the easy job

[jeteaa]

sometimes I feel that as a sahm I have the easy job compared to my dh. He works hard 40 to 60 hrs/week and he does many home improvement projects around the house. There is no way I could ever do his job. I would never be able to make as much money as he does and I don't currently have the skills to do the home projects. BUT as proved this weekend he is incapable of doing my job. I had to do a volunteer job for my dc school sat am. I left dh a basic list of things needed to get done. We had family visiting, soccer game and getting ready for a halloween activity. I did not want to insult his intelligence so my list was not too detailed. He knew that when I got home we need to head right out the door for the game. I got home and the kids had not eaten any lunch (12:30), they were still in PJ's, the house could have been more clean.... UGH!

[confustication]

Lately I have been feeling the same way- I've been the WOH parent, and together we concluded that we would switch that up. DH is the WOH parent and I am home- for us, we can both do either, but it is smoother when I am the SAHP. I do appreciate how hard he is working to make this possible though, and I deal with some guilt about that.

[Jaxinator]

Oh I know for sure that there is absolutely no way I could do what my husband does. I have it way easy. The funny thing is, he could do mine no problem. When I'm not here everything goes just fine. They may eat a bit more pizza because my husband isn't a huge cooker, but other than that... yeah, he probably even keeps the house neater than I do.

[MrsBone]

I think if my hubby HAD to do my job, he could, but he doesn't have to all that much, so yeah. I couldnt do my hubby's job. He gets up at the crack of dawn and does hard manual labor all day. I mean, I suppose I could if I had to, but I will never have to, so it is what it is. There's a couple at my church who has quadruplet 5 year olds and a 6 year old and the mom has had health problems since the quads were born. She's in and out of the hospital constantly, sometimes for weeks on end. The dad had to take over the household as well as being the breadwinner, and relying on great friends and family to take care of the kids while he works. I think because he was forced to do both jobs, he certainly must be good at it by now. I wish every parent had to try both jobs to see what the other is going through, because there's no way each parent can ever completely understand until they do it themselves.

[cappuccinosmom]

I have felt since the beginning that I have the easier job.

Not that it's "easy" per se.

But compared to what he does, I'd sahm any day. Fortunately, he doesn't like to sah and he loves to work, so we're a good match.


Particularly this year. He's out of the country, trying to fix his educational issues so that his education can be accepted here in the States. He's living in a tiny apartment, subsisting on mostly potatos (inflation in his country is through the roof). And here I am sitting in my parents large, comfortable house eating meat every day and generally having a darn good time.

When he's home, he is driven to work many hours a day. Often feeling like he doesn't have time to stop for lunch. Sure, I have bad days, and taking care of the kids isn't always a walk in the rose garden. But I can put them down for naps and take a breather, I get to go with them to interesting events and places, basically I get all the good stuff and he doesn't.

[dakotablue]

I have the easy job for me.

He has the easy job for him.

It may be easier for me to SAHP than it is for him to work, but it would be WAY harder for him to do my job.

I feel bad sometimes because I genuinely love being home and he doesn't truly love him work, and if I went back to work I love what I used to do.

no advice just that I think when it comes down to it we are partners each doing what we are best suited to do.

[Autumn Breeze]

dh says "I couldn't do what you do"........and I couldn't do what he does!! It's not easy, but it's what I do

[Kelly1101]

I don't know if I could even compare it.

I couldn't physically do his job, probably. I'm not a particularly big/strong woman, and he does construction/painting and it's very physically demanding.

But, I have done jobs that were physically demanding on my body. So, comparing it to that... I don't know. It's apples and oranges.

No, SAHM isn't as physically tiring. But it's more mentally/emotionally draining. It's just being ON DUTY non-stop, you can't just say "okay, I'm going to go take my lunch break now."

My husband can't do my job as well as I can. I mean, he could probably keep the kids reasonably fed and clean (although he couldn't breastfeed the baby, rotfl obviously), but all of the other aspects of it-- keeping the house organized, keeping up on the budget and grocery shopping and doctor appointments and all of the little details of running the household-- that's not one of his strong points. He also probably wouldn't be as good at giving timely healthy meals, managing both babies while doing an errand or going to the playground-- although maybe with practice he'd get better at it.

I don't know. Both of us are, I believe, working as hard as we can for the good of our family. So, there's no point in comparing for us.

[TinkerBelle]

I am sorry, but in my opinion, that was just pure laziness. My husband is not Suzy Homemaker, but he can follow a simple list.

[jeteaa]

Originally Posted by TinkerBelle

I am sorry, but in my opinion, that was just pure laziness. My husband is not Suzy Homemaker, but he can follow a simple list.

My dh is anything BUT lazy.... It is that he is not able to juggle all the things in a time frame. He is a crew leader at work.... just can't time manage kids.

[Autumn Breeze]

Originally Posted by jeteaa

My dh is anything BUT lazy.... It is that he is not able to juggle all the things in a time frame. He is a crew leader at work.... just can't time manage kids.

How old are your kids? Have you always stayed home? When my husband is in charge, things run differently. I can assure you though, that he can manage to get them fed, dressed and ready to leave to get to soccer on time. And when he had to, it just so happened to also be picture weekend!

But, perhaps he just isn't aware of how many other little things you keep juggling while taking care of the kids and making sure things happen. Your multi-tasking time management skills are better. Most women are "better" at this So, no he's not lazy. But, I don't think you would be insulting his intelligence by leaving a more detailed list if you expect him to get it all done.
Or, expect less . By realizing that a day or weekend with his kids was something I wanted my husband to be able to enjoy, I learned to ask less of him. All I want are him and the kids to be happy, so if they're fed, and on time somewhere, I don't so much care what they're wearing (as long as it's weather appropriate) and if they need to be on time, they are. The house being cleaned as he goes, not really something I expect.

[sunnymw]

Eh. Right now DH has the easier job. We've both done both of them, and we both agree that WOH (retail, sales, cashier, etc) is 1000x easier than SAH with 2 insane boys that never ever stop.

I WOH from summer 2009 until last week and I'm already going nuts and looking for work, work, any work, I'll work at McDonald's, I'll shovel poop, I'll weld, I'll WHATEVER. Sure, I can't get on FB or MDC or whatever during work, but at least I can get 30 solid minutes to eat hot food, pee alone, and have NO ONE touching me for at least a few hours in a row!!