Im going to cry...

[zebra15]

I need to vent and hopefully someone on here can relate.

I dont know what to do. For the past 18 mos Ds and I have been living w. a roommate. Things have NOT been good for a number of reasons. Its just not working out. Last month I finally had enough and went and looked for an apt and by some miracle was approved at a totally decent place. I was so excited, our own space, 2br 2bath... rent was a bit high but I was willing to take the chance... well now its 7 days til move in and I've really taken a hard look at the numbers and there is NO WAY I can swing this.

I can't afford to move. I feel so trapped. This is like the only apt complex that is SAFE and clean that will take me with my credit and low income. I want out of here so badly and I can't make it happen right now.

I hate doing this to DS.

I havent had regular full time work in 2 years and there is no work in sight. We get food stamps, state medical and I have student loans for my teaching certificate that are coming due soon.

I know this is the smartest financial decision-staying where we are for now-but dang, just once I'd like to be self sufficient and be able to do something... UGH

Not only are those student loans coming due at some point in the next year I will need a new/different car and I have no idea how I am going to swing that.

*at least I'm only out the $150.00 appliaction fee.... this just stinks... and is not a good start to the holiday season

[CherryBomb]

Have you applied for income based repayment for your student loans?

[lakeruby]

[livingfree]

is there a smaller/cheaper apt. at the same complex that you could rent?

[mommariffic]

What is the rent + what you make? Maybe some of the really frugal ladies here could take a look and help you?

[momct]

Maybe you could get the apartment with a roommate.That way you would be the one with more control of things. However, you would also be liable for the whole rent if the roommate leaves or doesn't pay. I am concerned that you went apartment hunting without realizing it wasn't financially viable. Wanting out of a bad situation is one thing - not knowing what you can afford before making changes is just going to give you trouble. You need to examine things closely and you might find you are right, that you can't afford to move now. Perhaps you can find a different roommate situation? I hpoe you find a way to improve things for you and your son.

[texmati]

I've heard of loan repayments for teaching in underserved areas-- is that something that you could consider?

[Eman'smom]

Is there a cheaper place in the complex? A 2bd/1bath or a 1/1? What about finding a different roomate at the new place? If you could swing the rent alone for a month or two that would give you time to interview people and find someone who is a better fit.

On the student loan front you should be able to get a deferment.

[ikesmom]

I am sorry to hear that things are so tough for you and your little guy. I would consider looking for someone to rent a room from instead of an apartment. There are lots of people struggling to make their house payments and I think it would probably feel homey compared to an apartment..esp if they have a yard for your ds to play.

I don't think I would look for someone on craigslist because I just don't trust people these days , but I have seen lots of nanny positions in exchange for rent. You would have playmates and it could get you out of your current room mate situation if you could register with a nanny service or something more reputable.

[doubledutch]

i'm sorry! but i agree, it's not just a choice between this awesome 2br/2ba versus staying in your current situation. you could find a different roommate situation, or as someone suggested, post your income and expenses, along with your current rent and the rent on the new place, and see if anyone here can help you find a solution. getting the new place with a roommate could be a good option if you know of someone you trust who'd want to rent it out with you OR if you got the other person to sign the lease with you, so that you wouldn't be solely responsible for rent if they flake out.

[zebra15]

Hi- Im back this morning and feeling a bit 'better'... I dont feel that this is the right apt for us. Something just doesn't feel right about it. I've run the numbers a hundred times and while its close Im just not comfortable with being that 'close'.

Since we've had a roommate, I dont want to do a roommate again.

My son is 10, he needs his own room and his own space.

IBR... I haven't looked into that but as someone with years and years of banking experience, financial training, and all that I have a real hard time *not* paying my bills so... IBR would be difficult for me.(mentally)

I've been to heck and back over the past 10 years or so with money and I don't want to repeat my past so maybe I'm being overly cautious with this whole thing.-moving, not moving, the lease, who knows at this point...

Also maybe I just dont want to lock into a 12 month lease. DS and I really dont want to stay 'here' if I can help it. I am continually looking for a way out if this area and back East.

I just hate that I'm 36 years old and can't get a regular full time job, anywhere in the 50 states.. really, the economy is THAT bad? or am I that horrible of an employee??

So I think for now we are going to stay put- at least I know with my credit, as bad as that credit is, I am able to get a rental- and keep looking for full time employment.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[babygirlie]

Sign up to wait on section 8 housing or stipend. You can also do forebearance as well as deferment for like 7 years on your student loans. Look into the teaching programs that allow you to wittle away your loan (like another poster said).

Consider renting a room out of a house. It might be cheaper and less stressful. Check craigslist.

Get your local list of food box drop offs (churches etc). I doubt food stamps covers your actual food costs.

Tackle one thing at a time. Don't worry about the rest. Just move forehead and ahead. Stress will not help you.

You would also qualify for heating assistance most likely in your new apartment if that's what you choose.

A "new" car could be as little as $300. Save what you can and when the time is right get help so you choose the right car. We sold our roommate our car for $300. Not a dent but in the past 6 months he has only bought a new belt so far. It's not the best car though either and he ahs the added benefit of DH helping him to fix it.

[vannienicole]

As far as the student loans go, I just sent them proof that I was on FS and got an economic hardship deferment (forebearance? I forget the difference sometimes).

[mouso]

Originally Posted by CherryBomb

Have you applied for income based repayment for your student loans?

ITA^^^
I know you feel weird about it, but it's based on your income. You're still paying them back, just at a rate that won't take food out of your mouths.
My DH is doing it and it's great!

[thriftyqueen]

North Dakota has tons of jobs, but you have to be willing to move here!!!

[TiredX2]

[bobandjess99]

You have a 4 year degree w/ teaching certificate and are willing to move anywhere in the 50 states, and say you can not find a job? Or am i misunderstanding? That is unbelievable to me. What are you using for your job search?

[bluebunny]

Originally Posted by bobandjess99

You have a 4 year degree w/ teaching certificate and are willing to move anywhere in the 50 states, and say you can not find a job? Or am i misunderstanding? That is unbelievable to me. What are you using for your job search?

This. ^^

And as far as apartments go, could you rent a one-bedroom? I know you said you want your ten-year old to have his own room but you could give him the bedroom and let your space be the living room. It would be a short-term solution if you really wanted to move out of your current situation.

[Thystle]

Originally Posted by thriftyqueen

North Dakota has tons of jobs, but you have to be willing to move here!!!

It's a "red" homeschooling state and she may not like that level.




Anychance going back to school and getting into family student housing? ASU has nice family housing.

[zebra15]

Originally Posted by Thystle

It's a "red" homeschooling state and she may not like that level.




Anychance going back to school and getting into family student housing? ASU has nice family housing.

Ya on that 50 state thing.... I do need to allow for 'lax' homeschooling laws so.. its not quite all 50.