When do they stay in their own beds?

[Qestia]

My DS is 5, and both he and his 2 yo sister start each evening in their own beds (they share a room). By the end of each night, they are both in our bed. We don't really mind, especially with the cold weather it's very cozy, but I'm just curious when this will stop. Should I be encouraging DS to stay in his own bed?

[pianojazzgirl]

I think this is one of those "every kid is different, every family is different" kind of things. If everyone is happy with the arrangement then great - nothing wrong! If you'd like to work on having ds or both kids stay the whole night in their own beds then that's totally fine too.

My own experience is this: dd was a super independent kid from day 1. She was in her own bed by the time she was around a year and a half old and always stayed the entire night in her bed. Ds coslept exclusively until he was around 2, then spent about half a year starting in his own bed but ending up in ours, and now that he's 3 almost always spends the whole night in his own bed.

My best friend's ds coslept exclusively with them until he was 7 (or maybe just before he turned 7 - I don't remember exactly), and then they built a loft bed in the same room as them that he started sleeping in. For several months he'd sleep in his loft bed but come into their bed at some point in the night. Now he is 8 and always spends all night in his own bed.

So there are a lot of variations on normal.

My question to you is: do you want to change your sleeping arrangements? If so I'm sure the helpful mamas here can brainstorm ideas of making the transition gentle. BUT (like I said before) if you're happy with the way it is, then no need to mess with success!

[cjam]

I can't sleep with kids in my bed. And if I don't sleep, I can't function and be happy cheerful mom that the kids like me to be. My kids have always been promptly escorted back to their beds if they show up in my room at night. Both my kids have double beds so that I can lay down with them for a bit if they have a bad dream or really aren't feeling well, but as soon as they are calm or asleep, I'm back to my bed. We're at the point now where if little feet patter into my room at night, I know there's a good reason like someone sick, a bad dream, or a really scary noise. And that really only happens once every few months or so. My kids are 5 and 4 but it's always been this way. I believe that consistancy is the key. Figure out what's acceptable to you, and be consistent about it.

[lyterae]

DD was an independent sleeper and wouldn't co-sleep. She has been in her own room since about a year old. She has occasional nights that she doesn't want to sleep in her room and she has a fold-out "couch" that she will bring in our room to sleep on. She is a bed hog and I am pregnant, there really isn't room for her in my bed, she is happy to be on the floor next to me.

I agree with the others it is about what is best for your family, not about how everyone else does it.

[leighi123]

Ds slept in my bed most nights until he was 2.5 and quit nursing. Then shortly after that a friend of his (who was 3 at the time so a 'big girl') gave him her toddler bed. He LOVES that bed b/c its his size, and sleeps there most nights now. Sometimes he will start in my bed but then always gets into his own. His bed is in my room though.

[Ornery]

My 6.5 yr old dd and 4.5 ds share a room (bunk beds). They both start out the night most nights in their beds and end up in ours. What I have noticed is that if my ds sleeps all night with us, my dd sleeps all night in her bed so I think that if they had separate rooms, dd would stay in her bed all night.

My ds just slept all night in his bed for the very first time Halloween night. I ended up checking on him several times during the night to make sure everything was okay!

I recently was talking with one of my good friends. She did CIO (ugh) and her oldest boy age 4 still gets up in the middle of the night and crawls into her bed every night.

Of course, it doesn't bother me to have my children sleeping with us and my DH doesn't care. We have a king and I like to snuggle with them.

I really cherish the memories I have of co-sleeping with my oldest ds now that he is almost a man.

[ecoteat]

I'll agree that every kid and family is different with this. My dd has been sleeping in her own bed in her own room since 14 months. (At first I slept with her a lot, until she stopped waking as often.) Now she's almost 4.5 and I would be SHOCKED if she left her bed in the night. That just isn't the way she works--even though we encourage her to get up to use the bathroom if she needs to, it's just not going to happen. It is also highly unusual for her to get out of bed on her own in the morning without calling me of dh in to her room first, even though I encourage her to get up and come to my bed in the morning. I'd rather have a few more snuggly minutes under my own warm blankets! So where I'm trying to get her to realize it's ok to get out of bed if she needs to, you have the opposite issue!

[MJB]

We coslept until my boys were 5 and 2, and moved them into a bed together. The little guy still came in our room fairly often (around 5am usually) until just recently, and he'll be 5 next month. I think 5 is a good age for them to be expected to stay in their own bed, but if it doesn't bother you, what does it matter?

[4evermom]

I'm thinking after puberty... Ds has always been a dependent sleeper, needing body contact.

[Peony]

Originally Posted by 4evermom

I'm thinking after puberty... Ds has always been a dependent sleeper, needing body contact.

We are in the same boat.

[mom2happy]

My 5 and 7 yr olds both start in their own beds.
I sleep with the baby every night and DH goes on the couch.
DS (5) comes in my bed or goes out on the other couch every singe night.
DD (7) winds up on the floor with her head in the hallway near my room and only gets in my bed if she has a bad dream.