DD was an only child for 6 1/2 years. She started asking for a sibling when she was 2. She didn't get one until long after we'd planned our second child.
She is a very intelligent, observant, spirited and sensitive child. At school and in extra-curricular activities, when playing with friends etc, she is polite, friendly, helpful and cooperative.
I was very ill after DS's birth. Things did not go at all the way they'd been planned and it took me months to recover physically. I'm still recovering emotionally. I suspect that DD is too.
At home, with both DH and myself, but especially with me, DD is...difficult to be with. She is very demanding about wanting attention, she gets very angry when we require her to do things (simple chores that she's done without complaint for three or four years), and if we express anger or frustration, instead of acknowledging that she has made a poor choice/mistake, says things like "I know, I'm stupid" or "You just think I'm stupid and you hate me", or "You'd like it if I just went away forever wouldn't you".
When she is angry or has been told that she can't do something (and I have always explained the reasons behind 'no' answers), she tries to kick, hit, bite etc and will scream over and over "I hate you, I hate you" or "You're a mean, nasty old woman"
She has NEVER been told she's stupid or that we hate her. We have always focused on the behaviour rather than the person (for negative things). We talk about the affect her choices have on the family (both positive and negative). She gets a lot of attention. I am a shouter (I'm loud in my excitement and pleasure as well as in my anger), and I have not been at my 'stellar best' over the last six months.
She adores her baby brother, and can say and do the sweetest things. When I told her teacher that we'd been having some issues with anger and demanding attention, her teacher was amazed and clarified that we were actually talking about the same child (it was the start of the school year).
She seems to feel that she's entitled to so much (material goods, time and attention to the exclusion of the needs of others) and that DH and I should be waiting on her hand and foot. She doesn't seem to realise that most other children are expected to do much more than she does, and are not treated with the respect that she is.
I have always enjoyed being with DD until recently. We've always done fun things together, and enjoyed each others company. Now we seem to be adversaries all the time. I'm getting very burned out. And if she's like this now, what will she be like as a teenager?
Any words of wisdom?
She is a very intelligent, observant, spirited and sensitive child. At school and in extra-curricular activities, when playing with friends etc, she is polite, friendly, helpful and cooperative.
I was very ill after DS's birth. Things did not go at all the way they'd been planned and it took me months to recover physically. I'm still recovering emotionally. I suspect that DD is too.
At home, with both DH and myself, but especially with me, DD is...difficult to be with. She is very demanding about wanting attention, she gets very angry when we require her to do things (simple chores that she's done without complaint for three or four years), and if we express anger or frustration, instead of acknowledging that she has made a poor choice/mistake, says things like "I know, I'm stupid" or "You just think I'm stupid and you hate me", or "You'd like it if I just went away forever wouldn't you".
When she is angry or has been told that she can't do something (and I have always explained the reasons behind 'no' answers), she tries to kick, hit, bite etc and will scream over and over "I hate you, I hate you" or "You're a mean, nasty old woman"
She has NEVER been told she's stupid or that we hate her. We have always focused on the behaviour rather than the person (for negative things). We talk about the affect her choices have on the family (both positive and negative). She gets a lot of attention. I am a shouter (I'm loud in my excitement and pleasure as well as in my anger), and I have not been at my 'stellar best' over the last six months.
She adores her baby brother, and can say and do the sweetest things. When I told her teacher that we'd been having some issues with anger and demanding attention, her teacher was amazed and clarified that we were actually talking about the same child (it was the start of the school year).
She seems to feel that she's entitled to so much (material goods, time and attention to the exclusion of the needs of others) and that DH and I should be waiting on her hand and foot. She doesn't seem to realise that most other children are expected to do much more than she does, and are not treated with the respect that she is.
I have always enjoyed being with DD until recently. We've always done fun things together, and enjoyed each others company. Now we seem to be adversaries all the time. I'm getting very burned out. And if she's like this now, what will she be like as a teenager?
Any words of wisdom?
I'm sure you'll find some helpful support here. Hang in there mama.
: ), I am able to convey to her what it means to be loved and how that is shown. Reminding her of what is done for her that indicates she is loved seems to help. She is a very good little reader and likes to receive notes from me. She can hang on to them and look at them later.
: just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.
,etc) a little humour can go along way...I see a little smile in there
...but I'm still in the same boat sometimes no matter what I do
Just because a little girl is showing the signs of begining puberty doesn't make her a woman, she is still a little girl. Watch her panties when you do her laundry. Anywhere from 1 month to 6 months before she starts her first period she'll start having discharge of some kind. This is a good way to know when to buy her her own supplies. I'm sure you have plenty of time yet, especially if she is a slender child. Estrogen is stored in body fat and girls with less body fat are more likely to start AF later than girls that are a bit on the full figured side. My dd is very slender, you could bounce a quarter off of her abs. She's built exactly like my sister, who started at 14. I was on the chunkier side and started just after my 11th b-day. Though some girls are starting at 8 and 9. My aunt's children are 9 and 10 years old and both have been young women for over a year now, but that runs in their father's family too.
