Things I should never have to say... - Page 4

[AllyRae]

OMG!  LMAO!
 

Originally Posted by Lisa1970 

Well, honey, no, I really do not think you got your first period....(I was saying this to my 7 or 8 yr old son)

 

[Ravensong13]

To dd (2.5) ' We don't put things that have been in our vaginas on Mommy's nose. Actually, how about we just don't put things in our vaginas?'

This was when she was taking the jar opener gripper thing and rolling it up and trying to insert it and then asking if I'd wear it like a beak on my nose.

[muldey]

The cat is NOT a tissue.(said to my 6yo niece yesterday)

[siobhang]

do not lick the bottom of your shoes.

[anne1140]

At school with 5 and 6-year-olds:

No, I do not want to see your used tissue!

Spit the wood chip out...You ATE it?

Get the Cheerio out of your nose!

Please stop licking the table.

Please don't lick the bottom of your shoe.

Please don't chase other people around the bathroom with your pants down.

No, you may not pee into the urinal at the same time.

Why are you eating your paper?

You think the oral stuff is over by this age...well, it's not!

I'm sure I have more. These are just from this year. 

[fuzzylogic]

Don't sit on the refrigerator---22 month old daughter

the dog is NOT a stepstool---same daughter, same age

You are not a puppy.  Get out of the whelping box!...son, age 3

I don't care if the dog is out on the roof.  You can't go there too!...old house, I had a german shepherd that would go out onto the porch roof.  Kid wanted to follow.

You have boobs, you have to wear a shirt.

I can't wait til they have children. 

[OkiMom]

Yesterday I caught myself telling my 2 year old to get her hand out of her sisters butt.. I said it, stopped and laughed. My girls gave me the weirdest looks.

[Smithie]

This morning: No, I am NOT a "single mother." Your father is on a business trip. Who let you watch daytime TV? 

[blizzard_babe]

"You can't walk through the hotel stark naked. Please pull your swimsuit up, the whole world doesn't need to see your dupa."

[minxin]

These are all hilarious! We've moved on to "No you can't have a death ray/doomsday device/flux capacitor in the house!"

"No, not even if you wear goggles."

"No, not even in the yard, the neighbors won't like it either."

[lach]

As I was reading this thread, I said "Your doctor set is for Dolly, not for the baby.  Please stop giving the baby shots."

[nmb]

Don't lick the dog's (tail, ear, foot, eye....)

No, we don't eat stuff out of the dog's mouth.

Don't climb on the laundry basket when it's on daddy's head.

No, you can't play dodge ball while you're climbing trees. One or the other.