I'm having the worst run of luck lately! I just need a hug!
Last week, I went to target on my lunch hour with the idea of getting some 'supplies' so i wouldn't have to go out for lunch; and I wouldn't have to remember to sack my lunch. I have spd, so I make every bit of walking count. I was limping all over the store, and when I got out to my car a gust of wind toppled my cart, into my car leaving a dent, and spilling all my groceries. I right sided cart, even though it hurt like hell, and then loaded all my stuff in teh car. Only to have the car not start. I had to take everything back out, and wait out front for a coworker to come and get me.
On sunday I fell down the stairs. On sunday night, I had some blood in my poop.
I called my OB on monday morning. They chewed me out for not calling the day before (even though I felt *fine*), and told me I had to go to the hospital. I asked them repeatedly if I could come into the office instead and they said no. This one visit will cost at least 1000 dollars (I'm out of pocket), and they didn't even wait for the results of all labs. I was poked and prodded (quite literally, this was the most bruising sono I've ever had), and left the hospital in worse shape than I was in before.
I'm just so frustrated. I hurt so bad. My son will. not. sleep at night, and even though my husband does all the night duty, I wake up faster than he does. It hurts so bad to get in and out of bed, or I would do the night duty myself. Yesterday when DS started crying I got out of bed, (DH sleeps with with DS on a mattress on the floor). Only to hurt myself so badly that I felt like my middle was going to fall apart. After giving DS his bottle, DH came and rubbed my back while I cried myself to sleep.
I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, I have so much to be great ful for. But in the middle of the night, all I could think of is that none of this would be happening if I wasn't pregnant. I'd be able to nurse my son, we'd all get a good night sleep. Both dh and I wouldn't be in trouble at work, constantly, because we are always cutting corners. A few missed days from the nanny wouldn't be an emergency because we're already missing so much work for pregnancy related things. And I'd be able to enjoy the last bit of DS's babyhood.
Last week, I went to target on my lunch hour with the idea of getting some 'supplies' so i wouldn't have to go out for lunch; and I wouldn't have to remember to sack my lunch. I have spd, so I make every bit of walking count. I was limping all over the store, and when I got out to my car a gust of wind toppled my cart, into my car leaving a dent, and spilling all my groceries. I right sided cart, even though it hurt like hell, and then loaded all my stuff in teh car. Only to have the car not start. I had to take everything back out, and wait out front for a coworker to come and get me.
On sunday I fell down the stairs. On sunday night, I had some blood in my poop.
I called my OB on monday morning. They chewed me out for not calling the day before (even though I felt *fine*), and told me I had to go to the hospital. I asked them repeatedly if I could come into the office instead and they said no. This one visit will cost at least 1000 dollars (I'm out of pocket), and they didn't even wait for the results of all labs. I was poked and prodded (quite literally, this was the most bruising sono I've ever had), and left the hospital in worse shape than I was in before.
I'm just so frustrated. I hurt so bad. My son will. not. sleep at night, and even though my husband does all the night duty, I wake up faster than he does. It hurts so bad to get in and out of bed, or I would do the night duty myself. Yesterday when DS started crying I got out of bed, (DH sleeps with with DS on a mattress on the floor). Only to hurt myself so badly that I felt like my middle was going to fall apart. After giving DS his bottle, DH came and rubbed my back while I cried myself to sleep.
I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, I have so much to be great ful for. But in the middle of the night, all I could think of is that none of this would be happening if I wasn't pregnant. I'd be able to nurse my son, we'd all get a good night sleep. Both dh and I wouldn't be in trouble at work, constantly, because we are always cutting corners. A few missed days from the nanny wouldn't be an emergency because we're already missing so much work for pregnancy related things. And I'd be able to enjoy the last bit of DS's babyhood.
Mama, sorry your having such a bad day. I hope it gets better.
I'd say it's perfectly understandable that you're feeling frazzled with what you've been through lately. Breathe and go slowly, mama. Big hugs.
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