i thought it was too good to be true

[marquess78]

i recieved the letter that my OBs partners would like me to sign today.

using only two words to describe my inclination to sign it, like hell.

it is vague and basically condemns me to the knife if i sign it. OB apologized again and fwd my email to the MFM head who wrote the ridiculous letter. and can i just say, there were so many grammatical errors i nearly laughed til i peed myself. i mean, its an overly educated MAN writing a letter as if he were me and he cant even use proper grammar.

i wont even post it because its too ridiculous and would only upset everyone.

we are 34w1d today and i am anxious to meet these two. i know they will come when they are ready. i cant help but read into every little sign i get. first of all, i started swelling something fierce. if i stand for any length of time, my calves, feet, and ankles are the size of pumpkins. i decided to stop working this week. friday is my last day. now, this is where it gets annoying. my BH contractions have become stronger and i feel alot of pressure with them now. and for the past 18 hours i have had non stop diarrhea. its gotten to the point where all that comes out is like clear jelly. sorry for the TMI. i am combating the endless pooping with more water than any one person should be able to consume. i pee all the time ive had at least 2 gallons today, not to mention the 1/2 gallon of grape juice i am working on right now. im so thirsty.

i want the ctx and runs to mean that my babies have decided on an early nov b-day. but i am sure that if they did the stupid OBs would stop it from happening. idiots. i dont want preemies, but i want my babies to pick their own time. as i have said, my last delivery started with spontaneous ROM at 34w6d and we arent too far from that.

as for the letter, i have to have another meeting with the MFM guy to hash out specifics. because the letter leaves it wide open to the OBs discretion as to how i deliver.

[MNHall]

Maybe you can continue to ask questions about this "letter" and postpone until you actually go into labor. Like, schedule a meeting with them in 2 weeks to discuss this letter. At that point you'll be 36 weeks!

Thinking about you mama!

[marquess78]

i am asking questions. actually i just got done talking with my ob. he said this isnt him and mfm and his partners are the ones coordinating this letter.

i am not 100% opposed to scheduling a c/s, exactly. basically if i choose to do so, it will be at the last possible date. because frankly if i make it to my due date without delivering, i will accept that my body is stupid and doesnt know how to birth a baby. id prefer to deliver vaginally, but i cant stay pg forever. so i am willing to compromise.

ob and i are on the same page however, that if i choose a RCS date and i DO go into labor before that day, the plan to vbac doesnt change barring emergency situations.

ob sent me his schedule from 11.21 until my due date so that if we decide to schedule he can be the one to do it. i prefer it that way so that none of the other jerks get the satisfaction of cutting me open. and i know my ob will do a good job.

i am still trying very hard to get the hang of hypnobabies. really i just like how relaxed i get from it. dont know about the whole hypno anesthesia but i do get really relaxed.

i am so tired of all of the drama.

[MsBlack]

just sending you boatloads of hugs, warm thoughts and inspiration to stay the course

With another reminder to rest, rest, REST, whenever you can!

[buckeyedoc]

The only thing I ever got to sign was a "VBAC Consent Form" from the hospital. I complained that there should be a side-by-side comparison of risks for VBAC and RCS and then a place to check one and sign off, and my OB said he would suggest that to the hospital administrators. He also said the consent form was pretty meaningless.

I don't know what is in your letter, but I would not sign a RCS consent form ahead of time or any blanket statement that said the doctor could choose for me. If a problem came up in labor, then I would sign (or have my husband sign) a Cesarean consent form.

[buckeyedoc]

Originally Posted by marquess78

because frankly if i make it to my due date without delivering, i will accept that my body is stupid and doesnt know how to birth a baby.

Why do you feel this way? FWIW, I have three children, all born healthy after their due dates. My VBAC this year was at 41+1. I was personally born at 41+3. Remember that the due date is supposed to be an average, not a maximum. I know it sucks to be a long gestator, but it really is normal for many women, and the discomfort of it is less than the discomfort of a Cesarean recovery IMO. Hang in there. If you want a VBAC, you can likely have one.

[coraljean]

Originally Posted by marquess78

i am not 100% opposed to scheduling a c/s, exactly. basically if i choose to do so, it will be at the last possible date. because frankly if i make it to my due date without delivering, i will accept that my body is stupid and doesnt know how to birth a baby. id prefer to deliver vaginally, but i cant stay pg forever. so i am willing to compromise.

It sounds like you are pregnant with multiples, and I know that it is common for multiples to come early, but it is not unheard of to go past your due date. It would probably happen a lot more often if OBs actually let women pregnant with multiples go into labor on their own instead of just inducing or scheduling a c/s. This is an inspiring birth story of a mom who went a week past her due date, and had VBAC triplets at home, all healthy! http://www.drbrewerpregnancydiet.com/id21.html

Anyways, good luck! You don't have to sign anything you don't want to!

Coral Jean

[buckeyedoc]

Oh, you have multiples?!?! Never mind my questioning your concern over reaching your due date, since that is a pretty long pregnancy with multiples.

[marquess78]

LOL, yes i have twins

there is some size discordance but little girl continues to thrive inside me so inside she stays.

here is the letter that the MFM wanted me to sign. i wasnt going to post it but it is pretty comical. who in their right mind signs something like this. i mean REALLY...keep in mind this guy is trying to write this as if he were me. and please dont hold his gramatical errors against him, LOL.

to whom it may concern.
i met with dr frank ***** on 10/10/10 who informed me that the vanderbilt physicians taking care of me do not belive that a TOL and VBAC is in my best interest. i have had 3 c/s procedures and now have a twin gestation witht he second baby being bigger than the first. dr ***** and his entire staff belive that, because of the significant increased risk of uterine rupture during labor and well as potential problems with the delivery of my twins, that a scheduled repeat c/s is the safest way to deliver my babies.

dr ***** also indicated that because of my late gestational age, it would not be an option for vanderbilt to attempt to refer me to another dr or facility (really? because they did just that before this meeting happened) and that he and his staff would do everything possible to bring about a safe delivery for me and my babies despite my refusing to undergo a scheduled repeat c/s. accordingly, he indicated that when labor begins, i will be monitored and should any departure from a normal progression of labor occur, i have agreed to a repeat c/s. i also understand and agree that the drug oxytocin would not be utilized in my labor as it further increases the risk of uterine rupture. i have also agreed to a c/s if, after my first baby is born vaginally, my second child does not deliver in a timely manner or if problems with the fetal heartrate occur. i do not want a breech extraction of my second twin and agree to a c/s if an even occurs that demands a rapid delivery.

in addition, i have been thouroughly informed of the increased risks to my babies and to me byu having made my decisoin of refusing a scheduled repeat c/s and i will not hold any of my health care providers responsible for a complication leading to a bad outcome for me or my babies that relate to the increased risk of attempting a VBAC.

anyone want to sign this, LOL? when i went in for my OB appt today the first words out of my OBs mouth were, 'i told him you werent going to sign this'. then he went on to say he was suprised i got past the first paragraph without getting pissed. he was especially irritated at the 'significant increased risk'. he says, yeah because theres a huge difference between 0.7 and 0.9% then he checked my cervix and says well, its closed but super soft. i said ok, whatever that means. i guess soft is better than nothing. he also said not to let MFM scare me into something i dont want and not to even let them mention induction. i was thinking, well duh dude. but he means well.

im having alot of pressure in my pelvis. course i do have 2 heads down there. he said that he would see me next week unless ive gone into labor before then.

so have fun picking apart the letter. i dont intend to sign anything now. they blew it by offering up this joke.

[buckeyedoc]

...when labor begins, i will be monitored and should any departure from a normal progression of labor occur, i have agreed to a repeat c/s.



Wow, that could be anything! Not progressing at 1 cm per hour, pushing more than three times...

[_ktg_]

Wow - that letter is fear mongering!! I think a nice response might be:

I am having my lawyer review the letter to ensure my rights as a patient are in no way being hindered with the proposed language.

There is some very legalese language in the letter, about what you agree to if things deviate from the normal and I think in a sense bind you from changing your mind. i.e. no way hold the MDs responsible for a bad outcome, sounds like exculpatory language to avoid you from suing for malpractice or etc.

[marquess78]

oh they blew it. i have already told my ob it doesnt matter what MFM puts in writing at this point,i wont sign anything. he is fine with it, as i expected he would be.

even OB agreed what they tried to do in this letter was disgusting. he told me to have a good u/s and enjoy seeing my babies but not to let MFM try to scare me because i know my body and babies better than they do.

i am still having diarrhea and constant contractions w/ pressure. its not been a fun week so far.

[smeep]

I forget...

If your OB is not on call when you go into labour, will he come in anyway? If you haven't asked this yet, I would go ahead and ask. And I don't mean a, "Yes, I'll note it in your chart," deal because that does NOT mean that doctor or nurse so-and-so will actually DO it just because it's in the chart. I mean a, "Yes, here's my cell and home number. When you go into labour and are ready to head to the hospital, let me know and I will meet you there."

Keep your head up, mama! You're going so strong! This is YOUR choice, NOT theirs and they CANNOT force you into anything without a court order (and, frankly, I don't see them being that smart).

Is your SO equally strong/educated on this? As in...if you need him to fight for your wishes, are you sure he will do that? Or is there the chance that he may give in to the "dead baby card" and disrespect your wishes?

[marquess78]

yes my hubby is on board with everything. he is also out of town at the moment but is on call to come back when things get going.

i also have some very strong willed friends who have volunteered to be here with me til my hubby arrives.

as far as my doc coming in, that sadly is a crap shoot. hit or miss, if you will. as awesome as he is i cant make him available all the time. BUT that being said, he said he will come check on me, even if not in an OB/patient capacity. so i am taking my small victories and running with them

now if i only had some insight into when they are coming. still having diarrhea and lack of appetite so we shall see.

[cathicog]

Originally Posted by marquess78

im having alot of pressure in my pelvis. course i do have 2 heads down there. he said that he would see me next week unless ive gone into labor before then.

so have fun picking apart the letter. i dont intend to sign anything now. they blew it by offering up this joke.

Hmmm. Would you consider a homebirth? There are probably mws around there, (many experienced with twins) who might help you. I don't blame you a bit for not signing anything. No sense giving them something to beat you over the head with.... At least you know where they stand, but I don't know if I would go back to them until you were at least 37 weeks...if ever...(in other words, finding a more holistic provider....I know they must be in the area)

[marquess78]

I am not against HB, but it scares my hubby. so in order to respect his wishes i took it off the table. in his defense he did look at everything i showed him and tried to keep an open mind. but in the end he just couldnt overcome whatever it is that freaks him out.

i dont mind seeing MY ob, its the rest of them that freak me out. i keep hoping these babies will suprise me, but i have this fear (that i am trying to work on) that i will not go into labor at all and end up using the backup plan, which is a scheduled RCS with MY ob at 40w. he doesnt think i will stay pg that long. i want to believe him. i have always had a feeling they would be born this weekend. my last labor started when my water broke all of a sudden at 34w6d. which for me is tomorrow. trying not to get my hopes up ya know. i know they will come when they are ready and all babies are different. i will try to stay patient. today was my last day at work so i worry i wont be able to find stuff to keep my brain busy, LOL. i forsee alot of nap time.

[djsnjones]

You may find some helpful information and support through this Facebook page -- "An EDD is an ESTIMATED Due Date not an EXPIRATION date!"

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1580438640#!/letthebabychoose

And here is an interesting article that might help your peace of mind on the issue of due dates....

http://www.transitiontoparenthood.com/ttp/birthed/duedatespaper.htm

I also have 2 very positive stories that might help -- one about twins born vaginally "at term", and one about triplets born vaginally "past term".  The twin one was a hospital birth, the triplet one was a VBAC homebirth.  The twins weighed around 8 lbs each, and the triplets weighed around 7 lbs each.  You can email or message me for the links, if you like.

Best wishes,

Joy

[homewithtwinsmama]

There is no way I would agree to baby B being sectioned for flipping breech.  Baby b just practically falls out for pete's sake!  I have had twins twice and the pressure is just so unfair even if you are NOT a vbac. Stick to your plan mama!