A vent about "Granny Nanny" and advice requested - Page 3

[karaann07]

How are things going now? Honestly, I disagree, in theory, with the idea that you should compromise on ANYTHING- these are your kids, and when she is acting as their care provider, her job is to do as you wish. But in reality, someone had a good point about letting her have the "little things". It sounds like you've started doing that. Has it had a positive impact on anything yet? I hope you guys are getting into a better "groove".

[ocelotmom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lach 

Again, perhaps all this advice is off base.  But her situation, moving and being widowed and spending all day taking care of two tiny babies made me wonder if she is lonely, and obsessing over her new "role" in life because she just doesn't have much else to do right now.

I think this makes a lot of sense.

Along similar lines, would it be possible to pay her a stipend? Not as much as you'd pay a non-family sitter, since room and board is presumably part of the deal and saving money is a large part of the reason for this arrangement in the first place, but some amount might both help encourage a more professional relationship - less of a feeling of doing you a favor and therefore doing it on her terms, and also give her a little more independence if money is an issue for her.

[ToadJode]

Things are going a lot better.

We have discussed a lot of the issues I have with the way she acts about my decisions, and I've learned to just ignore her a lot of the time when she makes snarky comments. The reality is that we all want to do what is best for the babies, and we just need to work together to do so, not against one another.

In regards to her personal life, I think whomever posted about that hit the nail on the head. She definitely seems to be grasping control again in a life where she's lost control and had lots of abrupt change recently, so I am trying to be sympathetic to that. I just wish there was something I could do to help her meet more friends her age down here so she can have a life outside of our household. Thank you for the advice!