From the little you said, it sounds like he doesn't want to face the idea of you leaving him. Perhaps you could look a little deeper to see why you want to leave? Is the romance gone? (It can most likely be revived.)
I don't have a lot to say (having two failures under my belt) but I was hoping if I replied it would bump your post and someone who has really good advice could help you.
i heard from him recently. Yes, I do think he's not up to the idea of me leavin' him yet. He's the one that iniates the contact and I respond. When he sees me, he's all sweet and charming
I would stop helping him financially, and see what happens. From your posts, it doesn't seem like you're too into him. See other people, do what feels right to you.
True, if the financial help stopped, he might decide to accept a breakup. Just like a woman often stays in a relationship for financial reasons/fears, he might be, too.
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