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Things I should never have to say... - Page 2

post #21 of 72
Do NOT flip the laundry basket over your brothers head and sit on it!
post #22 of 72
Your brother is NOT a target!

Don't squeeze the dog!

and my personal favorite, "please, PLEASE, don't feel me up!" My last little one loves the boobies
post #23 of 72
no you may not touch my bum.
please dont eat my shoe
we do not eat light bulbs
please stop poking your brother with your penis
post #24 of 72
No, we do not want to see your penis.

No, I do not think that man (precinct judge at the polling place), wants you to trim the hair in his ears with your laser (penlight).

Please do not save the poop in the potty so I can see how big it is.

No you can not feed the baby in my tummy by putting goldfish in my bellybutton.
post #25 of 72
"How in the hell did you fit this bean all the way up your nose?!"

"STOP playing with my nipple!!"- To DS(3.5) who is still nursing, and thinks my boobs are his lovie.
post #26 of 72
Your baby sister is NOT a TOY. Please do not treat her like one!
post #27 of 72
All of these had me laughing. Ah...toddlers.

Some of mine are:

No, we don't wipe boogers on the furniture.
Please get your finger out of your bum.
No, I don't want to smell it.
Quit pulling on your brother's penis...you have your own.

And...quit tea-bagging your father. Actually we didn't say that but that's what happened. Our 3 year old and 21 month old were running around naked after bath time and when Daddy got down on the floor to play with them...the 3 year old promptly climbed on his head and pushed his penis and scrotum on him. We laughed for a good 5 minutes which only encouraged more pouncing and fits of giggles from both little boys.

Good times....!!!
post #28 of 72
Don't put the bear in your pants.
post #29 of 72


Please stop swallowing pennies. Yes, I know you've never done it before but it's not really something to try.

Please stop stretching your penis like that, you're making daddy squirm.

No, I'm not kissing your butt. Yes, I know you hurt it but I do not kiss parts that are covered by your underwear.

Following a truly disgusted look on then toddler's face: Yes, poop tastes bad, please don't try and push it back into your diaper again, kay.
post #30 of 72
To my teens and pre-teens:

"Please take a shower. Make sure you use soap and shampoo."
post #31 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie64g View Post
Seriously? I cannot believe my kid is a booger eater.
They do outgrow this but it might take a year in school before it happens!
post #32 of 72
No you cannot use my bra to carry your dinosaurs around.

Please get your mouth off the ground.
post #33 of 72
Don't slam the door on the dog's tail. No, he doesn't think it's funny.
post #34 of 72
DS got a toy boat set for Christmas that came with a miature life preserver

"please don't put your penis through the life preserver"

and then just tonight, we had a conversation that involved me saying

"no. boogers are not for dinner."
post #35 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie64g View Post
"Do not pick your nose, and really dont eat it!"

Seriously? I cannot believe my kid is a booger eater.
It could be worse. Here's a frequent one at our house....

"Please STOP trying to eat my/Jason's toenails!"

:Puke Yes, my 7 year old has a habit of trying to bite our toenails if we aren't wearing socks. I throw up a little each time I see it happening
post #36 of 72
"Boys, please put the knives away." (swordfight)

"Please stop kissing my bottom"-to 3 year old who got a favorable response when he kissed my pregnant belly,then moved on to other parts.

"Take the snake back outside."

"No, you may not ride on top of the van."
post #37 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2goingon2 View Post

And...quit tea-bagging your father. Actually we didn't say that but that's what happened. Our 3 year old and 21 month old were running around naked after bath time and when Daddy got down on the floor to play with them...the 3 year old promptly climbed on his head and pushed his penis and scrotum on him. We laughed for a good 5 minutes which only encouraged more pouncing and fits of giggles from both little boys.

Good times....!!!
OMG I was already laughing at this thread, but yours takes the cake. I've got tears running down my eyes now!
post #38 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pavlovs View Post
OMG I was already laughing at this thread, but yours takes the cake. I've got tears running down my eyes now!
Along these lines:

"Stop trying to push your penis on Grandma!"

We haven't exactly been real honest about the *other* use for penises (besides peeing) so I have no idea how he figured out that pushing it on people was a good idea
post #39 of 72
Mommies underwear are NOT a necklace. (someone got into the DIRTY clothes hamper. He will not be happy if I share this when hes a teenager)
post #40 of 72
DO NOT try to put your dirty toes in the baby's mouth again. No it doesn't matter that it makes him laugh


Oh, and PLEASE in the middle of a store do not yell "MOM I HAD BUTT THUNDER" !! ( that's Ds1 calls a fart)
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