Feeling Sad about weaning

[tiffanymm]

I had planned on CLW for my dd. She will be 3 this month. Long story short. I had to work a bunch for 2 days/nights in a row and dd didn't nurse at all. DH and MIL suggested that I wean her. My 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up on 12/2 and we really want to go away just the 2 of us for a long weekend since we have only spent 1 night together since having kids 8 years ago. I really wanted to just let her go with out nursing for the weekend and then start back up when we got back. My MIL says that she won't watch the kids if dd is still nursing and that I'm not being fair to dd.

Last night was my first night back and dd cried off and on for 1.5 hours to nurse. It completely made me nuts. Tonight she keeps asking and whinning but not crying. I feel aweful and feel like crying. I wasn't emotionally prepared for this. I didn't get a chance to remember our last nursing together.

I know this sounds silly but I don't really have anyone to talk to IRL that would understand how sad I am.

Thanks for listening.

[FrugalGranolaMom]

First of all, congratulate yourself for making it as long as you did! That is a great accomplishment. I'm sorry but I don't really have any advice to get you through, but I know how hard weaning is and like you, I wasn't prepared for the emotion either. Hang in there mama

[tiffanymm]

Thanks Stef, Last night was hard. She cried for what felt like forever and finally fell asleep in my arms around 12:30am. I was really sad this morning and didn't feel like talking to anyone. I am officially in a funk.

[tibeca]

Weaning can be a VERY emotional process, both for mama and baby. And, if this really is what YOU want, then I hope you have the emotional strength for it. Considering you have a whole month before your trip, it seems a bit much to be weaning cold turkey. Perhaps being a bit more gradual with the process may help. Perhaps allowing her to nurse for a minute or two before bed. Then allowing her to fall asleep with only snuggles. There are lots of ways to get to weaning, that don't have to involve crying.

I however, am wondering why you are letting someone else dictate your weaning? If you have been away for 2 nights in a row, without problems, then why do you have to wean now? A long weekend is perfectly safe for both you and DD, especially at this point. What injustice are you doing to your DD by continuing to nurse?

I know my heart wouldn't be able to take it, and more importantly, that I don't let other people make parenting decisions for me. I hope that this decision is really yours.

check this out for more help on gradual weaning:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/h...g_happens.html

[dot1]

Hugs, it's so hard when you're not ready. I couldn't help but want to respond.

I wanted CLW and finally caved to pressure from dh to wean dd (3.5 yrs). That combined with TTC for over a year and suspecting that lactation was interfering with luteal phase of cycle.....

After we had lots of talks about it, we went a few nights....and dd was still asking to nurse. After a few nights when she asked again, I said yes, let's nurse one last time. She fell asleep peacefully at the breast and I cried and cried and cried.

I nursed again (even though there was very little milk), so I could feel like I remembered "the last time". I still get pretty broken up over it, but remind myself that she got much more than most.

It seems your MIL is being insensitive, invalidating, manipulative and controlling. Then to have the gall to try to give you a guilt trip about fairness to dd? I often wonder if attitudes like this are born from feelings of guilt...or fear of feeling inadequate if she admits breastfeeding is normal and natural for very young children. Is there any possibility of finding another babysitter? Friends?