PAL (pregnancy after loss) mama's - Page 29
ooh! good news Javilu! a boy- that's exciting, and good vibes are good
reading the other posts here, I think it's helped me define the shift i had a few weeks ago- it was the shift from miscarriage to stillbirth. I'm 24 weeks on saturday- which puts me into viability. It blows my mind that i could potentially have a surviving baby so soon. But the Big But for me is that my daughter was 6 weeks early. she was ok, but we had to work so hard. I'm thinking i have a bit of residual trauma from that whole experience that i'm trying to work out. I'm not afraid of loosing this baby any more, im afraid of the premie factor- here's to hoping this little muffin can hold on for the duration! all our little ones!
javilu, that's great! When will you get the final word on the results? Soon, I hope.
Yay, slippy, for hitting viability! That's a big milestone for me (I'm not there yet), but DH gets so stressed out at the thought of a preemie that I can't even really mention it to him. It stresses me out too, but not nearly as much as the thought of a stillbirth.
Why the full bladder? I'm going for my u/s today and was not told to have a full bladder. I remember having to do that 20+ years ago when I was pg with #1 but never had to do it with #2 or #3. (Not that it matters because after an hour and half drive my bladder will be full regardless. )
slippy ~ That's a big milestone. 24w is viable now? Wow! I thought it was 29+ weeks.
I've been thinking about the miscarriage vs. stillborn discussion. That had never even occurred to me. I think a stillbirth would be much more traumatic for me than a miscarriage. But all my miscarriages occurred very early so there wasn't really a baby to look at and feel like miscarriage didn't apply.
My kids have all gone at least a day over their EDDs so I'm not very concerned about having a preemie, either. I know it's a possibility but I don't think it's very likely for me. Whenever I hear or read about someone else who has just had a preemie, I worry. I think that would be very traumatic to me, too. I don't think I could leave my baby at a hospital, especially since I'm not even planning to go to one. The whole thing is just too much for me to consider.
FWIW, I've had 2 friends who's firsts were early. They were concerned that all their subsequent babies would be early, too. They ended up waiting past their EDDs with #s 2 and 3 and getting very anxious because they had convinced themselves the babies would be early.
I woke up in the middle of the night last night feeling very sick. I thought I was going to throw up. I ended up awake for a couple of hours with diahrrea. Anyway, I started thinking about my u/s and realized that I'm more worried than I thought. We have planned for my dh to stay home with the LOs while I go by myself. It's a long drive and then a long ultrasound and a tiny room so the kids would get very restless. They've already expressed that they do not want to go. Now I'm thinking maybe I should make my dh come in case I need him. IDK I don't want to force the kids and have to listen to all the fussing about it, though.
Good luck today MW. I know the struggle with needing DH to be with you but not wanting to go through the hassle of dragging the kids along. I hope you can figure out a solution that's best for you.
I've been thinking about the viability thing a lot. I watch the Duggars (19 Kids and Counting) and their last baby was born at 25 weeks and she was SOOOOOO tiny! I think from 24-27 weeks they are referred to as micro preemie. I'm 21 weeks and the thought of delivering this little one now breaks my heart whenever I think about it. I'm fairly certain the Duggar baby was in the hospital well past her due date and she had and still has so many issues.
I'm jealous of all you ladies already at your anatomy scan! Mine isn't until next Friday! I feel like it is taking forever to get to. I was having a really rough time earlier this week. I thought about posting but intellectually, I knew it was all in my head and I just needed to let it go. But I had a couple of days there where I was second guessing all the movement I would feel and then if I didn't feel the baby in the morning, I would freak out. Also, the shape of my stomach changed and I felt like I could almost completely suck in my belly and make it disappear. But this morning, right after I woke up, this little one did such a somersault that it almost made me throw up! And then DH put his hand on my stomach and he was able to feel her moving around for the first time! It was so amazing. I know she's in there and that she's fine but I just get so freaked out sometimes! I know you ladies can understand that.
We've decided to all go to the u/s today. DH will just take the kids out if they get too restless. My level II was originally scheduled for 2 weeks from now but I got it pushed up by declining the fetal echocardiogram. That was, apparently, the only reason to have it so late (22 weeks) and from everything I've read and was told it is not necessary for me at this point. I'm 19w6d today so we still should be able to see all the organs just fine and gender if baby will cooperate.
But I had a couple of days there where I was second guessing all the movement I would feel and then if I didn't feel the baby in the morning, I would freak out. Also, the shape of my stomach changed and I felt like I could almost completely suck in my belly and make it disappear. But this morning, right after I woke up, this little one did such a somersault that it almost made me throw up!
I've had a few days like this too. Then yesterday, she was like a little acrobat all day. Total relief, yk? I'm sure she was kicking like crazy all along; she was just probably kicking my back or something. Also, I feel like what happens is that my stomach seems huge and then it seems the same for a while, then it seems huge, then it seems the same. And when it's not huge, I always feel like it's getting smaller. Of course it's not really.
Back from my u/s. It went well. The doc said things couldn't look any better. I'm definitely having another boy. I could tell even before the tech started looking. Baby was moving around the entire time but I only felt it a few random times. The tech kept commenting that he wouldn't stay still. I think he has an aversion to ultrasound because he always moves away from the fetal doppler when my MW is trying to get his heart rate, too.
Great news on a healthy baby boy!
Thanks, Annie. I have a question for you totally OT about the Duggars since I think it was you who mentioned following that show. I don't follow it but I did hear that their last baby was born premature. I was wondering if they knew why she was so early and if it was something that they are at risk of having occur again. Do you know?
The mom developed gall bladder issues as well as pre-E at around 21-23 weeks. They tried to postpone delivery to give the baby longer but it wasn't working so they had to end up taking her. I think the mom had to end up having her gall bladder removed about six months ago so that shouldn't be a recurring problem but the pre-E could be. I seem to recall her saying in an interview that she has had pre-E with some of her pregnancies but not with others.
It's interesting because they've interviewed her OB a number of times on the show and she has always said that Michelle is in great health and tolerates pregnancy and delivery well. I would worry about organ prolapse, etc. from so many deliveries. I do wonder about things from the PAL perspective. She openly talks about the miscarriage that she had after her first child and before she got pregnant with her first set of twins. She blames that one on the fact that she was taking birth control and didn't know she was pregnant. With the number of women on these boards that have RPL, I just wonder if she suffered any losses after that? We probably should take this convo to PM because I'm guessing we're bordering on getting this thread shut down!
21 weeks...it feels surreal that I'm more than half way to the finish line...and for some sick reason I am really happy that no matter what happens this cannot be another "miscarriage." For some reason losing Parker at 16 weeks and having it be "just a miscarriage" was maddening...I lost my son, my baby boy died...but it was "just a miscarriage." No matter what happens with this little guy now he at least would get to be a stillborn...I'm hoping with all hope that we end up with a kicking screaming crying baby this time around...but for now I will be happy that we our out of miscarriage territory. Maybe it is just me but it feels like a milestone. This little guy also likes to kick me to reassure me that he's still around...seems so surreal that I might have a baby at the end of this really long journey!
Names are proving to be really really tricky....girl's name would have been Elizabeth and we would have called her Elle or Libby...but for a boy I'm stumped.
I've felt that same way...that if she dies too, it'll count this time...to everyone else, as well as me. I have a baby loss mom friend who understands what I mean when I have these feelings, and when I told her about that, she agreed that she felt the same. (She lost her son early 2nd trimester in November of 2009 and her daughter was born Jan 2011.)
Hi everyone! Just wanted to stop by and say hi. I haven't been online too much, not feeling like I have anything intelligent to say. I'm 23w and definitely loosing mobility by the day. I'm trying to spend as much time on the couch as possible. I'm not on bedrest, just trying to keep these babies cooking as long as possible. So far my blood pressure is good and my cervix was 3.6cm last time. At my 22w u/s the babies were estimated to be 1lb 1oz, 1lb and 14oz so we'll see how much they've grown when I go back this week.
****Loss mentioned******* ( not me, a friend)
I just really wanted to check in with everyone, make sure we're all okay.
I have a good friend who just lost her baby at 22 weeks. I can't even imagine. I really tormented over talking about this here because i don't want to bring up any more fears in mammas who might be starting to feel safe, and i'm so sorry if this is distressing anyone as much as me, but I really needed to talk about it. I'm getting lots of good movement, and i'm really reassured by that. I'm not so much scared of loosing this one anymore. I'm 30 weeks, getting into OK premie territory, I did a 34 weeker last time, I could do it again if i had to. I feel guilty about still being pregnant, and wish i could be there for her, but i compleatly understand if she can't be around me. I brought her a care package today and we talked a little, mostly just hugged and cried. I let her know that i understand if she needs me to be away, or if she'd like me closer- whatever she needs from me. I just feel so awful for her. this is such a nightmare. I can't stop crying. I just remember my terror at that early 20 week mark. it's just so unfair
i am about to drift off, but i will take this chance to check in quickly. i'm 26w3d tomorrow and feeling pretty healthy, other than getting over a cold/cough. starting to feel good kicks (i have an anterior placenta, so i don't feel them as much as i'd like). passed my glucose test. finally gained some weight. loving zantac!!
hugs to all.