I'm not here to figure out how to change him, or anything like that. I just don't have anyone to talk to, since he's asked me not to tell. All of our friends and family are Christians, so they would make a big deal out of it...and I just don't feel like they would understand.
I'm here because this is difficult emotionally and I think it would be to anyone, no matter what your spiritual beliefs are. I'm hoping there are others who have been through something similar and can understand my feelings and share their own. I'm thinking some of the same feelings might come up with any religion or spiritual views.
Emotionally, I'm having trouble with:
-the fact I feel like we're on such different wavelengths, and have such different worldviews, when I thought they were pretty similar. It feels weird knowing that he had decided this so long ago, but didn't tell me. (we were regularly going to a church at the time too). There's a closeness you get from really knowing someone and even believing the same things...and for now I feel an awkward distance. It just feels strange to all of a sudden know that my dh doesn't believe that any sort of spiritual realm even exists. I just can't relate.
-Also, him sharing all of his reasoning with me really forces me to question everything I believe. What if I find that he's right? That really scares me. I find a certain amount of peace and security from my current beliefs, and right now, the thought of ever changing such a foundational belief terrifies me. I'm not saying I will. ...but I don't know. I do know it's more of a possibility than 2 days ago. I just feel like I don't know anything all of a sudden. ...and for me, that's scary in any situation.
(Just so it's clear, there's no fighting, bickering, or judgement going on between us regarding this issue. We're both just trying to lovingly understand each others thoughts and respect each other's feelings.)
Maybe you've been in a similar situation. Maybe not. Either way, I'd really love to hear any advice or thoughts. Anything really. I'd appreciate it.