Just put some friggin clothes on - Page 2

[Norasmomma]

Originally Posted by jeminijad

I don't think it is a "hang up."

Taking off your clothes and then complaining that you are cold... it is not unreasonable to work to change this situation, or ask for advice on how to do so.

Thanks that's how I feel too.

I think the reason it is bugging me so much is the other day I had a friend over who was getting her hair cut, DD stripped in the living room after I had specifically said to leave her clothes on because we had a guest. Then she struts in with no pants She also uses the excuse "her belly needs some air" because her brother often gets to have no pants on for a bit so he can air out from his diaper, now I get that, BUT when I put his clothes back on she often claims some reason to be naked then fight with me about wearing clothes.

[weezix]

Here's what we do in our house.
The kids need to wear panties or bottoms. I usually let this slide because it doesn't bother me but bother DH and I forget to tell the kids before he gets home to put panties on, so I try and get them to wear them all day but if they don't - no biggie, but they need to put them on before DH gets home from work.

I also make them wear undies if they are being inappropriate with touching or playing with toys (my kids are really touchy and THAT bothers me). I ask them that if they feel they need to touch then they can do it in their bedroom by themselves.

When we have company over, they must wear panties and a shirt of some sort.

If they are cold, my kids are really good about blankets or anything soft feeling. They love housecoats and curling up in blankets so that's not an issue. If they complain they are cold I just explain that wearing clothes would make them warmer and try to ignore the whining. I also find with DD who is 3 that if I suggest she put clothes on and keeps whining, I'll often offer to help her put some clothes on. Sometimes I think she just gets overwhelming having to do it by herself.

[heathenmom]

My 3 y/o is constantly naked. I don't really care, but it bothers dh and the rest of my family (we live next door to my bro/sil & my parents) so I try to at least keep panties on her. Mostly I'm unsuccessful. She's shown up at my parents' so many times without underwear on that my dad now makes comments about her growing up to be a Playboy model. I can't really say anything ... hubby and I had already discussed the likelihood of her career as a stripper. That, or a UFC fighter. She marches to the beat of her own drum, that one.

I really like the idea of a bathrobe that she could put on quickly if company drops by. Thanks to the poster who suggested that!

[DaughterOfKali]

I'll start by saying that my son has sensory issues. He would rather be nakey all the time. However, I've gotten to the point where there are a few rules.

1. If we have company, he needs to have a shirt and pants/shorts on.

2. If we don't have company, he can be nakey in his room.
If he doesn't want to be in his room, he can only be nakey for 10 minutes. Then he needs to at least put a shirt and underpants on.

[OkiMom]

My daughter is like this as well a lot of the time. As soon as she gets up in the morning she is trying to take off her PJs, I get her dressed, it comes off, I get her dressed etc.. Then she complains its cold.. ALL THE TIME.. Only time she doesn't is if the ACs are off but then the rest of us (DH, DD2 and myself) are hot and sweating, I don't think its reasonable to make everyone else miserable so she doesn't' have to wear clothes.
So, here is what I'm trying for her:
- Bedtimes she has to wear clothes. She likes to cuddle with Daddy and he doesn't like her cuddling without clothing on so no clothes=no cuddles or walks at night.
- Meal times she has to wear clothes, I don't want to see her naked bottom at the dining room table.
- If people are over, coming over, stopping by for a minute etc she has to wear clothes.
- She can wear just undies if she wants to but as soon as she complains she is cold she has to put on clothes.
- If everyone else is hot I'm not turning off the ACs because she is cold, she needs to put clothing on.
- If she wants to go outside, even onto the balcony, she has to be clothed. If we are in the car, at the store, at the library etc she HAS to keep her clothing on. yea, shes stripped at the store before.
- If she is sick, running a fever or just recovered from being sick, she has to wear clothing.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom

no its not because as per the op the "whining cause she is cold" is only part of it.

But it's a sign that her dd isn't totally happy with being naked.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Norasmomma

Part of the issue is the complaining about being cold, if you are cold you probably need something to keep you warm-like clothes, a blanket, something. She also will strip her shoes and socks in the library. She has blankets, a robe, lots of comfy stuff.....I get super frustrated because I will want to go outside or do something and then she's naked, AGAIN Then the battle to put clothing on comes up, I also hate picking up her clothes as she's strewn them from room to room.

How much warning do you give that it's going to be time to leave? What kind of results to you get with "we'll be going to XYZ in 15 minutes, get dressed now"? And then picking her clothes for her at the 8 minute mark and putting them on her at the 5 minute mark (if she hasn't already started) "I see you need help with your clothes, not a problem!"

As for scattered clothes, try reminding her as she takes them off and take away toys until the clothes are picked up until it's a habit. "Oops, you still haven't taken your clothes to your basket yet, this'll be waiting for you when you're done."

[Youngfrankenstein]

Originally Posted by Norasmomma

I guess I'm the weirdo who wants her to have clothes on, sorry I asked.

No, you're not. I wouldn't allow the kids to walk around naked or in their undies all the time. I think you've been patient not to freak out about it but enough can be enough sometimes. Would she be happier in dresses or something? Maybe she likes the "free flow" of air?

[HollyBearsMom]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

But it's a sign that her dd isn't totally happy with being naked.

Which again leads to me sensory issues.

She wants her clothes off for a reason. Sensory kids, even kids with minor sensory issues, often don’t know *why* their clothes bother them they just know they don't want them on their body. When asked why they took them off they might not say it’s because they bother them, are tight/scratch/itch/pull/etc. They might even say their clothes are fine even comfy. Yet they take them off anyway and feel better and then get cold. But even cold they know they don't want to put their clothes back on.

The same way they can't explain why the take their shoes off in the car, at the library, on the playground. It’s just feels better to them, they want their feet "free" but don't know how to explain that.

The OP's situation sounds like her child might have some sensory issues since not matter what the OP does the kid ends up naked and/or with her shoes off. If she can't stand her kid being naked all the time and nothing she is doing is working then why not look beyond they fact it is annoying to her and try to get to the root of the issue. She needs to find somethign that works for all members of her family.

[Norasmomma]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

How much warning do you give that it's going to be time to leave? What kind of results to you get with "we'll be going to XYZ in 15 minutes, get dressed now"? And then picking her clothes for her at the 8 minute mark and putting them on her at the 5 minute mark (if she hasn't already started) "I see you need help with your clothes, not a problem!"

As for scattered clothes, try reminding her as she takes them off and take away toys until the clothes are picked up until it's a habit. "Oops, you still haven't taken your clothes to your basket yet, this'll be waiting for you when you're done."

She usually has a set time, but then I'll be helping her brother and BAM she's naked or her shoes are off again.

Most of the time I use a timer to help keep her on track, she's a pretty spirited little girl so focus sometimes just isn't her "thing". I always help her with getting dressed because many times she'll ask me to help, today though she did it mostly by herself, and stayed dressed. I have no idea why it wasn't a battle today.

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom

Which again leads to me sensory issues.

She wants her clothes off for a reason. Sensory kids, even kids with minor sensory issues, often don’t know *why* their clothes bother them they just know they don't want them on their body. When asked why they took them off they might not say it’s because they bother them, are tight/scratch/itch/pull/etc. They might even say their clothes are fine even comfy. Yet they take them off anyway and feel better and then get cold. But even cold they know they don't want to put their clothes back on.

The same way they can't explain why the take their shoes off in the car, at the library, on the playground. It’s just feels better to them, they want their feet "free" but don't know how to explain that.

The OP's situation sounds like her child might have some sensory issues since not matter what the OP does the kid ends up naked and/or with her shoes off. If she can't stand her kid being naked all the time and nothing she is doing is working then why not look beyond they fact it is annoying to her and try to get to the root of the issue. She needs to find somethign that works for all members of her family.

I have read about sensory issues, most of which do not pertain to her behavior. Really with her I think she does it because it gives her a sense of control over herself. She is extremely spirited and extroverted, for her this is more about being able to do her own thing.

She wears scratchy tu-tus and princess dresses all.day.long. those don't seem to bother her, so I guess the sensory thing just doesn't make sense. Honestly I think it's more because she knows it bugs the crap outta me sometimes, the kid is a button pusher and always has been.

[heathenmom]

LOL, she sounds SO much like my youngest. All I can do is commiserate. The costumes that are the only thing she'll voluntarily keep on for longer than 5 minutes are all FILTHY (since she wears them to play outside in the dirt); they're off-limits until I can wash them and the last couple days have been awful. Guess I should do some laundry, huh?

[HollyBearsMom]

SHe is 4 right? I guess I don't see how a 4 year old can be a "button pusher" even a spirited extroverted one

If you don't believe it is sensory (though even a sensory kid will put up with some negative input if its is fun like a costume) then maybe it is a manifestion of her need for more attention.

She wants/needs more of your time and to a 4 year old any attention, even negative attention, can answer that desire. At 4 she isn't doing it to get you frustrated/push your buttons. She just internalizes that "mom pays attention when I get naked" so naked = mom pays attention to me.


just a thought....

[Norasmomma]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom

SHe is 4 right? I guess I don't see how a 4 year old can be a "button pusher" even a spirited extroverted one

If you don't believe it is sensory (though even a sensory kid will put up with some negative input if its is fun like a costume) then maybe it is a manifestion of her need for more attention.

She wants/needs more of your time and to a 4 year old any attention, even negative attention, can answer that desire. At 4 she isn't doing it to get you frustrated/push your buttons. She just internalizes that "mom pays attention when I get naked" so naked = mom pays attention to me.


just a thought....

No offense, but you don't know her. Obviously we have very different views, if I gave her more attention really I'd have zero time for anything. She is with us 24/7 and yes she can be a button pusher. I don't think the sad face is really appropriate and I find it rather rude. She's 4 and yes can be a very difficult child, I put this thread on here for some advice, maybe commiseration, not feeling like I'm judged because I *think* my child may be doing things on purpose to bug me. Why would sensory issues be possible, yet a child can't do something on purpose at age 4. Every kid is different.

I just don't agree.

[HollyBearsMom]

guess we have to agree to disagree!

from the mom of a sensory seeking, extroverted, spirited child who also loves to strip at the drop of hat

[cattmom]

In our house, we let our four year old be as naked as much as she wants. She can also be naked in the backyard if she prefers. The limit is the front door. I always double check the wiping, so that's not an issue. I'm not a child development expert, but everything I've read assures me that she will want to cover her body on her own in a couple of years, without any help from me. In my mind, it is sort of like potty training was - she was ready when she was ready, and I regretted my attempts to rush it. I'm not saying I'm great at laughing off every developmental issue, but this is definitely one I can laugh off.

[karanyavel]

Every picture of me from when I was under six or so shows me wearing nothing but panties. Mom says I just never wore clothes (except when we went somewhere) until I started Kindergarten. She didn't think of it as a big deal since I didn't "have anything to cover" anyway

DD is a lot like this, and we've gradually introduced new clothing rules as she ages. Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal for her to be naked (except for undies, which are a must around here) until she starts developing, but I wanted to start addressing it earlier so she wouldn't feel ashamed of growing breast buds, etc., and so we could make the transition more gradual.

Each time we have changed the rules, we've explained that it is because she is getting more grown up and needs to act a little more grown up about some things.

At 2 years old, she was told that she needed to be covered in public. (Our version of "public", which is used for a few different rules, includes having company over.)

At 3 years old, the rule was that she needed to be wearing panties (or some kind of bottom other than a skirt) unless she was in a room by herself or she was bathing/showering.

At 3-4 years old, she was told that she was getting too big to shower with her Dad (but she could still shower with Mom).

At 5 years old, the rule was that she needed to be wearing some kind of top in addition to her panties... anything that covers her nipples is okay. (At this point she began insisting that her dad also wear a shirt, since he runs around in his boxers or just shorts at home sometimes. We agreed that was fair and Dad now wears a shirt of some kind at home too!)

She is still allowed to sleep -- and cuddle with me before sleep -- wearing nothing but her panties. I take off my pants to facilitate skin-to-skin contact (she likes to throw her bare leg over my bare leg), which she still craves before she goes to sleep, but I leave my shirt/bra/granny panties on.

I figure when she's 8 or 9, I'll start expecting her to wear a dress/pants/skirt/shorts at home, because I suspect DH would get uncomfortable if she's running around in a tank top and panties when she's developing.

Maybe not a lot of use to the OP, but that's how we handled it.

--K

[Sweetest Confection]

Originally Posted by weezix

I also make them wear undies if they are being inappropriate with touching or playing with toys (my kids are really touchy and THAT bothers me). I ask them that if they feel they need to touch then they can do it in their bedroom by themselves.

This is exactly my problem with my daughter. She's not a 'stripper' like some others (I had to put a full end to that because of this behaviour), but between changing clothes or something, she's got her hands right there (used to be toys, too). Drove me NUTS. I tried to explain that we don't do that in front of people, that it's something to do by yourself in your room, but that never got through to her - and panties weren't enough, she'd just push them aside and had absolutely no care for how others felt (like guests, for example). I really HAD to forbid nudity and insist on clothes.

I really didn't WANT to forbid nudity (except for underwear 'cause I didn't want nakey-butt all over the furniture), it was something I really tried NOT to do, and was a hard decision to make. Because, daddy didn't like clothing and she couldn't seem to get that HE always kept something on hand so he could quickly get dressed in case someone came over - and *didn't* go around touching himself every chance he got.
(Even when I explained these important differences to her, she didn't get it.)


It's all gotten a little better since she started kindergarten, though.

[Storm Bride]

I haven't read the whole thread yet. Different people will have different takes, obviously. My kids are all nudists, and I'm okay with that.

Our rules are:

1) If they complain about being cold, they have to put on clothes.

2) If we have company coming over, they have to get dressed (unless it's someone that I know doesn't care - my mom, my sister, or a couple other people).

hmm...that's about it, really.

I'm not sure how I'd deal with it in the OP's situation, though. I'm not bothered by having a naked kid running around. I'd guess this would require a lot of staying on top of it and removing her from the public parts of the house when she's naked.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by cattmom

I'm not a child development expert, but everything I've read assures me that she will want to cover her body on her own in a couple of years, without any help from me.

This was my experience with ds1, who went from full-on nudist to never leaving the house naked in about 48 hours, and then to keeping covered in front of everyone, including me, a couple years later, also in a [i]very/i] brief period of time. By about age 7 or 8, he wouldn't be caught dead being naked in public.

DD1 is 7, and still likes to be naked in the house sometimes, but not all the time. She never leaves the house naked, anymore.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Norasmomma

She wears scratchy tu-tus and princess dresses all.day.long. those don't seem to bother her, so I guess the sensory thing just doesn't make sense.

FWIW, I'm not saying that your dd has sensory issues, but the above doesn't really come into play, imo. I'm pretty sure ds2 has sensory issues, and he's the most aggressive of my kids about being naked. He also doesn't give a crap about whether clothes fit properly, have rough seams, etc. I think he's sensory seeking, and the "misfits" and "uncomfortable" textures just aren't on his radar (or he may even like them - he often wears shorts/t-shirts in the winter, and sweatpants/heavy shirts on hot days and things like that). I don't think he goes naked to avoid the sensations of clothes...but to maximize the sensations of everything else.

Anyway - as I say, I'm not trying to diagnose your dd, but did want to mention that I don't think tu-tu and princess dresses really have anything to do with it.