name calling, which I HATE!!! 

I would be interested in what other books/techniques you all have to reccommend!

 

Katie~Just wanted to say, I'm sure your baby is not missing anything yet ; ).  My LO was a breast baby from the moment she was born until about 9 mos!!!  It was really hard attending to my older dc as well as my household duties when it felt like I was nursing 24/7!!!  Even when she would sleep, she would wake when I laid her down, so enjoy the fact that your lo likes the swing and can give your arms and your back a break for now lol!  I feel like now that she's a year old, I'm still playing catch up with the house since of course that came last on the list!  I went from having a "laundry day" in which I had a basket for the big boys, the adults, one for my dd and one for my 2 yo, so about 7 loads total a week (plus blankets of course.)  To today I have an overload of 2 baskets downstairs of "whatever," extra soiled stuff, towels, blankets, etc, and all of their baskets and closets are overflowing!!!!  My walls and fans haven't been cleaned in like 18 mos and my poor carpets are in desperate need of being deep cleaned!!!  Man, this is getting long lol! Just wanted to say do what works for now, and if your lo seems content, then just "go with the flow" : )!! 

post #22 of 46

subbing!

post #23 of 46

Subbing also, so glad to have found this thread! We only have four right now but would love a couple more kiddos....

post #24 of 46

Subbing as well.  We have twin daughters (11), ds (8), ds (5), ds (3) and one due any day now (don't know if it's a boy or girl).  We homeschool and live in a tiny 2/1 house, so we are VERY close. :D.

post #25 of 46

First, what's up with the mothering.com format?  Has everyone else's changed too or did I screw it up somehow??  I hate it!

 

Second, I hear you Katie!  Sometime I just want to cry b/c I haven't had the chance to snuggle my baby in so long!  I have to just retreat into my room with him and lock the door sometimes to get time with him!  The other kids are all over him, and he's in the swing a lot too when I'm cooking and cleaning mostly.  He seems to be fine with it but I get emotional about it.

 

Third, we are still really struggling with our 11 yr old's behavior.  He's always been "challenging" but the level of disregard for authority and disrespect is just too much.  There's been some incidences with matches lately and I'm feeling nervous and just plain don't like that he is so untrustworthy!  We don't have trouble with the other kids like this.  We really think our parenting is right on and just don't know what to do with him!  Anyone been there?  What did you do?  

 

It was my birthday yesterday and we ended up eating pie in my bed with the younger kids and leaving him downstairs in his room wailing and spouting rudeness b/c we grounded him for using matches without permission.  I know it's developmentally appropriate to be self centered, but really!!!!!!!  

post #26 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post

I don't feel like I have trouble making time for each of my older three, but I feel bad for the baby.  He doesn't like the sling, so that means he's usually in the baby swing during the day.  I change him and nurse him and snuggle and then I have to put him back down to get back to cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, etc.  He seems happy enough (and we co-sleep at night) but I feel like I'm shortchanging him.  I hope he warms up to the sling soon :/



Have you tried other carriers? My fourth and fifth both hated the sling for a while. My fourth loved the ergo (with her legs frogged up) and my fifth loves the wrap and baby k'tan which is my new favorite carrier. He likes to have his legs free and has since he was just a few weeks old. My fourth decided she liked the sling when she was old enough to be on my hip but still prefers the Ergo at 2.

post #27 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by mbhf View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post

I don't feel like I have trouble making time for each of my older three, but I feel bad for the baby.  He doesn't like the sling, so that means he's usually in the baby swing during the day.  I change him and nurse him and snuggle and then I have to put him back down to get back to cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, etc.  He seems happy enough (and we co-sleep at night) but I feel like I'm shortchanging him.  I hope he warms up to the sling soon :/



Have you tried other carriers? My fourth and fifth both hated the sling for a while. My fourth loved the ergo (with her legs frogged up) and my fifth loves the wrap and baby k'tan which is my new favorite carrier. He likes to have his legs free and has since he was just a few weeks old. My fourth decided she liked the sling when she was old enough to be on my hip but still prefers the Ergo at 2.


 

My youngest,my fourth,now 9 months, hated carriers when he was smaller also. Mostly the moby, he would tolerate the ergo for a short time, and he is always in it when we go out so has gotten used to it for outings. (it's kind of funny actually because he really just wants to be held, so if he gets fussy I just have to uncip the ergo and lift him like two inchessmile.gif) When he was a little smaller he would spend a fair amount of time in an excersaucer during busier times like making dinner, but now that he is mobile he resists all types of containment.  Like pps I have struggled with feeling like I am neglecting my baby a bit since I can't spend a whole lot of time laying around gazing into his eyes or anything. Of course, he nurses very frequently still so we have that time, we cosleep and we do have times we play together or snuggle or nurse/rock to sleep etc, but it is a busier kind of interaction, nothing like those lazy days of bonding with my first. To be honest though, he is my happiest baby, he has a really mellow personality and just a pretty contented soul. It helps to remind myself of what he has, instead of what he doesn't, a house FULL of family who love him like mad.

post #28 of 46

Subbing too, thanks to CherryBomb for directing me here! I am wife to my DH for 9 years and we are the parents of three boys (8, 5, and 3) and a daughter, whose first birthday is this week! She was born the day after Thanksgiving last year. Our children are homeschooled from the beginning. 

post #29 of 46

If you look on the December 2010 thread, it says Annette had her babies, but she is in the ICU.  Many prayers of support to her and her family.

post #30 of 46

Yes!  I saw Annette had her babies, I think she is doing a bit better herself today thank heavens.

 

Hi to all the new MOMs!

 

I haven't been around for a while, just busy of course.  The baby does not like to be put down.  It's hard for me as Durian was such an "easy" baby.  Very independent, liked to sit and play.  Elm does not.   If I put him down and walk two steps away he's screaming.

 

I'm struggling a bit myself these day with the "big" family.  I'm a bit of a neat freak, and with all the kids I'm going a bit insane with the mess.  Dh is little help at best.  I'm seriously considering hiring someone but then I feel guilty about that.  Argh.  I'm thinking sister wives would be a great idea.

 

Kat

post #31 of 46

I wouldn't feel guilty about hiring someone.  In the "good old days" someone would have had an extra teenage girl they would have sent over to help.  What's wrong with using someone temporarily for some specific tasks?

post #32 of 46


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mbhf View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post

I don't feel like I have trouble making time for each of my older three, but I feel bad for the baby.  He doesn't like the sling, so that means he's usually in the baby swing during the day.  I change him and nurse him and snuggle and then I have to put him back down to get back to cooking, cleaning, homeschooling, etc.  He seems happy enough (and we co-sleep at night) but I feel like I'm shortchanging him.  I hope he warms up to the sling soon :/



Have you tried other carriers? My fourth and fifth both hated the sling for a while. My fourth loved the ergo (with her legs frogged up) and my fifth loves the wrap and baby k'tan which is my new favorite carrier. He likes to have his legs free and has since he was just a few weeks old. My fourth decided she liked the sling when she was old enough to be on my hip but still prefers the Ergo at 2.

 

Not yet, I do have a Mei Tai somewhere in my closet, though!  I can sneak him in sometimes if he falls asleep nursing.  I'm hoping now that he's about big enough and strong enough to sit forward facing in it with his legs froggied he'll like it more!  can't cook that way, but at least then I could do laundry and sweep and that kind of stuff! 

 

Kat, don't feel guilty!  If I could afford it, I'd hire someone to come clean every week. 

 

Jenny, happy belated birthday!  Sorry to hear about the issues with your oldest.  I empathize, my 9 year old has really been a handful lately and it's wearing me out.  *hug*

 

Welcome, greenthumb!

 

And grats again to AM, I hope she and the babies are doing well! 
 

post #33 of 46

Anyone notice its the "oldest" having a hard time with behavior?  Juct curious if it has any impact on what we're going through with my almost 10 yo daughter???  But my mom  says I'm just getting my "payback" and also that she is becoming more independant and what EVERYONE to realize that.  It is entirely EXHAUSTING!! 

 

I wish we could hire someone to help with cleaning, but not an option for us.  It also bothers me quite a bit if I wake up and there's mess......just hard when I'm sooo tired to stay up just to red up *roll* LOL.  If only we were the "jetsons" LOL!!

post #34 of 46
My oldest is a boy. He will 14 at the end of January. He sleeps forever. I always needed more sleep. But, it is so annoying. We homeschool and it takes him forever to get anything done. All the boys share a room and he is always yelling at the youngest son.

I am so frustrated. I wish he would drink coffee or something. He is such a grouch.

It is almost 10 and he turned the lights out and is back in bed. He is bigger than me and I cannot force him to get up. I don't really have anything to take away either.
post #35 of 46

 

Quote:
 I wish he would drink coffee or something. 

 

Have you suggested it? I was drinking coffee when I was his age.

post #36 of 46
Every morning. All the other kids like coffee. I even let my 1 year old put her finger in my coffee. I want to make sure they like when they are older:wink

He doesn't like energy drinks either.
post #37 of 46

Not new here but haven't posted in awhile- my last post was I think back in Sept and Daisy420 and SandyBeachBums that was what my last post was exactly about! My very oldest (DD17) is a lot better now than say 2 years ago but DS-16 and DD-12 are driving me bonkers! And when they act up/get going the youngers try and pull the same stuff w/us! Wish I had some advice but I live on a dream (mostly DS) will grow up and move out soon.I have hope/faith DD12 will grow out of it- we went through simular exps w/DD17, and we've all made it out alive and now we have a good relationship and she's successful in many ways but DS16 is a different story (and just w/exp seeing my bro- 9 yrs younger than me) and I don't think he'll "grow out of it" before he's an adult.

 

Hugs to you both. Teenagers are proving to be harder in some ways than youngers.

post #38 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyBeachBums View Post

Every morning. All the other kids like coffee. I even let my 1 year old put her finger in my coffee. I want to make sure they like when they are older:wink

He doesn't like energy drinks either.
 


Pesky. Have you talked to him about things you want him to get done and how he thinks he can make it happen?
 

post #39 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy420 View Post

Anyone notice its the "oldest" having a hard time with behavior?  Juct curious if it has any impact on what we're going through with my almost 10 yo daughter???  But my mom  says I'm just getting my "payback" and also that she is becoming more independant and what EVERYONE to realize that.  It is entirely EXHAUSTING!! 

 

 

 

My 9 year old is our oldest and definitely have a hard time with her behavior, uggh.
 

post #40 of 46

Firsts are the hardest usually, aren't they?

 

I've been reading Dr Kevin Leman's books on parenting and I really do like them.  I'm taking notes.  Honestly, I feel freed by the constant reminders from him that I don't have to ask things more than once or react to bad behavior (esp with older kids) but that the next time they ask for something (he says "I don't care if it's toilet paper") the answer is a simple "no."  I'm enjoying the moment when I get to say the no, satisfied that I didn't yell or get angry.  I actually feel like my parenting in the past couple of weeks has been much improved and I'm feeling hopeful.  

 

Kat, I had a best friend with four kids who was single for a while, and I was truthfully thinking how she could move in with us and be a second wife : )  I would LOVE to hire some help- housecleaning, a mother's helper, anything!- but we can't afford it.  Sorry to hear you have a needy baby, that's hard with so much to do.  

 

The mess and noise of the big family are the hardest parts for me.  Four coats on the floor, four kids tracking in mud, etc...

 

 

 

 

 

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