Moms with PLing experience

[AFWife]

Help me think through this!

DS is my first. My brother and I PL'd later (closer to 3) so I can't go to my parents for advice. (Same with DH's mom...she's surprised he's doing it so early)

He's 18mo. We started introducing the potty around 10mo. Basically, if I caught him pooping I'd set him on it and give him lots of praise (clapping and saying "YAY FRANKLIN!") for finishing up on the potty. We also would sit on it after naps and occasionally in the morning and sometimes catch a pee. It was all very laid back. If I caught it cool, if not it's no big because he's so young.

We started doing it more recently. He runs around naked most of the time because we have few misses during the day. He knows where his potty is kept (usually in the living room) and will come use it when he needs to.

Okay, my questions...

1) Originally we were catching poops and missing pees...now, a few months later (after a brief strike) it's reversed. He comes to pee but will go to his room to poop. MIL said that kids get that "need to be alone to poop" thing going on...will buying a second potty just for his room help?

2) He's not verbal yet...well, he's getting better. The other night he said potty and then used it, but it hasn't happened again. When do we do underwear? Would it be best to do it at home first?

3) How do we start doing it out and about? This one makes me the most nervous...


This and ANY other advice is very very appreciated!

[nukuspot]

I can't wait to read your replies! Subbing...

[OTMomma]

I would not do underwear out and about until your child can communicate with you a need to use the potty, through words or sign language. If it were me, I would get a second potty, and either keep it in his room, or in the bathroom (my preference at my house)- so he can poop in private. I would suggest reading a book on Elimination Communication- because at 18 months, that may have more wisdom for you than the traditional potty learning info that focuses on 27 month olds- and it may help you figure out what to do when out and about and answer your questions.

My oldest started to potty train at 18 months- we were so excited! But then we moved right around her 2nd b-day, and it set her way back, she was over 3 before she was fully potty trained. I say that not to discourage you, but to mention that it is a process. My biggest advice is to stay laid back like you have been so far and not let it stress you and your ds out, even if it becomes a long process.

[Marissamom]

my DD (17 months) won't go on the potty if her dad is there, and will only use it if it's in the bathroom and the door is closed. so him wanting privacy sounds possible to me. so having a second potty in a private place could work for him. I'm planning on trying undies at home first (we still do diapers most of the day because we're still working on the communication part), and wouldn't do them out and about until he's reliably asking for the potty even when away from home (I don't want wet pants happening while we're running errands, etc.)

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by OTMomma

My oldest started to potty train at 18 months- we were so excited! But then we moved right around her 2nd b-day, and it set her way back, she was over 3 before she was fully potty trained. I say that not to discourage you, but to mention that it is a process. My biggest advice is to stay laid back like you have been so far and not let it stress you and your ds out, even if it becomes a long process.

The big thing "pushing" me is that I'm due in January...so I wanted him to be as familiar with the potty as possible. I'm selfish I don't want to change two sets of diapers for YEARS you know?

[RaeDyCo]

Originally Posted by AFWife

The big thing "pushing" me is that I'm due in January...so I wanted him to be as familiar with the potty as possible. I'm selfish I don't want to change two sets of diapers for YEARS you know?

I felt the same way with DS1 when pg with DS2 BUT I am so glad DS1 wasn't ready then. He uses the potty 100% now but when he has to go, everything must come to a stop. I couldn't imagine how bad it would have been if I was nursing newborn DS2 and had DS1 yelling "Come here mummy! I need to pee/poop!", "Turn on the light", etc. Even now, he always has to go to the bathroom just when DS2 is settling in to nurse before a nap or bed !

[swd12422]

Definitely buy another potty for his room, and maybe one for the bathroom, too. (But definitely one for the place where he consistently goes to poop....) I'd get one for the bathroom just to get him used to going to the room where he'll be going once he's done with the potty (or once your new LO is crawling and you no longer want/can have random potties lying around the living room).

I wouldn't push the underwear til he can communicate a need to go. You *could* give it a try on short trips out if you really want to. That's how DS did it, but he was talking by the time he was ready (much older than your DS). We put a potty in the car and he'd go before we left anywhere and before we got out of the car at our next destination. That way, he only had to hold it for 10-20 minutes at a time and I made sure our errands were short. (He had one accident in public early on, when we were doing a big shopping with DH and had been in the store for about an hour....)

If he's used to being without diapers, it can't hurt to try training pants and just go out for a few minutes at a time to see how he does. Try to see if he has a pattern of how frequently he pees, and keep the intervals without a potty down to that time period. (And bring towles and extra clothes, just in case!)

[Shanny2032]

You may want to move this to Elimination Communication.

My 23 month old is potty trained and we started much like you very laid back around 10 months and then at 14 months she tool the lead and was pretty much trained by 17 months. I had an ikea potty in every room. For the longest time, and even at times now she says "pee pee" when she needs to poop and vice versa so don't worry so much about the WORD part of the communication but follow his cues - grunting, squating, hiding etc. Also, if this is where you are now and you are due in January I agree with PP that you may be wishing he were in diapers when you are trying to nurse a newborn and he decides today is the day he is going to dump his little potty into the big potty by himself! He'll still be reliant on you for a long time for many potty related things - getting clothes up and down, changing soiled or wet clothes, dumping and flushing, getting onto the big potty, washing hands and on and on. SO, just follow his lead and see where you go but putting the time table on it will surely backfire on you both.

[donutmolly]

Oh, I wouldn't worry about not putting undies on when out and about, even if he doesn't communicate. Bring a couple of changes and a dipe for back-up, and just take him whenever you see a toilet. Really! I mean, when you go to the grocery store, take him when you get there, and after you are finished shopping. Know where all the public toilets are and go! It really helps when you're big and pg, because you usually need to go too!

Both my DD's were out of dipes full time at age 2. DD1 did have a major regression when her sister was born, but we just dealt with the accidents and clean-up (interestingly, she didn't have accidents out and about, just at home...) DD2 was well on her way to daytime dry by the time DD3 was born (she was 19mo), so yeah, I totally understand the desire to not do double diapers... and I think that most kids are ready by age 2. But I do think it has to be more parent-led at that point -- which means you initiate trips to the potty while DC is learning to use the potty full-time. Heck, I still tell my 5yo DD to use the toilet before we get in the car for a long ride and before bed... it's not an option around here... even if they don't feel like they 'have to go', they can still 'empty their bladder' -- which is what we say around here!