I keep coming back to post here, I'm embarresed. We have a huge fight, I don't know what to do, then things smooth over for awhile. So please forgive me if I'm over it in a few days, but when I'm in the middle of it, it just sucks!
Last night started with a bad bedtime with the kids. The would not listen, settle down etc. They share a room, we told them tomorrw we would seperate their rooms. Dh gets super angry and says "lets just do it now" and literally starts ripping dd2 bed apart and moving it into the other room. He moves the whole thing, breaks a picture in the process. Kids are crying. I"m trying to settle them down. dh just goes down the hall and shuts their doors.
So, now we start in on each other. I'm sad he broke my picture. He says it's my fault bc in was in a place it shouldn't have been. We are yelling at each other. I'm a bad parent because all I do is talk and don't follow through. Finally kids calm down and go to sleep. We take a break from each other for about an hour. I go up to the bedroom and the argument continues about parenting, calling each other names etc. He goes down the hall to shut of the kids lights while we are still arguing, I say something argumentative, he throws a glass of ice water in my face. Earlier he dumped a drink out on the floor (carpet). When I told hime that was really an adult thing to do, he said "lucky I didn't dump it on your head".
Back to the bedroom we keep arguing. I try and take his book away. He slaps my hand and says "don't touch me". I keep arguing, he says just leave him alone. Then tells me it's because I act like this that he has to throw water at me. I start bawling, he tries to apoligize (half heartedly). I go downstairs.
Earlier, in the midst of the fight I told I have to check everything I do with him, felt like he could do whatever he wants, etc. So he comes back saying I accused him of "controlling" me. So now I can take over all the money and do whatever I want. He says "why do you stay?" and I said "bc we have 2 kids together", he says "well what did we do that for?"
so I said " if you don't want us here we can leave" and he says go.
So later I try and point out that we do say things out of anger, like what he said above. Just like I said out of anger the "controlling" things. He gets angry again, Totally defending himself.
There is so much of this stupid "oh your so perfect" blah blah blah. Tons of swearing and name calling (mostly on his part, though I do some too). It's like our conversations just go in circles. When we do fight like this I start to realize I change some of who I really am to keep his moods down. Yes, I check in with him on any plans, money spending etc, so he doesn't blow up about it later.
Sorry so long. I'm responsible for my part in this too, not saying I just sat back why he acted like a jerk. But I feel the things he did are so much worse! He just doens't get it. Instead of being adult and saying yep, I acted like a jerk, he just keeps turning everying around so it's my fault. No matter what it is. He takes no responsiblity. If I were stricter with the kids than no of this would have happend, etc. It's like the world revolves around him and doesn't care if we are in it or not
Ugh, thanks for reading.
Last night started with a bad bedtime with the kids. The would not listen, settle down etc. They share a room, we told them tomorrw we would seperate their rooms. Dh gets super angry and says "lets just do it now" and literally starts ripping dd2 bed apart and moving it into the other room. He moves the whole thing, breaks a picture in the process. Kids are crying. I"m trying to settle them down. dh just goes down the hall and shuts their doors.
So, now we start in on each other. I'm sad he broke my picture. He says it's my fault bc in was in a place it shouldn't have been. We are yelling at each other. I'm a bad parent because all I do is talk and don't follow through. Finally kids calm down and go to sleep. We take a break from each other for about an hour. I go up to the bedroom and the argument continues about parenting, calling each other names etc. He goes down the hall to shut of the kids lights while we are still arguing, I say something argumentative, he throws a glass of ice water in my face. Earlier he dumped a drink out on the floor (carpet). When I told hime that was really an adult thing to do, he said "lucky I didn't dump it on your head".
Back to the bedroom we keep arguing. I try and take his book away. He slaps my hand and says "don't touch me". I keep arguing, he says just leave him alone. Then tells me it's because I act like this that he has to throw water at me. I start bawling, he tries to apoligize (half heartedly). I go downstairs.
Earlier, in the midst of the fight I told I have to check everything I do with him, felt like he could do whatever he wants, etc. So he comes back saying I accused him of "controlling" me. So now I can take over all the money and do whatever I want. He says "why do you stay?" and I said "bc we have 2 kids together", he says "well what did we do that for?"
so I said " if you don't want us here we can leave" and he says go.
So later I try and point out that we do say things out of anger, like what he said above. Just like I said out of anger the "controlling" things. He gets angry again, Totally defending himself.
There is so much of this stupid "oh your so perfect" blah blah blah. Tons of swearing and name calling (mostly on his part, though I do some too). It's like our conversations just go in circles. When we do fight like this I start to realize I change some of who I really am to keep his moods down. Yes, I check in with him on any plans, money spending etc, so he doesn't blow up about it later.
Sorry so long. I'm responsible for my part in this too, not saying I just sat back why he acted like a jerk. But I feel the things he did are so much worse! He just doens't get it. Instead of being adult and saying yep, I acted like a jerk, he just keeps turning everying around so it's my fault. No matter what it is. He takes no responsiblity. If I were stricter with the kids than no of this would have happend, etc. It's like the world revolves around him and doesn't care if we are in it or not
Ugh, thanks for reading.
He then said he would clean that up but not the picture that broke, becuase that was my fault that it was in the wrong place.
