Help - Transition from Infant to Toddler at Daycare, Extended BF - WWYD or BTDT?? xposted EBF

[leam811]

Mamas, I just need some others to weigh in with experience here. I work full time. My 15 mo DD has in the last couple of weeks transitioned from the Infant room to the Toddler room at daycare.

She was still drinking 2 bottles (~4 oz each) of breast milk per day in Infant, and I have been able to nurse her at lunch as well ever since she's been there. In Toddler, they don't give bottles. I've been sending bm in sippy cups but she's not interested in drinking it that way. (She eats solids but was slow to start, and is picky.)

The lunchtime nursing we (the teachers and I) decided to suspend last week, in an effort to help the naptime transition. After a couple of days, she went down just fine for naps on her little cot, with all the others. Amazing.

So, she has not been getting any breast milk at daycare for the last week and a half or so. Now it seems she is reverse cycling in a MAJOR way, wanting to nurse all night long the last few nights. Which as you probably know is, uh, challenging.

I have had hopes of returning to the midday nursing session, so I tried it today. But the goodbye was a nightmare.

What do you think? Is that bit of nursing/comfort at midday worth the upset of a second goodbye? Or would you leave her be, and make up for it by nursing at home (and all night long, apparently)? I wish she could tell me herself, you know? I think probably avoiding the midday meltdown/additional stress is more important, but I'd just love to hear from other mamas who've been through something similar. This is one of those many times I wish I didn't have to work!

Thanks for reading.

[caenach]

Is your DCP completely firm on not giving bottles in the toddler room at all? Can you move the noon nursing to be after naptime and see if that makes the transition any easier?

We also gave up our noon nursing when DD transitioned to the toddler nap schedule, because it got too disruptive and traumatic for all of us. And yes, she did reverse cycle a bit. My personal experience has been that after a short adjustment period, the nighttime nursing calmed down somewhat and DD adjusted to eat a little more during the day and I got used to nursing sessions while asleep and it all sort of worked itself out.

You probably already have this kind of thing down...but just to note. I tried to make sure that DD had solid foods offered for breakfast AND a substantial nursing session before daycare in the morning. Packed variety over quantity in her lunches, in the hopes that she'd eat SOMETHING. Had snacks in the car at pickup to offer on the drive home. Planned on immediate reconnection/marathon nursing session upon arriving home (late dinners, sure, but hey, kept us sane!). And made sure to offer lots of food all evening/night long (not just a "meal," but constant access) in the hopes of curbing some of the crazy night nursing.

I say all this, but DD still nurses at night quite a bit. I'm pretty sure she'd do that even if she nursed all day long, to be honest. But who knows.....

[leam811]

Thank you so much for your reply, caenach. I can't tell you how helpful it is to just hear from someone else who's done this. Your tips on offering lots of (varied) food are great. She definitely nurses a lot in the morning before we go too. I think you're right (and my gut is right) that dropping the noon session is best for her, to avoid all that extra separation trauma. I just need to get myself adjusted to this new schedule too.

[One_Girl]

My dd entered daycare in the toddler stage of looping and I nursed her right before dropping off and right after picking her up before we left the daycare. She did nurse at night a time or two more, but I was a co-sleeper and once I got used to it I was able to go back to sleeping through it.

[JoyFilled]

Same thing here. But DD didn't start day care until she was 12 months. She is 18 months now. I nurse in the morning, after daycare (there at first now not till we get home), before bed and at most once a night.

I also make sure she has cereal (the baby stuff still) just before bed to fill her up.

If your DD is teething that would increase night time nursing too.

[Maggie05]

Both my children nursed for a long time (2 1/2 years for my son, and 5 years for my daughter). I went back to work when they were about one, and did not send breast milk with them. They nursed in the morning, and after school/through the night. Co-sleeping was the answer for me. I mostly slept right through it, although I do remember some nights being frustrated with the frequency of it. All in all, though, I have no regrets, and two very healthy children!

[waiting2bemommy]

I hate to tell you, but I went through this EXACT thing with my ds at 13 months....I worked at a daycare and he was in toddler 1's while I worked mainly in infants. He didnt take bottles but I tried to nruse him at lunchtime. The good bye was horrible every time. I jsut had to stop doing it.

He did reverse cycle at night although eating a good dinner and then a filling snack (like banana) right before bed, helped.

I think it is definitely a good idea to leave bottles behind in the infant room. If he doesn't want to drinkg from a sippy, what about a straw cup? If not, at 15 months I'm sure he will be just fine going without while you are at work. And in a few more months you might be able to partially nightwean with minimal trauma, so that you can limit nursing to bedtime and waking up, or soemthing like that.