feeling so sad aobut my 5yo now, i dont think he has any friends

[contactmaya]

My 5yo is a total extravert. At 13mths, he was engaging others in play, he never did the parallel play thing. At playgrounds, he was always the kid that made friends. He just loves his friends, he gets so excited about his peers. He know all the kids' names in his class, and likes writing their names at home.

Now he's 5 though, and going to kindergarten. He' s the only new kid in the class, and one of the youngest.

I ask him what he does in the park during his break....he plays by himself.

He loved one kid in particular, and called him his best friend. Then days later, he woke up crying several times in the night, 2 days in row, saying his friend wouldnt talk to him anymore.

Theres a couple of others we knew outside the school. I asked him if he plays with them, no. They dont play with me, he says.

We bumped into the child (his 'best friend') in the playground. My son was so excited, but the other kid was indifferent. My son followed him (playing follow the leader), but other kid just left him behind. I saw my ds wipe away a couple of tears, as he went off in the other direction, giving up.

I see photos from the school-ds is always at the back. I feel like he's being ignored.

It just makes me want to cry.

[cowboyjunki]

I'm so sorry I've been through similar times with my 6 year old (who is also in K). My son was switched to a new class after 3 weeks of school and had a hard time at first making friends. It turned out that he didn't want to make friends with the kids at his table because they were always in trouble. So the teacher switched his table and that seemed to have solved the problem.

One piece of advice my sister gave me is to not let your son see your concern. As much as I hate for her to be right, I realized that I was asking very eagerly each day if he had made any friends. I think it probably made him feel worse. Now I try to ask questions about what activities he did that day, rather than who he played with.

Have you asked his teacher if he has any friends? I know my son tends to exaggerate sometimes so it's hard to get a clear picture of what's going on.

Hang in there mama.......I know it's so hard to see our children struggling, but with such a concerned parent, I know he will do fine!

[jeteaa]

my 6 yr old dd said the other day "none of my friends will play with me". The truth was that she only wanted to play on the slide and her friends wanted to swing.... I told her if what she wants is to play with her friends more than the slide then sometimes she should just play what they want to play... my advice went way over her head... at this young age they are still very "me" centered and I don't think they are really able to have true friendships. If you feel your son is a true extrovert and he needs to interact w/ people to feel happy and energized, i would think this is a good time to teach him skills so that he can also self entertain or he may end up being too draining on people as he grows.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

My DD had similar issues a month ago when she started kindergarten. I mentioned it to the teacher during open house, and the teacher very kindly paired her up with another little girl thinking that might work - and it did. She also moved the other little girl to my DD's table.

Its worth mentioning it to the teacher, I think. The teacher might have a better feel for what a good match might be for your son and help make it happen, possibly.

[AllisonR]

Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie

Its worth mentioning it to the teacher, I think. The teacher might have a better feel for what a good match might be for your son and help make it happen, possibly.

ITA- teachers know who is grouping with whom and can really help. Ask sooner, rather than later. FWIW, DS started 0 class this year, 2 classes of 25 kids in each. Except for the first 8 weeks, they split them in 3 color coded groups instead, and then mixed them up every two weeks. The teachers did this so they could see who got along with whom, and maybe just as important, whom should be separated from whom. The kids loved it. Then after the 8 weeks, they decided on the final two classes, and had a party.