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~*~ November Pagan Families Thread!!!~*~ - Page 24

post #461 of 478

GRRR, Lioness, how frustrating.

 

Huge hugs, Valerie. It will feel dreamy for some time.

 

I want cleaning fairies!! How do I order them? winky.gif

 

Well, M, as per usual, went and got smashed as I was coming home greensad.gif I really wish he would stop doing that. I thought he had it all handled, as he was not smashed when my plane landed, for a change. But he didn't make it through the evening.

It really pisses me off, because it totally ruins my homecoming with my child. Having to worry about M and all.

This morning, I just totally broke down-- crying and wailing to the Universe to please not let M die of this. I am so sad. I know there isn't a damn thing I can do about it and why did the Universe get us back together if he can't get sober and LIVE? He doesn't remember much of anything past getting home from work. But while we were talking last night, he was so pissed at alcoholism and so bummed and sad that he can't seem to stop. I am so afraid he will die before his time. I can't figure out why he's so freaking resistant to AA but IME it's the ONLY thing that helps. It's the only chance. Frick.

post #462 of 478

Valerie - I am so sorry for your loss and I offer up a prayer for you and your family for strength, and love during this time, along with a  candle.gif for your mother to light her path on her next journey.

 

grouphug.gif

post #463 of 478

grouphug.gif Valerie.  I am so sorry for your loss.  Please be gentle with yourself.

post #464 of 478

Maia- Oh man that sucks. greensad.gif  What a horrible pattern for you and him.  I'm sorry you're going through this.  That must be such a blow on the heels of a great trip.  Hopefully this will be one more uncomfortable experience that will bring him closer to the reality of what he needs to do to support himself through this disease. hug.gif

 

LM-Grr... to close minded health care workers.I have real strong opinions about med. prof's who don't want their patients to be educated about their own health.

 

Semi-related topic-Michael Pollan is speaking at the University here tomorrow night and I wish I could afford to go. Boo $.

post #465 of 478

Yes, it does suck, BIGtime. The worst part is, he wants to forget about it ASAP because it so shames him he can't stand to look at himself. That's the tragedy of this freaking disease, for some people. That's why the pattern repeats itself.

 

I asked him if I could have his brother's phone number, and his work buddy's, in case of emergency. His brother allowed me to have it. M and his brother are closer than anything. ANYthing. I said I would never call unless it was a dire emergency, but I swear, I am so close to calling him right now and asking for help.

 

Thing is, his brother has a hair trigger temper and I am pretty sure that even if I said not to, he'd probably not only mention that I called, but tear him a new orifice as to why. The brother has come out on his own to support me (remember that fight M and I had a week or two ago? M mentioned it to his brother, who ripped him a new one over it "You know you have an incredible woman who loves you-- don't you DARE eff it up"). And I don't want that to happen. Yet.

 

I have been depressed and sad all damn day, today, so far. I am thinking of threatening M with that phone call to the brother if he doesn't get off his patootie and DO something about this. I don't know what else to do.

post #466 of 478

I just got the informations for the service (catholic church). We will say the last goodbye on December 11. :'(

 

My life in a few songs...

Celine Dion's song Goodbye's The Saddest Word is playing in my head. Her tribute song to her yound niece too (Fly). There is also a song in French called Une mère (A Mother) that is haunting me. And one of my favorite singer just released a song called Je partirai (I will leave)...

 

So many things to do...

 

I'm making meat pies... will bake some small ones to bring to my dad...

 

post #467 of 478
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View Post

Mom passed away last night...

 

I didn't have much sleep... Still feel numb. Almost as a dreamy state. Everything looks and feels different. Even my coffee doesn't taste the same...

 

Trying to keep touch with reality by doing chores...


Oh Valerie, I am so sorry for your loss.  I will be thinking about you and your family and sending you much love vibes.  Hugs!

post #468 of 478
Quote:
Originally Posted by femme_rouge View Post

Semi-related topic-Michael Pollan is speaking at the University here tomorrow night and I wish I could afford to go. Boo $.



I'm pissed at Michael Pollan right now because he threw his name behind Senate S.510 (which will wipe out small to medium family farms).  I'd like to go to throw tomatoes at him. But that's for a different forum, I guess.

 

Anyhoo... somebody here was looking for gingerbread style GF cookies.  Haven't tried it but this recipe looks promising: http://www.freecoconutrecipes.com/index.cfm/2010/11/29/gluten-free-molasses-cookies

 

Maia: big big bummer.  maybe he's reluctant because he isn't quite ready to take full personal responsibility for his actions?

 

Valerie: so sorry for your loss.

 

It's getting cold here!  Yay!

 

And for those who wanted to read more about heart coherence, Stephen Buhner does a spectacular job describing/explaining it in "Secret Teachings of Plants".  I also recommend Matthew Wood's "Seven Herbs..."

 

post #469 of 478



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

Yes, it does suck, BIGtime. The worst part is, he wants to forget about it ASAP because it so shames him he can't stand to look at himself. That's the tragedy of this freaking disease, for some people. That's why the pattern repeats itself.

 

I asked him if I could have his brother's phone number, and his work buddy's, in case of emergency. His brother allowed me to have it. M and his brother are closer than anything. ANYthing. I said I would never call unless it was a dire emergency, but I swear, I am so close to calling him right now and asking for help.

 

Thing is, his brother has a hair trigger temper and I am pretty sure that even if I said not to, he'd probably not only mention that I called, but tear him a new orifice as to why. The brother has come out on his own to support me (remember that fight M and I had a week or two ago? M mentioned it to his brother, who ripped him a new one over it "You know you have an incredible woman who loves you-- don't you DARE eff it up"). And I don't want that to happen. Yet.

 

I have been depressed and sad all damn day, today, so far. I am thinking of threatening M with that phone call to the brother if he doesn't get off his patootie and DO something about this. I don't know what else to do.



but isnt yelling at him or being mad at him or threatening him also enabling him??

post #470 of 478
Quote:
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Post

but isnt yelling at him or being mad at him or threatening him also enabling him??

I don't know. How do you figure it's enabling?

post #471 of 478



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post



I don't know. How do you figure it's enabling?



that is what the al anon ladies told me.  :shrug

 

esp if you tell him all this stuff. it takes the responsinility off of him and puts it on you bc you feel responsible for his problem.

 

 

http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/aa052197.htm 

 

i am an enabler. everytime i get mad about his drinking or nag him or pay his fine or whatever. i am enabling him. i am new to this but when you talk about M it rings a bell with me and my relationship with my DH. except it is more serious health wise for M.

post #472 of 478
Thread Starter 


Yay for making it in to reply before there are 20 unread posts?! :lol
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Post

Thanks everybody for the suggestions.

 

 valerie- thinking of you today.

 

the more i google the more sad i get. one of the doctors i talked to yesterday made me feel bad for reading stuff on the internet and then telling them what i read. sigh 



Well that's because doctors are GOD .. geez didn't you know that???    Seriously though, doctors resent the internet in a lot of cases because it makes patients proactive and able to be more educated in their healthcare... MOST docs want a patient that will shut up, take their pill, and pay their bill.   My FIL had the same thing with his stomach condition years ago... about 10yrs actually... a family member who was net savvy helped him look up the symptoms and he read about this 'new' diagnosis that seemed very similar to his problem.  TOld the doc, who acted like he was a fool for reading on the net... but dad insisted he do the test.. lo & behold, positive for heliobacter pylori.  Which was exactly what dad read :lol 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View Post

Mom passed away last night...

 

I didn't have much sleep... Still feel numb. Almost as a dreamy state. Everything looks and feels different. Even my coffee doesn't taste the same...

 

Trying to keep touch with reality by doing chores...



:hugs Valerie   I wish I had wise words..

 

 

Morning mamas... it's a grey, dreary day here :)  Hope it actually rains finally.   Feeling a bit zonked.. woke up at 1am when lucas had a bad dream... again at 2 when he said he wasn't feeling well and dh found him in the lounge, watching cartoons and.. eating toast! LOL   Derrick was still up at 2, despite today being his usual day to work with daim irked.gif  I swear, I'm gonna have to shut that boys net off at night.   Either way, was a rather pathetic attempt at a night's sleep.

 

I'm trying to feel more in tune spiritually because with all the stress in my life, I surely need it!  So, this morning I've had a cleansing shower.. visualizing the stress and ICK washing away with the water down the drain.  I then sat where my TM is and spent a few moments focusing on that... then I lit my altar candles (one for a the neice of a friend who's seriously ill, one for Valeries mother to journey safely on, and one focusing on getting a JOB for me :)  Now I sit here, with a cuppa, worshipping the Goddess Caffienia hehehe
 

post #473 of 478
Thread Starter 

And for you to sub to for tomorrow love.gif   Here's the December thread!

post #474 of 478


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Post

that is what the al anon ladies told me.  :shrug

 

esp if you tell him all this stuff. it takes the responsinility off of him and puts it on you bc you feel responsible for his problem.

 

 

http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/aa052197.htm 

 

i am an enabler. everytime i get mad about his drinking or nag him or pay his fine or whatever. i am enabling him. i am new to this but when you talk about M it rings a bell with me and my relationship with my DH. except it is more serious health wise for M.

Off to go read your post. But-- I don't pay the fines or nag...I just get seriously upset because I fear so badly that I will lose him. That I am watching him die in front of my eyes. I don't get mad inasmuch as I get very, very sad. Also-- it's so frustrating because I know, I know first hand how very nearly impossible it is to stop. I do not want to lose him. I can't imagine what cruel joke the Universe is playing at, to get us back together only for me to watch him die.

post #475 of 478
Quote:
Originally Posted by CariOfOz View Post

Well that's because doctors are GOD .. geez didn't you know that???    Seriously though, doctors resent the internet in a lot of cases because it makes patients proactive and able to be more educated in their healthcare... MOST docs want a patient that will shut up, take their pill, and pay their bill.   My FIL had the same thing with his stomach condition years ago... about 10yrs actually... a family member who was net savvy helped him look up the symptoms and he read about this 'new' diagnosis that seemed very similar to his problem.  TOld the doc, who acted like he was a fool for reading on the net... but dad insisted he do the test.. lo & behold, positive for heliobacter pylori.  Which was exactly what dad read :lol  




all the other doctors were working with me but this one was just sooooo... ugh. and she kept saying "i am traditional" over and over. the one kept saying the want to do all the other tests first. i have to keep reminding myself they are fallible. lol. and to insist on what i want.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post


 

Off to go read your post. But-- I don't pay the fines or nag...I just get seriously upset because I fear so badly that I will lose him. That I am watching him die in front of my eyes. I don't get mad inasmuch as I get very, very sad. Also-- it's so frustrating because I know, I know first hand how very nearly impossible it is to stop. I do not want to lose him. I can't imagine what cruel joke the Universe is playing at, to get us back together only for me to watch him die.



that is good you dont nag him etc. i just wanted to remind you about co dependency. i used to be a meth addict. it is very different on the other side of the addiction. <<hugs>>.

post #476 of 478

weeheew! 64 posts to catch up on. not sure if i like that i know that or not, lol.

 

i'll try and come back later, though i'm not sure when i'll be able to grab dh's computer, alas! but i had to pop on and ask two quick questions while i had a chance!

 

i think there's a favorite elderberry syrup-- but i cant remember which one? any recs? 

 

also, does anyone have a fave recipe for a sort of medieval-esque meat pie? (beef, preferably, because i can get local, but i'll try pork, if anyone thinks that's better/more authentic!)

 

hugs and sunshine to all!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

post #477 of 478
Quote:
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Postthat is good you dont nag him etc. i just wanted to remind you about co dependency. i used to be a meth addict. it is very different on the other side of the addiction. <<hugs>>.


I've been on both sides, Lioness...sigh. It's hard either way. This sure is taking me back to when I knew I was an alkie, but didn't want anything to do with quitting yet. Honestly, I could deal with this so much easier if he didn't have an inflamed pancreas. This could go either way...I'm trying to practice acceptance and realize that I can't possibly predict the future. He could just as easily get sober, and be healthy, as die. I pray fervently, of course, for the former. And yes, we both know we're hopelessly co-dependent wink1.gif



Quote:
Originally Posted by aweynsayl View Posti think there's a favorite elderberry syrup-- but i cant remember which one? any recs? 

 

also, does anyone have a fave recipe for a sort of medieval-esque meat pie? (beef, preferably, because i can get local, but i'll try pork, if anyone thinks that's better/more authentic!)

 

I make my own elderberry syrup. It's not hard. Actually it's a tincture, but it's a glycerite so it is kind of syrupy.  Meat pie, no, but LMK when you find one! That sounds like a fab Yule meal!

post #478 of 478
Quote:
Originally Posted by aweynsayl View Post

weeheew! 64 posts to catch up on. not sure if i like that i know that or not, lol.

 

i'll try and come back later, though i'm not sure when i'll be able to grab dh's computer, alas! but i had to pop on and ask two quick questions while i had a chance!

 

i think there's a favorite elderberry syrup-- but i cant remember which one? any recs? 

 

also, does anyone have a fave recipe for a sort of medieval-esque meat pie? (beef, preferably, because i can get local, but i'll try pork, if anyone thinks that's better/more authentic!)

 

hugs and sunshine to all!

xoxoxoxoxoxo


i'll point to some links for elderberry syrup in the december thread.  meat pie... hrm.....  will ponder that and add to december.

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