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DH is back at work tomorrow I am freaked out

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
Ack how am I going to handle two kids ? both nursing, DD1 wants it whenever DD2 is going. I can handle it a few times a day but then I'm just DONE and need to nurse them separately. I haven't ever put her down for nap alone either. And I have to get them both to the doc by 10am tomorrow for the two week visit. DD1 is taking out her aggression on the cats when she's mad, and she needs to be physically stopped (normal at age 2.5) but man poor DD2 can't ever nurse in peace, she's constantly interrupted. My back is killing me. I should just go to bed, but DD2 isn't asleep yet :P
post #2 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by EzzysMom View Post
Ack how am I going to handle two kids ? both nursing, DD1 wants it whenever DD2 is going. I can handle it a few times a day but then I'm just DONE and need to nurse them separately. I haven't ever put her down for nap alone either. And I have to get them both to the doc by 10am tomorrow for the two week visit. DD1 is taking out her aggression on the cats when she's mad, and she needs to be physically stopped (normal at age 2.5) but man poor DD2 can't ever nurse in peace, she's constantly interrupted. My back is killing me. I should just go to bed, but DD2 isn't asleep yet :P

I don't have amazing words of wisdom for you but I can commiserate! My DH will be back to work too and I have NO idea how I'm going to handle three kids (I also have a nursing 2 y/o)! My DS1 homeschools and I'm starting back to that as well and the idea of it all is so overwhelming that I really can't think about it too much. All I can say is, when my 2nd was born, I was freaked out and didn't know how I'd cope. It turned out to be a really good transition though and even though we had bumps along the way, I figured it out pretty quickly. I'm sure it'll be that way again.. It's scary because we've never done it and we don't know what to expect.. But soon, we'll adjust, it'll become normal life and it won't seem daunting anymore. One step at a time..
post #3 of 8
im just totally freaked in general. wth do i do with a newborn? will i ever manage to wash my hair again? will i always feel so nervous like im holding two precious faberge eggs whilst walking a tightrope?? thing is... i know all of a sudden they'll be grown and i'll be missing this time so i guess i just have to enjoy and endure all the scary stressful times b4 theyre gone... or just replaced by tempestuous teens lol
post #4 of 8
You guys can do it! I went through my OMG how will I DO this?!? freak out before DS3 was born since DH is deployed but now that I actually have all 3 of them it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Sure, things are a mess and we aren't eating the types of meals we normally would but I am sure it will all fall back into place
post #5 of 8
My approach to dealing with a toddler who wants to nurse ALL THE TIME (more than the baby) is to borrow from weaning techniques and distract/offer substitutions as much as possible. (I'm mainly doing this because DD1's latch is AWFUL but that's another thread.) Reading books while nursing the newborn often proves a good substitution. LLL suggests having a basket of specific "while baby is nursing" toys.

Also, this sounds crazy, but I've found that it's easier to take them both out of the house, mainly to places that DD1 views as "fun" (grocery store, library, restaurants, etc.), than it is to be home alone with them. DD1 is less likely to demand to nurse, the dogs and our breakable glassware are all safe, etc.

A baby carrier that provides the newborn with good head support makes it easier to deal with the toddler. I like a mai tai, but there are lots of other options that would be just as effective.

And this goes against all my parenting values, but dvds are a cheap, effective babysitter...

My husband is gone for 4 days at a time when he works. I got through his first "weekend" back by having my parents come up to entertain DD1 during the day, but I still got to figure out bedtimes and showers on my own. The next time he works DD2 will be over a month old and I'll be totally on my own. I DID manage to get them both to an 8 a.m. well baby visit all by myself the other day... it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be; the biggest challenge was getting myself out of bed.

Oh if anyone is trying to figure out showering while home alone with a baby, an infant seat in the bathroom is your new best friend. If you have a toddler too, the best option I've found is waiting until s/he is asleep... although I did live dangerously the other morning and trusted that a dvd would keep DD1 immobilized in front of the computer screen while I took a very quick shower; it worked, but I'm not sure I'd try that with a kid much younger than her and it was pretty nerve wracking.
post #6 of 8
Yeah this is going to lose me some MDC points, but I use television to get through the hours of nursing because all I can do is sit and DD1 always needs something and wants me to get up, unless she's absorbed in the tv. And I put DD2 down a lot more than I put DD1 down back when she was a newborn. Not to the point of fussing or anything, but I simply can't get DD1 dressed if I'm wearing DD2.

And also, I nipped the nursing thing in the bud. After a week of my boobs being held hostage, we told DD1 that she could only keep nursing as much as she used to: at naptime and night night time. It took two days of tears and my husband helped a lot by holding her and trying to console her, but it finally sunk in and now she doesn't ask to nurse anymore when the baby is nursing. It just wasn't manageable otherwise. It's barely manageable even now, because sometimes the baby wants to nurse right when I'm putting DD1 down. But at least those days it's just one battle a day and not 20.
post #7 of 8
I'm with you! I had one morning alone with both kids so far, and it took us until 1:00 pm to make it downstairs for breakfast!! eek. DH went back to work after 5 days, and my dad has been visiting to help with DD1 and dishes and laundry and stuff since then, but he leaves tomorrow and then I'll be all alone for a week, probably, until my MIL and SIL arrive. I am still taking DD to daycare 3 days a week, just to maintain a semblance of normalcy in her life, so I will get some relief then, but I'm still scared. We've been dealing with thrush and a bad latch and biting, so nursing is just generally painful, and my little guy wants to eat SO often, and during that time I am stressed and snappish at DD. PLUS, she always wants to hug/play with the baby when he's sleeping, and it seems like she finds more trouble to get into than ever--like she knows I have my hands full and can't stop her. Oy. The only good side is that I'm looking forward to getting my house back to myself, and having some alone time when the kids are sleeping. I guess we'll make it through.
post #8 of 8
My DH works mill shifts...crazy hours...long days...lots of time 'alone' (with 5 kiddos under eight years old)

We definitely have days where it's all I can do to count the things I am thankful for...
for example today....

1. I am thankful for the humongous mess in the living room because it means my kids have more than enough.
2. I am thankful my kiddos dissed me when I told them it was time for schoolwork because it means they're not in public school and have the option of flexibility.
3. I'm thankful my 4 month old that started to cry moments after laying him down because it means he is healthy and nurtured.

and that was just today.....sigh.

I use timers to get kiddos to do their chores, then it's a 'beat the clock' instead of 'make mama mad'. This usually keeps things moving.

and then there's always the use of their middle names......that seems to work the best sometimes
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