Separation issues with my 4 month old, is this normal?

[ArtsyHeartsy]

I guess I just don't remember this at all with my dd1. DD is almot 4 months old and since she was born (except for the first couple of weeks) she only wants me to hold her. If she looks at someone's face and/or realizes the person is not me her bottom lip sticks out and she starts crying.

I left her for one hour tonight and she was hysterical the whole time and that was with my husband. I had left her for about 15 minutes before with my SIL and she did the same thing, I thought she would be fine with my husband though. The other day I had to do a test online and she freaked out with him and I had to take her and she instantly stops crying.

I just don't know what to do, it's kind of sweet and of course flattering in some strange way, but I have to be able to leave her with her dad sometimes. I need to be able to spend time with dd1 sometimes too, individually.

I have also just made my schedule for next semester, starting mid Jan. (she will be 6 mos) and I have to go to school one day for the entire day (9-9) and another day for most of the day, I am VERY, VERY sad about that, but if I don't I will be in school for even longer and since it's an hour away I really need to finish and start working (still about one and a half years away)....anyway, my point is that I am scared to leave her. I was lucky to get this semester online and stay home with her....but to know she's unhappy and an hour away is just heart-breaking.

Should I be comforting her and spending as much time as possible with her all day (which is what I do and prefer) or should we be working on her being okay with Daddy and my MIL? (she will also be helping with her when I go to school)

Isn't it way too early for separation/stranger anxiety? It's just so sad when she reacts that way.

[katelove]

I just checked the Babycentre milestones chart and it says that separation anxiety can begin at 5 months so sounds like your LO is starting a little bit early but not too much.

I don't really have any advice. My instinct would be to honour her need for you and be with her as much as you can knowing that it is totally normal and she'll grow out of it. When that's not possible at least you know that she is with someone who loves her and who she loves (even if she doesn't want to be with them right then). Not easy though!

[penguintattoo]

My daughter was like that from 6 weeks-4ish months. I have no idea why, and it offended a lot of people but there was nothing I could do about it. I've found the more mobile she gets the more she likes people. She is 11 months now and unless its a complete stranger she is fine, you would never know she was like that as a baby, so there is definitely hope for you and your LO!

[ArtsyHeartsy]

Thanks! I think people do get offended, people even tell me I need to "get her used to other people" How exactly do I do that? Show her pictures?

She has been that way for a long time and seems a little better, but not much, I hope she grows out of it some before I go back to school!

[Asiago]

It seems quite normal to me, it's instinctive for an infant to remain close to mother for matter of survival. This link is helpful:
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/melvin_konner.html

[penguintattoo]

Originally Posted by ArtsyHeartsy

Thanks! I think people do get offended, people even tell me I need to "get her used to other people" How exactly do I do that? Show her pictures?

She has been that way for a long time and seems a little better, but not much, I hope she grows out of it some before I go back to school!

My MIL was so offended she would start blaming it on me for breastfeeding and other crazy stuff. I just left DD as little as possible, and she grew out of it. I think it all has to do with the personality of the baby. My mom said I was the same way as an infant, but it lasted til I was closer to a year. I honestly don't think there is much you can do about it, its not like you can sit her down and reason with her.