Child has....

[Jyotsna]

My son has a bruise on either side on his nose, where his glasses pads rest. His nose is swollen slightly, and he has a cut in his pants, and a cut on his knee. This is how I found him yesterday. He says he got the cut on his knee at a party on Saturday night. No one at the party dressed his cut (it was big enough to bleed all over his pants, and it requires a large pad to cover it. His father poured alcohol over it and put a bandage on it. When my son got home with me, it was oozing pus. This was 24 hours after the cut happened. It had dirt on it. I washed it with soap and water and put neosporin on it, then a pad.

His father and he have fist fights, and my son hasn't told me that anything happened. He wants to be with his dad eow, and I am thinking his dad may have caused this. What should I do?

[doubledutch]

is he still going to therapy? would he talk to his therapist/counselor about it? for sure take pictures of his face and his knee, even if he won't talk about it right now.

is he a teenager? is there any chance that his dad allowed him to get drunk at this party, and that's why he doesn't want to tell you?

[Jyotsna]

No chance that he got drunk. It was a church youth group party with adults in attendance, and his father doesn't drink alcohol.

[chaoticzenmom]

Would he let you take pictures of it? Maybe you can hold onto pictures and see if later, your son will admit to what happened. You'd have the evidence on file.

Have you directly asked him if his father did this?

[doubledutch]

can you talk to other adults who were at the party to try to find out what happened?

[lilyka]

Is he giving you any story of how it happened? How old is your son again? Sometimes these thing do just happen. I am terribly clumsy and am constantly banging myself up and leaving bruises everywhere.

[One_Girl]

Is it still oozing pus? I suggest you check frequently. I have known two people who had a dirty wound get an infection that spread within 24 hours to a dangerous point. If you think it may be infected I suggest taking him to the ER. If not I suggest you still have it checked out at his doctor's. When you call to make the appointment I think you should tell them your suspicion and ask them to put a note on the chart to have the doctor probe deeply into what happened and let him go in the room alone. If you wind up in the ER you may be able to mention your concern to the nurse in the hallway while you pretend to need to use the restroom and leave the room. They should have you leave while they ask him questions about what happened because they often do that in cases of suspected abuse. If you can call the youth group people first to check the story that would be a good idea though.

[meemee]

oh shoot jyotsna. this is treading very thin ice.

and the person to be hurt is ds.

keep detailed notes. and pictures if you havent. yeah and investigate as much as you can and find out.

and let it go this time. not for ex. but for your son.

there could be an valid explanation. perhaps.

obviously he doesnt want to stop yet. he doesnt want to give up on his dad yet. what you have to keep in focus is that he doesnt start getting the 'abusive empathy' (the term i am looking for here is when the girl sided with the terrorists who kindnapped her and its now a famous term) and keeps on waiting for dad to stop whatever he is doing. give it a chance or two and then step in.

perhaps while you are researching what your options are that time will pass.

however what is it? any marks on body could be seen as proof. you made trades at the police station. perhaps keep an eye on bruises and bring it up right there with ds. not involving ex.

[Jyotsna]

His story is that he was at a Halloween party (with teens) and he tripped over a branch. Like somone suggested, it could actually be what happened.
But with the added bruises on his nose, and the nose being slightly swollen, with a blue mark on the top of his nose, I'm a little concerned.

[Jyotsna]

Oh, and his knee is still oozing. it's got the crystalization of the oozing blood and pus, so it's really shiny and stinky. We will see the doctor tomarrow morning if it isn't better. Will asked the dr to question. Thanks for your thoughts.

[haydn'smommy]

Originally Posted by Jyotsna

Oh, and his knee is still oozing. it's got the crystalization of the oozing blood and pus, so it's really shiny and stinky. We will see the doctor tomarrow morning if it isn't better. Will asked the dr to question. Thanks for your thoughts.

Just a thought here. If you tell the doctor that you suspect that your ex did this to your child, he has a legal responsibility to report it to children's services. You could be opening a giant can of worms.

[Momtwice]

Originally Posted by meemee

'abusive empathy' (the term i am looking for here is when the girl sided with the terrorists who kidnapped her and its now a famous term)

Patty Hearst/Stockholm syndrome?

[meemee]

Originally Posted by Momtwice

Patty Hearst/Stockholm syndrome?

THANK YOU!!!! yup that's it. i did all sorts of searches on google - but with the present condition those words never came up.

[doubledutch]

Originally Posted by haydn'smommy

Just a thought here. If you tell the doctor that you suspect that your ex did this to your child, he has a legal responsibility to report it to children's services. You could be opening a giant can of worms.

even though, in this particular case, she only suspects that her ex did this, she knows he abuses her son. she says in her op that they have fist fights. meaning, his dad punches him.

[MissLotus]

Originally Posted by haydn'smommy

Just a thought here. If you tell the doctor that you suspect that your ex did this to your child, he has a legal responsibility to report it to children's services. You could be opening a giant can of worms.

I hope the doctor does report it. Someone has to do something.