What do I need to do differently if on medication?

[lovepiggie]

I think I've reached my breaking point, and need to go on medication. I finally admitted to my husband that I've been planning on killing myself after DS weans... But I love my DS, and I don't want to. I just feel like I have to...

I'm worried that if I go on medication, I will no longer be able to cosleep and/or breastfeed... Which are the only two things I feel like I am doing right.

Will I still be able to? Does anybody cosleep on medication? What about breastfeeding?

[lisasaurus]

Oh mama, i'm sorry you are feeling so bad! I think medication is a great idea right now. Kudos to you for recognizing that you need some additional help. Cosleeping and breastfeeding on zoloft are both fine. Many of us have done it and feel good about it.

You are doing so many things "right," don't sell yourself short. Getting help is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing!

[Bokonon]

I'm so sorry you've been struggling - it sounds like you DEFINITELY need to be on medication.

Zoloft is considered very safe for breastfeeding. It is fine to co-sleep as well, because Zoloft will not make you excessively tired. I've been on Zoloft for years, through pregnancies with both my kids and while nursing them, and I'm on the maximum dose.

Please get help right away. I know when you are at your darkest point, suicide seems like a normal thought, but it's not, and when you get well, you will realize what a mistake it would have been.

(((hugs)))

[mlec]

I hope you get the help you need, and, even if on medication, also get some help with nutritional therapy, which helps address underlying nutrional deficiencies that cause depression, and can really shorten your duration on meds.

Good luck!

[eclipse]

I breastfed and coslept on anti-d meds - paxil at one point and Welbutrin later on. Get your self healthy (((hugs)))). If they give you something like xanax for anxiety, I probably wouldn't take that near bedtime and cosleep. Even half a xanax totally knocks me out and I wouldn't feel able to respond to my kids' needs appropriately, especially when cosleeping - I wouldn't take that unless there was another respinsible adult in the house, at least until you know how it affects you.

[lovepiggie]

Thank you all for your responses...It's just such a relief to know that somebody believes me. I never wanted to tell anyone, because I was so worried that no one would think it was serious... Even my husband, when I told him, just said not to think like that and that he would let me have a nap later. I've been trying for weeks to get him to find out the insurance information from his school, because I'm on his health plan, and he just keeps putting it off, and it just feels like he doesn't believe me.

I will look into zoloft... I don't have a doctor, so I will go to the medi center tomorrow... thank you..

[ferra]

I am so glad you told us how you are feeling. Know that you are not alone! Keep breastfeeding and co-sleeping! Go tell a doctor everything about how you are feeling. Try the Zoloft and get some good B vitamins to help with your stress level-you may be really depleated. Did you go in to medicenter today? Keep us updated PLEASE!

[lovepiggie]

I tried to go to the medicenter today, but I had my son with me, and by the time I got there, the waiting room was packed. It is open 7 days a week, so I will try again tomorrow, and leave DS with DH.

I'm worried about talking to the doctor - I don't know if he will give me medication if he is not my family doctor, KWIM? I'm really anxious about it.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

He should give you the med. I know exactly what you mean about no one believing you I didnt go to the Dr for 3 months after dd was born because of 2 main reasons. 1)afraid I could not bfed on meds I wasnt giving up bfing for any reason because it was my connection to dd the only one at times 2)fear of not being believed or him making me feel worse.

My dh was also in major denial about how bad off I was it took my mom talking to him to get him to understand and encourage me to get help. I bfed both my kids on zoloft with no issues for them at all. Zoloft only comes through the milk in very small amounts almost unmeasurable so it is by far the safest med there is while nursing.

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

i cosleep and pump milk for ds; am taking zoloft 50 mg

[LynnS6]

My heart breaks to hear you say this. PPD is sooo hard.

I co-slept on medication. I breastfed on medication. If you're on sleep medications, then you should not co-sleep and you need to be careful about breastfeeding. But there's nothing wrong with breastfeeding and regular old SSRIs.

Does your health center offer counseling too? Both meds and counseling can be helpful.

[lovepiggie]

OP here... Just a quick update on how things are going with me.

I went to the doctor, and he was really wonderful. I really felt he understood me, and listened to what I was saying. He had me fill out a referral form to the mental health services thing, and they've already called me and scheduled an interview, so that they can get a better idea of where I'm at and what they can do to help me. He also sent me for blood and urine tests, to see if I have any thyroid problems. He also started me on a low dose of Zoloft!

I feel good that I'm actually doing something about this, rather than just letting it ruin my life... The medication has made me pretty sick to my stomach, and I've lost a bit of my appetite, but otherwise I haven't had any side effects. I feel more..neutral about things, too.

[fralla]

I remember when I was dragged into my doctor's office by my husband after my daughter was born.  I was so afraid of going on medication too because I didn't want to stop breastfeeding since it was the only thing that I thought that I was doing right.  I was relieved to find out that I could breastfeed while on my meds.  I'm so happy for you that you got some medication to help you start working through this.  Dealing with PPD has made me more self-aware and truthful with how I'm feeling.  Now I'm pregnant with my second baby and still on my meds and feeling much better.

[2goingon2]

Originally Posted by lovepiggie 

I feel good that I'm actually doing something about this, rather than just letting it ruin my life... The medication has made me pretty sick to my stomach, and I've lost a bit of my appetite, but otherwise I haven't had any side effects. I feel more..neutral about things, too.

So glad you got help.  Someone once told me suicide is a permanent solution to what can be a temporary problem.  I have suffered from depression off and on my entire adult life.  Anti-depressants saved me.  Zoloft gave me the same side effects you are having but they evened out and passed within a week.  I understand what you said about neutral...that's a good way to put it.  Sometimes I felt flat.  Not miserable, not overly happy but just...neutral.  And, that was still so much better than feeling what I had before the meds.  It does get better. 

Again, so very glad you got help.  Your sweet little baby needs his mama.  Good luck and peace to you....

[nutritionistmom]

My psychiatrist told me that pretty much the only drugs they don't recommend you bf on are the heavy duty anti-pyscotics.  I'm a bf counsellor and had already come to that conculsion myself from my research but it was nice to hear it backed up.  I hope you can get some help quickly. 

[whozeyermamma]

I came here to post something else - but had to respond to you - very glad to see that you got on the zoloft - it was a miracle drug for me - I also cosleep and nurse with it. I know what you mean about your suicidal thoughts - I don't feel like I want to kill myself, but when things are bad I feel like it wouldn't matter to my DS, my older DD or my DH if I was dead. It's not a good place to be.

Hang in there - and do follow up with the mental health services!!