resources for explaining SPD to family members

[proudmamanow]

Hi all,
Fresh off a somewhat horrendous visit with MIL (aka Gramma) and anticipating moving to where we will be seeing her and BIL more often. They just don't 'get' dd, age 5.5, SPD + anxiety at all! They both see her behaviours as something to be corrected, think that we baby her and that she needs more discipline. I don't really care about what they think of us as parents, but they also don't get how to get along with dd. When dd is stressed or tired and is acting out, Gramma & uncle withdraw or make sarcastic remarks, none of which is helpful. And dd senses their disapproval for things she has a hard time controlling & gets more stressed, more out of control. Sigh, a vicious cycle. As a result, we don't leave her unsupervised with MIL.
BIL we avoid seeing as much as possible for many reasons, but MIL I feel obliged to at least try to foster a positive relationship with.

Anyway, I didn't really want to turn this into a gigantic rant, as I am really looking for suggestions. DW has tried explaining SPD to MIL, but she really does not get it all. We were thinking of suggesting she reads "Sensational Kids" as this has been helpful for her other grandparents. But I was wondering if anyone has any links for shorter articles/pieces on things like:
-SPD & behaviour
-how to positively interact with your SPD kid

etc. etc. any ideas appreciated.

[SpottedFoxx]

Have you found an OT in your MIL's area for your daughter? If so, talk to the therapist about bringing your MIL in with you. Sometimes hearing it from a professional holds a lot more weight than just you or your DH telling her about it. They can also put it into terms that your MIL can related to and understand.

Otherwise, for the sake of your child, you may have to put your foot down and just tell them that this is the way it is, they don't need to agree but they need to either accept your daughter for who she is or you will have no choice but to distance yourself from them.

[LynnS6]

Dr. Chang who works at the Children's Hospital in Eastern Ontario has some good articles.

http://www.drcheng.ca/page1/page1.html -- scroll down to "Regulatory-Sensory Processing Disorders" there's a nice article for families on SPD.

Maybe some books intended for kids might help them understand. You could get them to read 'with' your dd.
Meghan's World: The Story of One Girl's Triumph Over Sensory Processing Disorder
Why does Izzy Cover Her Ears? Dealing with Sensory Overload
This is Gabriel Making Sense of School: A Book About Sensory Processing Disorder
The Goodenoughs Get in Sync
Squirmy Wormy: how I learned to help myself

I found a webcast (haven't looked at it, so I don't know how good it is.
http://www.sensorysmarts.com/intervi..._articles.html

I also found The Out of Sync Child on DVD in case they'd rather view a DVD than read:
http://store.fhautism.com/p-250-the-...-disorder.aspx

[proudmamanow]

thanks to both of you for the suggestions, I really appreciate it.
Lynn--we actually live near that Children's Hospital right now...and I'd never seen these resources, they are fantastic, thanks!

[proudmamanow]

oh and SpottedFox, we are kind of already at that point with BIL. We only see them once a year if that, because they have not been at all accepting & supportive. MIL is 74 and not in great health and I'm reluctant to take such a hard line with her, but based on our last horrendous visit, I'm certainly thinking we will be limiting or at least very carefully choreographing her visits in future.

But all of this with BIL has come up before we knew about the SPD and I'm hoping that maybe, maybe, if they understand her better they will treat her better.