Are birthday parties becoming over the top these days?

[Lauren82]

When I was a kid, we always had our birthday parties at our homes (10th bday was at the roller rink and that was a HUGE deal). We'd play party games, eat pizza and have a blast. I think the most extravagant thing I remember seeing at a birthday party was a rented pony for pony rides around the yard.

These days, it seems like everyone has parties outside the home at Chuckee Cheese, inflatable bounce places, themed party places, laser tag, etc... Which is great if you've got the $250+ to spend on a birthday party.

Does anyone still have parties at their homes? I definitely have some sort of fantasy of creating really cool at home parties for my kids. But, with the current trend of parties in my neck of the woods, I almost feel as if I'd be weird for hosting a party at my house.

Have you had parties at your home? How did it work out? Did people from your child's class show up?

I'm asking this after my 5 year old DD told me she'd like a birthday party at a place that is $260 for only 10 guests and an hour of rental time (no food is included btw). I just think I could do so much better at home for half that price or less.

[pianojazzgirl]

Granted my oldest kid is still only 6, but we have had all of her (and her younger brother's) b-day parties at home. It's great - just like you describe: kids eating yummy snacks, playing games, running around, eating cake and just having a great time. This past year the special thing I did for dd's b-day was to make a pinata. That was exciting enough for her.

That said, around here it does still seem the norm to do at-home parties. I guess it's possible that dd would be disappointed with her party if all of her friends' parties were at bright, loud, super-bouncy theme places.

[sunnmama]

I've noticed a shift in the last couple of years. I don't know if it is due to the age of the kids (dd is now 9), or maybe the economy, but MOST of dd's friends have their bday party at home now. Simple, old-fashioned parties with cake, playing make-up/dress-up, dance contests, etc. Dd had a party like that for her birthday last year, and everyone showed up.

When she was younger, it seems we got a lot more invites for the parties at "party places".

[mamazee]

I think outsourcing parties to Chuck E. Cheese or some other place is the most awesome thing in the world, from my point of view as a party-thrower. I don't do it to have a huge party. I do it because I'm lazy and don't want to do the work. And Chuck E. Cheese isn't all that expensive. But my dd loves going to "home parties" as she calls them.

[Shaki]

This year we are having DD's party at a museum--which is basically the same as doing it at a "party place". It's expensive and her grandparents are helping out. In previous years her parties have all been at home and with a small group of friends. The at home ones are more economical, and the ones outside the home mean a lot less cleaning (both before and after the party). It is the norm to invite the entire class to parties at our school and we'd have a hard time accommodating that many people in our apartment. So this year we decided to go with a party at a place. We have been to both at home parties and parties at places, I think in this community people opt for the "party place" more often but I have been to some lovely at home ones as well (usually these are given by folks who have homes, not apartments ).

The at home party we most recently went to was AWESOME! The Kids were 3-6 years old, we did crafts, decorated cupcakes, played games, and watched a movie all the children had a fabulous time. If you want to do an at home party go for it! I think where the party is held isn't nearly as important as whether or not the kids have fun.

[JamieCatheryn]

We don't have rich friends. Never been to a party at a place other than homes or the park. We do visit an inflatables place when the weather's bad, just us, it's $7 a kid and parents free (and we get to slide and bounce if we want lol), lots of fun.

[Marimami]

Except for her 2nd birthday in which we joined forces with another family and split the cost to rent one of those dedicated jumping places, we have always had her parties at home.

I think we do fun parties, but my friends all think I go overboard I'm sure. I usually make a lot of the decorations, and I spend a lot of time looking for deals for activities, favors, etc. I hate cheapo party favors so I do put a bit of thought into it. I love all the planning and preparation, but it's a lot of work. Even if we limit her to inviting just 5-6 friends, they all have siblings, and we like the parents to stay too because they're our friends. So, it is a huge "to do" no matter how much I try to limit it. I probably spend the same as I would if I just had it at an outside party place.

She loves all the preparation and helping me plan everything but then on the actual day, she is overwhelmed. She doesn't like being the center of attention, even if it's all her closest friends.

This year we had a "rainbow" 6th birthday party with lots of crafts and a little bit of science (two of her favorite things). I think it was a hit with all the kids, but she still got overwhelmed. 5 was horses; 4 was music; 3 was animals... I try to pick things she's "into" that year.

I told her next year we should just do a party at the local science museum, but I don't know what we'll end up doing.

I personally have never had a birthday party. My birthday is 12/26 and no one was ever around except my family. So, I'm sure I'm living vicariously, but I'm super sensitive to what she wants. She always claims to want a party at home with all the activities that we plan, but then she gets overwhelmed. I think she'd be happier if I planned big parties for myself so I was the center of attention and she just got to enjoy!

Holli

[limabean]

We always have our kids' birthday parties at home, as do almost all of our friends. We've been invited to several parties in the exclusive gated community adjacent to mine, and they've all been fairly low-key at-home affairs too. The only place I really hear about the crazy OTT party trend is here at MDC.

ETA: I agree with those who say that having a party at a venue in and of itself isn't OTT -- sometimes that's just the practical choice, and I've thought that the venue parties I've been to have been pretty low-key. It's easily possible to have an OTT party at home too.

[Joyster]

I've done both. Last year DS1 had a party at a place we rented out. NOT CEC since I can't stand that place, but a nice little indoor playground with lots of activities. Ordered pizza, had chips, veggies, dip and cake. The kids had a blast.

This year, we had it at home, and had way more kids (go fig!). We did lots of games, activities, hired three local teens to help out. Had sandwiches, veggies, dips, fruits, chips, cake. We made the activities, begged, borrowed, stole what we could. The kids had a blast.

All in all though, the price of food, materials, rental etc. I think the costs ended up to be about the same. So I don't necessarily believe that because it's at home it's less expensive or over the top. I've been to a few OTT parties at home. In addition, at least with the indoor playground, we didn't have to do tidy up.

[EFmom]

I've had them at home and at different venues.

I work full time out of the home. While I enjoy some aspects of it, hosting a party is a giant PIA and it's majorly time consuming to plan, shop, clean, etc. for.

For me, if the cost is reasonable, it's easier all around to have them someplace. Chuck E. Sleeze is, IMO, pretty cheap. We've also had parties at bowling alleys that weren't bad. When I do them at home, I tend to pick a theme and decorate and create games around the theme, and I end up shelling out a fair amount for that kind of stuff. So, while the outside venue might be a little more expensive, often it's only by about $50 or so and that's so worth my time.

Now there are kids who have very expensive parties. For example, there's a pottery place here that does parties, and the minimum cost is $40/kid, with a 10 kid minimum, plus you still have to provide food, cake, etc. That's more than I'm willing to spend.

[ChetMC]

Parties

I agree that home parties are not necessarily cheaper than venue parties.

There are some fairly economical places to have kids' parties. My niece's third birthday was a cooking party at a grocery store. We've rented a community hall for $30 when our oldest turned four and again when she turned six.

Some people do go over the top, but I don't find venue parties to be outrageous by definition. The ones that I've been to were just a practical option for the family.

[Lauren82]

Wow. I wonder if the trend of where to have parties varies depending on where you live. For close friends and even not so close friends, not a single one has had a home party for their school aged child. I'm certainly not knocking party venues. We had my son's 5th birthday at an inflatables place. It's just that out of the 20 or so birthday parties we've went to, not a single one has been at home. I'm starting to wonder if the kids might think that's a novelty.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences.

[puffingirl]

Originally Posted by EFmom

I've had them at home and at different venues.

I work full time out of the home. While I enjoy some aspects of it, hosting a party is a giant PIA and it's majorly time consuming to plan, shop, clean, etc. for.

For me, if the cost is reasonable, it's easier all around to have them someplace. .

I totally agree. DD's b'day is in the summer and we had hers at the community pool we belong to. The $$ we spent on food and decorations would have been the same at home, so the extra $40 we spent on day passes to the pool for everyone was well worth not having to clean before and after. It was great--everyone played in the pool, we had sandwiches, chips and cake and the kids ran around in the grass and sand. Lovely, fun day.

[CatsCradle]

I'm not sure how it works in other places, but I know that in NYC, the primary reason for having a party off-site is because a majority of people live in apartments. DH and I (pre-child) have had parties in our apartment, but I can't imagine having one which would include DD's friends, neighbors and cousins. First, it wouldn't be a very nice thing to do to our neighbors below, above and beside us, and second, I do value the limited things that I own (i.e. it may be a crap IKEA sofa, but I've had it for 15 years!). If we lived in a house or say a loft space, it would be a much different dynamic.

But, like a previous poster indicated, I don't know if having it at my home would be much cheaper than outsourcing it. I tend to over do it when I have functions in my own home (particularly with food, etc). We recently had a party for DD at puppet theatre, and it was the most seamless, wonderful thing we could have done. We brought the cake and that was it!

[One_Girl]

We do parties out of the home. I hate clean up and we have a small home. It is sometimes slightly more and sometimes cheaper to have a party somewhere else depending on where we go, but it is worth it.

[madskye]

We've been to some pretty over the top birthday parties, but I wouldn't consider the Chuck E Cheese's or blow up places to be the extravagant parties! Most of the home parties we have been to have been much more expensive/over the top. We had DD's at a pizzeria last year, mostly so that we could limit the friends and family--if we have it at our house we end up with 70 people between friends and their children and the neighbor kids and Dh's enormous family. So last year we had it at the pizzeria and just invited her little school friends/parents and the grand parents.

I think most of it depends on where you live though--this is an over the top area for the most part, in all things. Sometimes that's fun, sometimes it's a headache.

[Hoopin' Mama]

Over half of the parties I have attended were at homes. The others were at a community pool. I've only been to one that was at a specific kids party place, and the Mom was 8 months pregnant so I can't blame her.

[mkksmom]

I used to do all home parties, but I had a party at the swim club and will try to do that from now on. Much easier!! But I refuse to pay for some of the insanely priced locations. Bowling parties tend to be affordable, from what I hear. I don't like the bounce houses or anywhere with ball pits.

I even started doing the family bday dinner at a local pizza place after her recital since the out of state great-grandparents come to the recital and it's on her bday weekend typically.

[sparklett]

I do think it's getting to be a bit much. Nearly every party DS and I have been to includes a big bounce house. My niece just turned 8 and she had four (yes FOUR) ponies, a cotton candy machine, a bounce house, and a margarita bar for the adults.

DS is only three, but at his parties we've just had cake, some decorations, and that's it. I don't see us going nuts in the future, either. I really don't see the point of having huge parties for babies or toddlers, especially since they won't remember. For his 4th birthday we're going on a family vacation and skipping the party altogether.

To me, it seems like big parties are more often about parents "one upping" each other rather than celebrating the birthday of a child.

[dawncayden]

I wish we could always do parties at home or at the park. The only problem is our suite is small and ds1's birthday is in January (we live in Canada so it's pretty cold and wet)
Our place is big enough for 3 extra kids, maybe 4. With their parents it is SOOO packed you can barely move.
Last year we were able to use our buildings common room which was great. Free and large, but not very home-like.
For his next birthday we were thinking about a 'Chucky Cheese' type place or bowling. Only because it's large for running around, and the amount of kids ds1 wants to invite has become larger.
I wish we could continue home parties, but our home is soon to get smaller as we are moving in a month, and will no longer have a common room.
The only way we could have it in our new home would be to have only 2 or 3 kids and no parents.
I'd just feel bad that we'd be excluding some of his best friends

It would be so much easier if his birthday was in the summer...PARK party