Quote:
Originally Posted by
mommariffic 
First: I am not trying to be offensive, I am genuinely curious!
I love the idea of a large family [like 5 kids!] but having 2 drives me crazy..how do you find time for yourself in a large family? How do you afford it? How do you manage getting out of the house?
Just, basic logistics I guess of having a huge family. A pro/con list if you don't mind : ) I'm really curious and love reading the large family posts here and had to make my own!
I have five kids. It doesn't really seem like that many (most of the time!) to me now. I do kind of laugh about it every once in a while because I never really thought I would have five kids I guess and when I see people I haven't seen in a while they are always shocked that I have 5.
Time to myself.. I changed my definition of "to myself" a long time ago. My children are 20-23 months apart, so I have never really not had a baby that still needed mommy all of the time for more than maybe a few weeks. So time to myself is like right now. The baby is nursing/sleeping in the wrap. My oldest two are straightening up the living room and playroom. My younger two were playing together until just a second ago, now my 4yo is playing alone and my 2yo is on my lap nursing. But I'm on the computer and this is very much time to myself. When I don't have a car-hating baby an easy way to get time to myself is to put everyone in the car with the DVD player and go through the Starbucks drive thru and take the long way home. Everyone is typically quiet and happy and I have a delicious coffee beverage and I can listen to NPR or whatever.
My dh makes enough money for us to live very comfortably. But neither of us brought any debt to the marriage, we have very little debt (car payment) and I think that makes a huge difference. We don't generally buy things we can't pay cash for, though we did finance my car. We bought good quality furniture as money allowed over time so we've kept the same stuff for many years and it's held up. We were lucky, though, that my grandparents bought our furniture for our first home so we didn't have to start from scratch.
Getting out of the house is not a huge deal. My oldest two can get themselves buckled completely. My 4yo can get his top buckled and one side of his bottom buckled so I don't have to do a lot for him. My 2yo can get in her seat but typically bypasses it completely for my seat so I do generally put her in her seat or at least supervise closely. Once we actually get where we're going I am pretty strict about behavior because I have to be. I can't let my 2yo run around the store and we can't stop and look at every little thing that everyone wants to look at. Grocery shopping and the like I typically wear the baby and my 2yo. Sometimes my 2yo rides in the cart but she often tries to climb out so it's easier for her to ride on my back and she usually prefers that anyway. My older kids walk beside the cart or immediately behind me. If they are having trouble doing that they have to put a hand on the cart. We have assigned places on the cart/stroller, which seems silly but really helps. There is no fussing about who gets to walk on what side or anyone stepping on someone else's shoes or (the worst!) breathing too closely/loud. We discuss expectations before getting out of the car. We discuss what we are doing before we even get in the car. If someone is having trouble acting the way they need to act when out in public (being respectful of me/the other kids/employees/other patrons, being safe) we leave. We come back later in the day or another day if it is a necessary thing. It doesn't happen often. Sometimes if we have to do something that is potentially really difficult, we go do something fun after we're done if everyone was able to be respectful and helpful. Yesterday we went clothes shopping for me. This is obviously not fun for anyone. So I said we would go to Burger King when we were done. Things may have gone just as well without the incentive but I think they deserved it. :)
I love having five kids. My kids love each other and there's always someone to play with. My kids all adore their younger siblings (for the most part!) and look up to the older ones. My kids definitely do a lot of things that their friends of similar ages don't/"can't"/aren't allowed to do. My 5 and 7yos frequently make eggs for everyone for breakfast. They love it. So do I. :) My kids do pretty much all of the pickup around the house. I joke that my two oldest could probably move into their own apartment and be just fine if I would drive them to the grocery store every once in a while. I don't ask my older kids to do much care for their younger siblings, though they frequently help them with things just because they see the need. Everyone wants to sit and entertain the baby (2 months) while I take a shower, My 5yo almost always unbuckles my 4yo when it's time to get out of the car. It's really lovely to watch them interact. They fight sometimes (generally only with their closest in age sibling(s) though) but they have a lot of fun and I can't imagine life without them. I think *being a mother* was harder when I only had two children, because I also only had 2 years of parenting experience and obviously parenting a 7yo, 5yo, 4yo, 2yo and 2mo is a lot different than parenting say, three 2yos and two infants. So it's hard to compare or see how it will be when you only have the experience of parenting an infant and toddler. It has taken me close to three hours to write this. 
It's always funny to see how long it can take to do something very simple.
