Help - Transition from Infant to Toddler at Daycare, Extended BF - WWYD or BTDT?? xposted...

[leam811]

Mamas, I just need some others to weigh in with experience here. I work full time. My 15 mo DD has in the last couple of weeks transitioned from the Infant room to the Toddler room at daycare.

She was still drinking 2 bottles (~4 oz each) of breast milk per day in Infant, and I have been able to nurse her at lunch as well ever since she's been there. In Toddler, they don't give bottles. I've been sending bm in sippy cups but she's not interested in drinking it that way. (She eats solids but was slow to start, and is picky.)

The lunchtime nursing we (the teachers and I) decided to suspend last week, in an effort to help the naptime transition. After a couple of days, she went down just fine for naps on her little cot, with all the others. Amazing.

So, she has not been getting any breast milk at daycare for the last week and a half or so. Now it seems she is reverse cycling in a MAJOR way, wanting to nurse all night long the last few nights. Which as you probably know is, uh, challenging.

I have had hopes of returning to the midday nursing session, so I tried it today. But the goodbye was a nightmare.

What do you think? Is that bit of nursing/comfort at midday worth the upset of a second goodbye? Or would you leave her be, and make up for it by nursing at home (and all night long, apparently)? I wish she could tell me herself, you know? I think probably avoiding the midday meltdown/additional stress is more important, but I'd just love to hear from other mamas who've been through something similar. This is one of those many times I wish I didn't have to work!

Thanks for reading.

[EmmaJane]

I hear you, mama. I also was pumping and going in at lunchtime when DD2 was in the infant room, and also dropped the lunchtime visit because of naptime concerns in the toddler room.

And DD2 (now 17 months) also takes terrific naps at daycare, doesn't eat much solid food (although more there than at home), and is now reverse cycling like crazy...

... I kept on pumping for about 5 months after the toddler transition, getting 4-8 ounces. She drank about half of that during the day and the rest in the car on the way home. But now I've stopped that, and we're still not at equilibrium...

It is very hard. DD1 slept MUCH better, and somehow got her nursing in in the mornings and evenings at that age... never really took pumped milk at all. The sleep deprivation is totally making me a less nice and less effective person, at work and at home.

I think one thing that's been going on for us is near-continual teething... sometimes we'll get a couple of days when DD2 eats much more solid food and sleeps better, but then she goes back to her "standard" pattern. I found 3 molars breaking through last week... and this week she has an ear infection and a cold, so sleep is AWFUL (waking up every hour or so) and solid food intake has dropped to zero.

Hang in there! I don't have any advice... but wanted to let you know you're not alone.

[LCBMAX]

Originally Posted by leam811

What do you think? Is that bit of nursing/comfort at midday worth the upset of a second goodbye?

Noooo! Speaking as the still-nursing mom of a toddler who just moved into the preschool room, and he started in the toddler room at 20 months, but only half days - I think that the security he developed with his teachers at school has been invaluable for his growing independence. Granted he was older and got to nurse at pick up, but when he moved into the whole day schedule, he just made up for it on weekends and evening nursing. (We nightweaned at 25months.) If you can hack it when she makes up for it at night, I think doing the goodbye twice is too much strain on a little one.

Anyway, that's my approach now as my guy is deep in a new phase of separation anxiety. I'm giving him 1000% evenings, nights, and weekends, and letting the school day be a break for both of us.

[leam811]

Oh ladies, THANK YOU for your replies. I feel so relieved at having perspective from mamas who have been through this, I even teared up a little, reading them. The toddler teachers are kind, but look a little askance at me as I try and work all this out - suddenly breastfeeding is a foreign word in the toddler room as opposed to the infant room.

Yes, I think the noon nursing will go, to avoid that extra separation trauma, and we'll make up for it in other ways. And teething is definitely playing into this as well.

I'd say this transition to toddler is just as emotional for me as it is for her - even just dealing with the logistical changes. Like, looking at her bottles on the rack in the kitchen and getting weepy (!). A little ridiculous, but you know what I mean.

I am still pumping twice a day at work, but now freezing most of the milk (I have a single male friend about to adopt, and I'm hoping to provide some breast milk for his babe).

Anyway, I'm rambling a little, but I SO appreciate you guys chiming in.