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Things I should never have to say... - Page 3

post #41 of 72
These are great!

The only one I can think of at the moment is: My bra is not a hat, please take it off.

I know there are more, though!
post #42 of 72
"Don't pee on the dog, again"
"Don't pee in the cat box" (that was my girl ?!)
"I know I won't let you put stuff in your ear, but don't put it in your brother's either. While, we're at it; nothing in your sister's ear, the dog's ear or the cat's ear"
post #43 of 72
"Please don't touch my mouth after your hands have been all over your penis. Nobody wants penis-hands."

"Don't rub your toilet-hands all over Mommy."

"Don't sit on Mommy's face when you're naked."
post #44 of 72
"We wear pants when we're outside."

That was during our town's Halloween parade. He had already taken off the top of his costume.
post #45 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belia View Post
"We wear pants when we're outside."
I've had to say that a time or two.

"Please don't drink the bath water. Your butt is in that water. It's butt water."
post #46 of 72
"Please clean your face first THEN your genitals(to ds), not the other way around!"
post #47 of 72
"No, you may not mop the windows!!"
post #48 of 72
"No you cannot lock yourself in the dog pen outside while naked and scream 'help me!'."

yep, that's my girl
post #49 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by anj_rn View Post
No, I do not think that man (precinct judge at the polling place), wants you to trim the hair in his ears with your laser (penlight).


this one's the best!

from my 4 yo dd: "why do old people look like monsters?"
post #50 of 72
We don't talk about the cat licking her butt while we eat dinner....
post #51 of 72
our biggest shocker that I NEVER ever imagined, I'd have to say, "Please, please put that book down and DO something."

We don't lick eyeballs.

Son, you can't hold a stick the size of a pencil in one hand while chopping at it with a hatchet in the other! (on the way to ER to have thumb reattached)

We don't "rope" PEOPLE! (think lasso)

(teacher to student, not parent to child, but) Your hands on her thighs is a NO!

But the puppy can't breathe!

Can you say "salmonella"? (eating w unwashed lizard-holding hands)
post #52 of 72
Please stop touching Peppers ( our dog) penis.... I dont care if he likes it

Shoes AND clothes are required to leave the house

If your brother isnt bleeding leave him alone he will stop crying

Put the poo back in the potty I dont want to see it
post #53 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mittsy View Post
"Please clean your face first THEN your genitals(to ds), not the other way around!"
I had to tell my husband this when he first started taking the kids into the shower with him. DUH!!!! You clean everything ELSE on their bodies first, THEN their butts.
post #54 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thyme Mama View Post
"No you cannot lock yourself in the dog pen outside while naked and scream 'help me!'."

yep, that's my girl
LOL DD did that a few times with the outdoor guinea pig run when she was 3. Since our yard is visible from the street I was a little concerned about a knock on the door
post #55 of 72
"No you may not pee in the garbage can. I don't care if it's right next to the toilet, it doesn't count."

post #56 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanine123 View Post
"No you may not pee in the garbage can. I don't care if it's right next to the toilet, it doesn't count."

Oh man. My mom was out with my son one day and he had to pee so bad that she pulled over and let him pee in the parking lot. Now he asks whenever we're out and he has to go. Side note, but, you reminded me of it.
post #57 of 72
You cannot spin the cat by the tail! (when dd was 4 and we adopted a new kitten, I told her he needed a bath before she played with him. A few minutes later, I look outside and see her dipping and swishing around what appeared to be one of her cat beanie babies in a mud puddle. Then she pulled it out and was spinning it. I realized fluffy was not in the house and started screaming and ran out to rescue poor kitty.)

Please stop sticking things up your nose, like popcorn kernals.

Explaining to the ER doctor why she has superglue up her nose. Only to find out that the reason he is laughing so hard is his close in age little girl did the same exact thing the week before, LOL.

Well, honey, no, I really do not think you got your first period....(I was saying this to my 7 or 8 yr old son)

You CANNOT bungy cord jump off the balcony in our house with some twine tied around your waist! You won't bounce back up!

Those are just a few....
post #58 of 72

my 18 mo old loves to toutre the cat, so often i say things throughout the day such as,

 

"do not jump on the cat"

"please don't pull the cat's tail"

"gentle touches, the kitty does not like to be slapped"

 

and, of course, "do not pick up the cat poop!!"

post #59 of 72

-The dog is NOT a horsie! (As my 20 month old tried to ride on our 14 lb dog)

 

-NO!!!  Don't eat the tick!  It's not a jellybean!! (gross.  It happened last easter.  The older kids were eating jellybeans and the baby didn't have any.  She was so happy when she found this grey jelly bean shaped thing on the floor and I caught her as she almost put it in her mouth.  Knowing she didn't have a jellybean, I ran over to see what it was...it was a bloated tick that had fallen off the dog.  OMG, I about puked.)

 

-Really, child, you're not a dog so stop eating like one.  (to the 6 year old who apparently would rather eat like a dog than a person.)

 

-That is NOT a potty chair!! 

 

And on that note...

 

-Please get your snack out of the potty chair!!!  BEFORE you sit on it!

post #60 of 72

Oh, and of course "please don't lick your sister....she's not a popsicle!".

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