What would you do differently?

[memz]

So I have been thinking about this for a while. My DD is 9 and half months and we are thinking about starting TTC in a couple of months and I've been wondering what I would do differently with my second babe....

I would still cosleep, nurse on demand, do BLW.....but I would like to do differently that she naps on me, but then again I don't know how I would of done it another way, I would want the other babe to be able to fall asleep without always the boob, I would want to be able to leave babe for a short while so that I can have 2 minutes to myself for sanity.....


I do think that it depends on the baby's personnality, so I don't know what I would of done differenlty to achieve this....

So what would you do differently and how?

[ann_of_loxley]

Having two babies with two very different personalties - I would say a lot really depends on that.

DS1 was the kind of baby happy to be down. When he was tired, he would just fall asleep - anywhere! lol DS2 on the other hand needs boob or the sling to fall asleep and is not happy to be put down! hehe

There was a lot of me thinking 'why can't you be like your brother who would just happily be put down and fall asleep so I can have a bloody shower?!' the first few weeks of his life - but then I reached acceptance! lmao He is such a happy and content baby though and now at a little over 6 months of age he can sit up unaided and is happy to do so for a few minutes as he likes to 'play'.

I actually wouldn't do anything differently with a third. With both of my sons, I simply listened to them and responded to their needs. The outcome was just different because they happen to be two different people. I would honsestly do more of the same - including the nice age gap.

You might get lucky and have an 'easier' baby the second time around. But actually - I wish DS1 was a bit more high needs. He was so laid back I felt I missed a bit of him actually. His baby days just flew right by! And whilst DS2 is a bit 'high needs' in comparison - I feel much more close and connected to him. But maybe his personality is also that of being a bit more open and connected with me as well? Who knows!

[SilverFish]

well, tzippy is only 8 months old, so what do i know? haha. i don't think i would do anything differently in terms of raising her. i would LOVE to get to be full-term and do all the baby preperations properly next time around. for some reason i really didn't want to shop for a new baby when i was pregnant (and was completely unprepared for an early arrival), this time i think i will really enjoy buying newborn diapers, clothing and supplies. i will probably try to make more of an effort to do baby sign language from the beginning... that is really the only thing i wish we'd done more of.

overall, i'm looking forward to being more prepared and relaxed this time! i don't think we're going to TTC any time soon though.

[P.J.]

This wasn't exactly your question, but I would have a photo shoot of me pregnant, and maybe make a plaster belly cast. I might also have a newborn photo shoot and make birth announcements, which we didn't to this time.

I also would try to start right from the beginning helping baby sleep without nursing. I nurse DS to sleep every time and it has made it harder for all the other family members who care for DS to get him to sleep when they're taking care of him.

There are probably other things but I can't think of them right now.

[akind1]

OP, in the same boat - thinking about #2. I would do the prego photo shoot, and I would diary when pregnant and try to the first year also (I have done none with DS and now I wish I had made the effort)

I think I would do co-sleeping again, but might try a sidecarred crib if I can. I want a video monitor! DS starts the night out in the crib and it would be nice to see if he is making noises while sleeping or if he is awake without disturbing him. most of the how we raise him things I would do again without question. I might start CD'ing earlier. We didn't start DS until he was 7 months.


I would either go visit people, or invite them over during the first 6 weeks. DS was a pretty laid back baby and I was BORED. (love that he was laid back, but mama had nothing to do!)

I will refuse to be induced unless it is actually medically necessary . . . most of my would do it differents have to do with pregnancy and birth.

[Shanesmom]

COngrats on TTC! how exciting!!

Even though my son is but 3 months old, I'm also TTC. Many things I wouldn't change.....natural homebirth, no vaccines, no circ......

One thing I plan on doing better is my diet while pregnant. I had hyperemis graviderm (sp?) and was sooo sick I couldn't eat well or take vitamins. This time around I will detox naturally, eat organic and load up on plant-based Omegas.

I also want to give cloth diapers a try. Otherwise I will still bedshare and breastfeed. I say stay in tune with your body and your new baby and keep the overall tone and mood in your house one that is full of love and peace

[JudiAU]

I would wait a bit longer, personally, so that you've at least made it to a year with nursing or at least made it to your personal goal. My supply plummets when I am pregnant and DS self-weaned early than I had planned.

With the second, I co-slept on purpose. Much easier on everyone. We also did cloth diapers which we will continue. So cheap, cute, and easy. I'd like to birth at home with our last and I don't want to find out the gender.

[ErinYay]

We've been TTC for ages, but no PP AF even, so...

With #2, I want to just be generally more relaxed! I think it'll be easier to just chill out, as pregnancy with a toddler seems like it will pass more quickly than pregnancy with no other kiddos. I'm extremely obsessive by nature, and pregnancy brought it out like crazy. It was especially not fun for DH, who bears the brunt of my information-gathering manias. (He did enjoy the days all my energy went into baking, though!)

I can't really think of anything major I'd like to do differently, parenting-style or philosophy-wise, though. Probably pump more, and give #2 a bottle more than 3 times ever, so DH can help with feedings, which he and V both really enjoyed the rare times we did it. (Mostly we all just got really lazy in our routine, and it was just so much easier to BF her when needed.)

[hakeber]

I haven't done anything too differently between the two, and I wouldn't change much, especially including waiting to TTC for #2 until DS was older. I really wanted to get to know my son and hear his proper voice and all the things he had to say, and he has so much to say!

I really love that he is such an engaged and involved big brother and that he was part of our decision to TTC #2. I also love that he can entertain himself while I take care of the baby, and he can actually help. I would be so overwhelmed with 2 under 2, I would probably not have made it through my second PPD without major interventions.

I would maybe try placenta therapy if I went through it again.

Originally Posted by P.J.

This wasn't exactly your question, but I would have a photo shoot of me pregnant, and maybe make a plaster belly cast. I might also have a newborn photo shoot and make birth announcements, which we didn't to this time.

I wish I had documented pregnancy 2 more. I was embarassed of my weight and self-conscious and in retrospect I feel really vain and stupid for not doing more of it.

I would definitely buy and keep a baby book for DD, as I did for DS and then just haven't for DD and I feel really guilty about it!

I will say that I thought all the tricks I had for DS that made him such a great baby were all going to be perfect for DD and boy oh boy was I wrong. They are such different babies. The biggest advice I can give is keep an open mind, because you might get a similar baby, but chances are you will in many ways be back to the drawing board figuring out those infant cries all over again.

Things we did do differently? Delayed Vaxed, Cloth diapered and ECed from day one (so much easier and now she holds out for the potty 80% of the time, and almost never poops herself. It' so much less messy in a potty. ) The Cloth diapers were an investment at first, but have proven to be such a good use of money.

[Adaline'sMama]

I would get pregnancy pictures made of myself and do a belly cast, just like PP. I would start earlier on trying to get the baby to sleep without nursing. I would have kept better track of exactly which days she did the "firsts" of everything. I am so bad at that.

[skyewriter]

I would get a maid. I mean to get one now (baby is 2 mo) but I love nursing to sleep, nursing on demand (there's another way?), co sleeping? -my 11yr old is still in!, and our house hold mantra "the baby is the boss!" (the older three love that as well, they're all ex bosses)

[lifeguard]

The only thing I would really do differently is try to stress less about screwing it all up - especially when it comes to sleep.

[braidmama]

Originally Posted by P.J.

This wasn't exactly your question, but I would have a photo shoot of me pregnant, and maybe make a plaster belly cast. I might also have a newborn photo shoot and make birth announcements, which we didn't to this time.

I also would try to start right from the beginning helping baby sleep without nursing. I nurse DS to sleep every time and it has made it harder for all the other family members who care for DS to get him to sleep when they're taking care of him.

There are probably other things but I can't think of them right now.

Ohh yes, everything she said there! I really wish I'd done the photos...we have absolutely not 1 photo of the 2 of us together(dp and I) while I was pregnant and even in the hospital there aren't any of us together...weird! We didn't realize til way later! Now I have insane stretch marks that make my tummy and thighs look totally engulfed in flames. And and awesome pooch that won't go away. So I don't know if I'd do this next time, myself.

Other things...well, its really specific to me here, but I tend to be (um...always) really stressed out about everything and really high-strung. Which doesn't make for a happy baby all of the time, and I feel bad about that. Next time around I am going to make sure I do relaxing things to keep calm, especially allowing a minute or two to myself without feeling guilty. We started taking Max out a lot right away because we didn't have a washer/dryer in our apartment and were always running out of food! So I'd definitely not be afraid to ask family for help next time. I didn't ask anyone for ANYTHING with Max. I felt like a lot of people weren't very considerate and I gave in because I felt guilty. Upon leaving the hospital (ds was in the nicu for 3 days after this), we went straight to print photos at Walgreens for family who requested them. Right. From. The. Hospital. I wish I would've put myself and dp first in this and went home and went straight to sleep! Sometimes i really wish I could rewind and take it all in slower...going by fast!

Good vibes and happy thoughts your way!