37 weeks no doula

[mizznicole]

I'm vbacing at a birth center. I was strongly encouraged at ican to have a doula. Well, I guess I'm hyper critical and lazy. I met with a doula practice and had email with a few others. I just can't find anyone I love and don't feel like pursuing it anymore. Plus the pricetag on top of my out of pocket birth. Ugh. How bad will it be not to have a doula? I am introverted and worry that the wrong person will be worse than noone.

[ShwarmaQueen]

Originally Posted by mizznicole

I'm vbacing at a birth center. I was strongly encouraged at ican to have a doula. Well, I guess I'm hyper critical and lazy. I met with a doula practice and had email with a few others. I just can't find anyone I love and don't feel like pursuing it anymore. Plus the pricetag on top of my out of pocket birth. Ugh. How bad will it be not to have a doula? I am introverted and worry that the wrong person will be worse than noone.

I did not have a doula, but i had an awesome birth team that got me through my 2 day ordeal!

[CookAMH]

With being at a birth center instead of a hospital, I would think that impact would be less in not having a doula. However, I wondered if you have a friend you trust who could be there to help?

[elisheva]

ITA with having a trusted friend there to help out and just be there to get whatever you need. My doula tried to do physical stuff with me (helping me find more comfy positions, etc) but I found her biggest value just in being there and not having a medical/responsible role. She was just there to make my life easier. A friend can do this for you.

[phathui5]

I think it'll really help that you are in a birth center rather than a hospital environment. Is it a freestanding birth center (not in a hospital)?

Do you feel like you want another woman at your birth? For some ladies, having another woman there, particularly one who has experienced natural birth, is really helpful and some people are better without it.

[cairomama]

I am a doula and I had a doula for my VBAC. Even though my birth was fast and easy, I loved having the support of a doula.

You never know if your birth will be long or short, easy or difficult. It is great to have a doula to provide guidance and reassurance during a long or difficult birth.

If it is just about money, I think most people who have doulas usually say that is was the best money they ever spent. If it is really about not feeling comfortable with any of your options for doula, then maybe a doula is not right for you.

Are you expectations of the birth center staff realistic? Will someone be in your room continuously or will they have multiple patients and be in and out?

How helpful and patient do you think your partner will be on his own?

Do you have a friend who has had the kind of birth you want who can help out instead of a doula?

If you don't want a doula, don't hire a doula, just be prepared.

[MNHall]

My question would be, how supportive is everyone that will be present at your delivery? For example, whoever is delivering you, are you two able to see completely eye to eye? And then, what about your DH? Is he completely on board? And does he know your wants and desires? Will he speak up for you and encourage you on the path that YOU want?

I think if those bases are covered, you're right, having someone in the room that you don't click with will not be very helpful!

My reason for my doula for my first VBAC was for confidence! Every time I met with her, I felt like there was no way I wasn't having a VBAC! I felt on top of the world and really helped me emotionally prepare! Then, I had never tried to naturally labor and I wanted someone telling me I could do it! And then someone telling my husband, this is the kind of support she needs now, or suggest this to her, or see if you can get her to try this. I wanted my husband helping me, but with his lack of education on natural childbirth, I wanted someone educated about it, coaching him too! So, having someone involved that was very experience in natural childbirth, when we had zero experience was very helpful, for me!

For this baby, being that I've already had a VBAC, I went the route of a student doula, aka, FREE! This time I just want another support person cheering me along, giving me suggestions, and helping me through the harder times! I have the confidence, but I still want the support come the hard times!

Anyway, if you haven't clicked with anyone, I think that's a big deal! Clicking with your doula is important as you are relying on them during a very important time of your life....so, if you haven't clicked with someone, well, you just haven't!

[buckeyedoc]

My doula was helpful to me psychologically because she was present in the room, but she was unexpectedly not very hands on at all. The nurse was actually more vocal in helping me stick to my plan of not getting an epidural.

I think if you haven't met a doula who feels like someone you want in the room with you, then you may do just as well with a great support person (friend or family member). Just hash out ahead of time what you would like them to remind you about or suggest during labor. I know my husband would have "let me" get an epidural, even though I did not want one except in a couple moments of "I can't do this", so I needed someone to more firmly remind me of all the reasons why I did not want one and to suggest other things to me.

[roadfamily6now]

You certainly do not need a Doula. I also agree with all the things everyone else said.
Do you have other female support? Is this a free standing birth center and will your midwives be with you the entire time?

[mizznicole]

Thanks for all your thoughtful replies. God dropped a doula in my lap last week. Expensive, but super experienced. I feel really good that she's on board.