***Bitter Sushi Ladies November 2010 Thread*** - Page 2

[Laggie]

19 posts already?

I just noticed I'm in the "waiting" section... rcr, can you move me? And thank you for threadkeeping! oh and chartlink: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/23e515

I had my second IUI on Saturday, DP's sperm numbers were better, 800 000 sperm and 48% active so I'm hoping, hoping, hoping. Although the numbers on the form don't make sense to me, there are two different sections and in one spot the number of active sperm adds up to 18% but then in another section it says 48%. I don't know if the 48 is a typo but we'll just assume it's correct and hope for the best!

I'm feeling more like a biter lately, I've been really emotional and poor DP is getting the brunt of it. I hate how, when I get hormonal, I *know* I'm being unreasonable and yet I can't seem to snap out of it. All I can seem to do is start a fight with DP and then apologize. At least I'm getting to the apologies more quickly than I used to.

[Code Name Mama]

Originally Posted by miriam_bat_avraham

CD 10. I almost lost my Clomid last night! Well, actually, I *did* lose my Clomid, and then later I found it. Lying in the street. But it was in its little package, and I took it anyways. Ha! Take THAT, dignity.

Wednesday I have my ultrasound to look for follicles, bloodwork, etc etc etc ad nauseam. I am so tired of TTC. I don't care anymore. I'm just going to go through the motions this cycle and see if I can't get me a baby.

I would have NO problem taking it off the street, you go with your hipster self. And I feel the exact.same.way. anymore re: going through the motions.

Originally Posted by jenger

...and if anyone looked there, you'd find that today is cd1. Boo, scary. I have been spotting for a day or 2 (Never did without progesterone... it's like it takes awhile for it to drop enough for full flow..)

I should get the call this afternoon from the RE's office (which I have visited exactly once in June) to let me know if they will give me a clomid script. (I ovulated regularly on my own, so who knows...)

that they give you the Rx!! And for CD1

Originally Posted by jenger

I have this fabulous image of us a biters... Angry, 'barren' women, foaming at the mouth, ready to bite the next pregnant lady that flaunts her belly in front of us....

AFM: 10DPO, temp is steadily dropping, not happening this month. F it.

[Kyamo]

Thanks for the new thread, rcr.

Sorry about CD1 jenger.

Miriam, I would have PANICKED if I lost it. Could easily lose a cycle that way. Thank goodness you found it.

AFM - CD16, expecting to O any day now.

[scarletjane]

Can I join you ladies? I have been following you all for quite some time, but keep thinking it's going to happen for us and I haven't wanted to join and then promptly get pregnant (since I know exactly how hard that is to watch). Since I've been thinking that for months now, and i'm still not pregnant, I think it's time I finally speak up and introduce myself.

This thread and the TTC after loss forum are the only places I really read these days, as it's just so alienating seeing the rotating door elsewhere.

rcr, my blurb can be "Started trying Jan. 2009. Got pregnant, but lost our beautiful daughter (cause unknown) at 41 weeks in Jan 2010. Trying again since April 2010."

The above pretty much sums it up. We're not sure what happened with our daughter and all of the testing i've had done (fairly standard loss panel) has come back normal. On top of that, we're also not sure why i'm not getting pregnant again. Husband just had an s/a that came back normal. It took us 4 months last time and we're on our 8th month this time. It's been a rough year. But we're trying to stay optimistic.

I am rooting for every one of you. I've followed you all and feel the pain of each of your journeys. This is one rough road. Since we're all on it, my one solace here is that we can do it with a sense of community around us. Sending hugs to you all.

[Jane]

I'm so sorry about the loss of your daughter, scarletjane. Welcome to BSL. Short stay for you is okay with me, ok?

I'm cd10, BFN, and spotting. I haven't even changed out of my pajamas today. Bummmmmmmed.

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by rcr

Yea, that kind of stuff is proof that life is unfair.

That is one thing I am finally really learning, at 33. Life is not supposed to be fair, even if I want it to be.

At this point this is maybe the hardest thing for me: Some of the people who have the easiest time getting pregnant are also the ones I think cannot handle many kids to begin with. I just cannot get it... Sometimes I have tried to think that they are the ones that most need to learn things through having their children. (How to be gentle and loving...) Meanwhile, I want to think there is something good in this for me. Some days it is just really hard to find. I am trying to learn to let go of my wants in this matter.

CD 13 here... some fertile (but crappy) mucus. I am taking it easy this cycle. I can get the same result with less and all that, so I am not going to obsess. I did start maca, though, on top of soy. I will soon have nothing more I can think to take and I am not any closer to any answers.

Dh is considering spending the summer where he grew up. It would be great in many ways. However, if I need to live in his parents house for weeks or months, goodbye TTC as I am going to abstain during that time. I am also not looking forward to seeing the relative with two babies. I am happy for them but really do not need to spend time with them. How's that for a recipe for not a good summer...

[Sweet.Bee]

scarletjane, I remember you from the ONE. Sorry it hasn't happened for you yet. I drifted over here for the same reason. I was reluctant to join, too, because maybe it was just bad luck that I'm not pregnant yet, and I didn't want to upset anyone if it happened shortly afterward. But I just can't read most of the threads anymore. People are nice, but it's just so hard to see everyone get pregnant so easily. Anyways, hope you get pregnant soon!

Apricot, sorry.

LessTraveledBy, that sounds like a difficult situation, especially with the relatives with babies. And often family members ask when you'll have another one. My husband's mother has already asked us, and our son is only 18 months. Of course, they don't know we've been trying without luck for awhile.

***

My chart is looking so yum right now. But I won't get my hopes up. Well, too late for that, I guess. Every cycle it's something new: "implantation" dip, more tired, very hungry, not hungry at all. . . you'd think I would have learned by now.

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee

And often family members ask when you'll have another one. My husband's mother has already asked us, and our son is only 18 months. Of course, they don't know we've been trying without luck for awhile.

Luckily for us (well, in a sense), it has been so long that relatives don't ask anymore. I also think that MIL has probably made it clear even to the less bright ones that there is something wrong with my body. Also, our dd is so old (5.5) that I don't think anyone would try to tell us something dumb like "sometimes it just takes some time."

However, dh's relatives don't seem to get it that I am not interested in every little detail about other relatives' babies. I don't really blame them: I have always loved kids, so normally I would be interested. It is just that I am in too much pain to want to hear these things all the time, esp. as all these kids and their younger siblings are years younger than our dd. It also seems that some relatives are really looking forward to dd playing with these toddlers/babies. It feels so fake to "play the happy, big family game" when we are not in any contact with these families, normally. (My dh tried to stay in touch but got tired of always needing to be the one to call.) On top of everything else, if we take the trip, I am pretty sure these families (or at least one) will be made to feel like they MUST travel to come see us. I just want to tell them to feel free not to come, as it is a lot of time and money for them and.. well... as I said, we don't stay in touch otherwise, anyway. (And if they CIO, I might hit someone.... How's that for a not succesful game of happy family? ha ha.)

Anyway.... Good luck, everyone in the TWW!

[rcr]

Welcome Scarletjane. I don't mind if you get knocked up right away and leave us. Do you have a chart that you want me to add?

Sorry Apricot

[jenger]

Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy

That is one thing I am finally really learning, at 33. Life is not supposed to be fair, even if I want it to be.

Yep - Still learning that too, at 35...

So, I got the script... (My small-town pharmacy doesn't have any... Our town is a lovely, lovely place, but it's a tourist town full of retirees, who don't need clomid. It should be there today, however. And I don't take it 'til Friday.)

IF I take it that is. I need to be making a baby WITH my husband, and he is not sure he's ready to go the pharmaceutical route. I totally get it, as I (ahem, used to be) am like that too. On the other hand, it could help, and we could conceive the kid we've been trying for 16 dang cycles to conceive! I'll keep you updated.

Welcome ScarletJane. What a journey. I hope your stay is short, and you enjoy us while you are here.

My family all knows were having trouble, but no asking there. But everyone else!! Get this: I was getting a pedicure, to sooth my almost CD1 soul (last Friday) and the pedicure-ist (she's from Vietnam, and we have a daughter the same age... so we usually talk about parenting, though it can be a little less relaxing, as I have to work to understand) Anyway, she was asking about another kid, insisting she knew how I could have a boy. (She very vaguely described Shettles). It was painful. I get asked about every other day, it seems...

Apricot

[lavatea]

I don't get asked much. We have two, and my family seems to think that that's more than plenty. If I ever mention wanting more they tell me to wait or ask why I would want more, etc. And after my losses they tell me I'm trying too soon and need to wait longer. They don't understand the insane need to have a baby.now.

So, can someone explain FF to me. It moved my ovulation back by 2 days. Which is annoying to me, even if it changed our BD pattern to "high" from "good". I want to be 5 DPO not 3. I don't use OPKs, so I don't have anything other than temps and cervix checks to cross check their analysis with.

I think I'm going to continue pretending I'm 5 DPO. Makes me feel better.

[rcr]

Originally Posted by lavatea

So, can someone explain FF to me. It moved my ovulation back by 2 days. Which is annoying to me, even if it changed our BD pattern to "high" from "good". I want to be 5 DPO not 3. I don't use OPKs, so I don't have anything other than temps and cervix checks to cross check their analysis with.

I think I'm going to continue pretending I'm 5 DPO. Makes me feel better.

5 dpo looks about right to me too.

[jenger]

Originally Posted by lavatea

I don't get asked much. We have two, and my family seems to think that that's more than plenty. If I ever mention wanting more they tell me to wait or ask why I would want more, etc. And after my losses they tell me I'm trying too soon and need to wait longer. They don't understand the insane need to have a baby.now.

So, can someone explain FF to me. It moved my ovulation back by 2 days. Which is annoying to me, even if it changed our BD pattern to "high" from "good". I want to be 5 DPO not 3. I don't use OPKs, so I don't have anything other than temps and cervix checks to cross check their analysis with.

I think I'm going to continue pretending I'm 5 DPO. Makes me feel better.

I bet if you removed the HSO (just left cervical data empty) from cd15, they'd move it back...

[lavatea]

Originally Posted by jenger

I bet if you removed the HSO (just left cervical data empty) from cd15, they'd move it back...

Yep, that worked! Thanks.

[jenger]

Originally Posted by lavatea

Yep, that worked! Thanks.

Sure thing!

Gaaawwwd, I wish I didn't know how to manipulate fertility friend! (Umm, 'cause that would mean I haven't spent 16 cycles messing with it...)

[scarletjane]

Thanks for the welcome, guys.

and thank you, rcr, here is my chart

sweet bee. I remember you too! I was just chart-lurking and that is one good lookin' chart. I've got my fingers crossed for you.

thinking of the rest of you too.

Hey, what do you all think of soy isoflavones? I'm not usually one to just pop a supplement, but from what i've been reading it may be worth a try for me. I had low estradiol levels the last time i tested (back in the spring via saliva testing) and i definitely have less EWCM than I once did. I've read that it is thought to act similarly to Clomid (which I know can help with a short LP- and mine's been all over the place as far as length plus some spotting). Any thoughts?
oh, and Apricot, your explanation (was it a hypothesis?) a while back on why Clomid helps with progesterone was fascinating. I thought the reason was unknown, but that certainly makes sense. thanks for sharing that!

[rcr]

Originally Posted by scarletjane

Hey, what do you all think of soy isoflavones? I'm not usually one to just pop a supplement, but from what i've been reading it may be worth a try for me. I had low estradiol levels the last time i tested (back in the spring via saliva testing) and i definitely have less EWCM than I once did. I've read that it is thought to act similarly to Clomid (which I know can help with a short LP- and mine's been all over the place as far as length plus some spotting). Any thoughts?
oh, and Apricot, your explanation (was it a hypothesis?) a while back on why Clomid helps with progesterone was fascinating. I thought the reason was unknown, but that certainly makes sense. thanks for sharing that!

I took soy for two months - got pregnant the second month that I was on it (m/c). Not sure if it was a coincidence or not, but I am planning to do it again (I did it this month).

[Sweet.Bee]

scarletjane, I'm thinking of trying soy next cycle if this one doesn't work out. I have a late O and hope it will move it up a bit. I asked my doctor for clomid, and he won't prescribe it because I already O each month, even if it is much later than I used to. When I asked about soy, he said I could try it if I wanted but didn't think it would do anything. But there are all these stories where people got pregnant taking it, so it's worth a shot, I think.

And I am excited about my chart. I really shouldn't be setting myself up for the drop, but I just can't help myself. I am being pathetic. I'm even feeling kind of pregnant, whatever that means. Like I could even feel anything yet. I'm somewhere between 8-10DPO, I think.

[LessTraveledBy]

For a short luteal phase, B6 is def. the thing to take. Unless there are different reasons and that only works for some... who knows. Sure works for me, although I have no BFP to prove it does anything other than lengthen my LP.

This is my 2nd cycle on soy. I o'ed 1 day earlier than normal last cycle but that is all it did. I am taking a bit more this cycle but it is really not looking good. I have had a lack of cm for years now, which is probably part of why I am here. Unfortunately it all seems to be too complicated, so I have not been able to figure out what all might be wrong.

I am thinking about taking progesterone this cycle, after o. I figure it cannot really make the outcome any worse than it already is. If we ever end up having another child, I don't think I will have any idea what made the pregnancy possible as I have done so many different things. But hey, it is nicer to at least try something than to do nothing... More of the same has not worked, so maybe something new will.

[Kyamo]

lavatea - I agree with what FF is saying now, CD14.

scarletane* - Welcome, I remember you from the One as well.

AFM - Temp is up this morning, probably Oed yesterday. Can relax now!

*Sorry for misspelling your name, it appears a certain letter between i and k is not working on my keyboard!! GRRRR! I will disassemble it after I post this.