What could be going on? Non-verbal/very social

[fizgig]

Hi mamas, I'm hoping someone here can help me figure out what is going on with my DS.

He is 21 months, completely non-verbal. He has 2 signs (more and hungry) though we've been working on it for a while, no animal sounds, no real words, exactly 2 consistent "beginnings of words" - muamua for milk and didi for video, sigh. He is way behind all the other kids we play with that are his age, many of whom are naming colors and using short sentences.

The other issue is receptive language. Everyone I've mentioned this to says "well as long as his receptive language is normal don't worry". Well its not, and I'm freaking out when people keep saying that. He seems to know when we are trying to communicate something specific but he still doesn't really understand what we're saying most of the time. With gesture he can sometime get a one step command (get the ball) but without pointing at the ball he won't understand.

At first we thought maybe austism because I see other sensory issues (not cuddly, very picky eater, serious trouble sleeping, no tight clothes, transitions very hard) but he has recently blossomed socially. He imitates gesture, points, social smiles at everyone, etc. So now we're totally stumped and I'm starting to really worry that there is something medical going on that we're missing.

We had the EI folks come out and they offered to do speech therapy but we declined figuring that we were doing just about everything they would already (according to my research). Mistake maybe?

We've had his eye and hearing checked - both fine. He had severe reflux as an infant but grew out of it by 11 months. He still has a million food intolerances (dairy, citrus, nuts, eggs, etc). Despite this, he is usually happy, very physically active, wonderful in every way.

Please help me figure this out! Is he just a little delayed and I shouldn't worry yet? Should I worry about vitamin/mineral deficiencies (he's still 95% bf and we give no multi-vitamins)? What else could possibly be going on? My gut says there is a problem but I don't know what to do at this point.

I really would appreciate any thoughts or previous experiences!

[NataliaI]

It sounds like you definitely have something going on. What is always trickier to answer.

When you say that he is 95% BF, do you mean that he is not eating any other food?

Muliti-vitamins may be needed but can also be problematic since almost all vitamins are synthetic and isolated. This can throw the body off balance.

Not all autistic kids have the same kinds of social issues. From what you describe, I think an autism evaluation might be warranted if you want to receive services. I would work with a speech therapist. His language is very seriously delayed from your description.

None of these signs are reasons for distress -- but they do require attention. I would consider evaluations through your school district (unless you do not plan to send him to school), a consultation with a homeopath to help him with the sensitivity, speech and eating challenges.

[LynnS6]

It does sound like his language is delayed. The good news from your post is that it also sounds like he's started to do some of the precursors to language -- pointing and imitating gestures.

If it were my child, I would call EI back and have them come to do speech therapy. Speech therapy ideally should work with the family. Yes, you will be doing the bulk of the 'work', but they can break down the skills that he's having a hard time with into manageable bits for him, and perhaps figure out what precursor skills he's missing. For example, if he can't articulate sounds, it doesn't make sense to work on naming things. Or probably closer to the mark -- can he follow your eye gaze? So if you're looking at something, will he look at what you're looking at? This turns out to be an important precursor to conversational language, yet most parents are obviously unaware of it.

Because he has so few words and comprehension seems to be a struggle for him, I'd also consider having him checked by a developmental pediatrician. Sometimes they can catch patterns of issues that might be missed by others. The bad news is that there's often a long wait to get in to see them.

hang in there momma, it's hard to see your child struggle.

[RemiJP]

It is definitely possible that EI will only provide you and your son with information/strategies you already know. But it's worth it for him to receive speech therapy for a few reasons: 1) they might actually be able to show you some new stuff that you haven't heard of/read before 2) if he needs services in preschool or kindergarten they can ease this transition and provide his school team with information about his progress as a toddler, 3) they can give you further insight about whether or not you should find out if something medically might be wrong, 4) if that's the case, they should know exactly who to refer you to!

In my opinion (full disclosure: I'm an SLP), EI is a really good idea for any family who is concerned about their child's development, even if the only reason is to have another set of eyes looking out for the child during those critical years.