How to get my toddler to eat "regular" food?

[IndigoKoi]

Hello! It's been a long time since I've been on this forum, but I need to get some advice from other parents out there.

So, I have a 2 year old son (just turned 2 in October). When he was an infant, he was a great eater. I made all his baby food and made really great combinations for him and he always ate everything, no problem. Around 12-18 months, he became a little more selective, but still ate the food I would cook for our meals, but wanted it more plain. Well, for the past few months, he has become completely picky. Pretty much only wants bread, or bread like foods (pancakes), or things that are meant to be treats like cookies or chocolate. We try not to give him the treats and what not or cater too much to his specific requests like having toast all the time, b/c I do want him to at least have a bite or two of the meals I cook.
For example, tonight I made a pretty kid friendly dinner of chicken breasts with apple gravy on the side, sauteed green beans (I know he doesn't eat those) and a rice pilaf (brown rice cooked with chicken broth and cheese and peas stirred in). He wanted no part of it. He only wanted a cookie. I kept telling him he can have a cookie after he eats his dinner. Tantrums ensued. I finally bribed him to eat two bites of chicken, and then gave him a small piece of cookie after. I really don't want him to get used to always getting his way, but at the same time I know how stubborn he is (he's my child after all!) and he will absolutely let himself starve and then get even crankier b/c his blood sugar is probably low. I also don't want to starve my child b/c he is already quite light for his age. He's only 23 lbs, and I don't want him to lose weight. He's healthy and super active, just slim.

I feel it's particularly difficult this time of the year, b/c everyone keeps giving us gifts of cookies or chocolate etc, so it's in the house. Where as other times of the year we really are very limited on the treats we have in the house.

So what do I do? Let him starve until he gets hungry enough to eat what I cook? Give in and let him eat a very unbalanced diet? Neither?

Sorry for the long post, and TIA

[oaktreemama]

My son is only 24 lbs at 29 months. I still decided to follow Ellen Satter and have not been disappointed. I was offering him things he ate willingly the day before and would refuse the next day. I was offering him Mac-n-Cheese he loved last week and would refuse.

So out of desparation I got Child of Mine and followed it to the letter. And it has worked. I make a good dinner from scratch every night. It is his choice whether to eat it or not.

And just as an example-I have been giving him a tbsp of mashed potatoes for a month and he refused it every time. The other night he ate every last bite and now eats mashers willingly.

Keep the portions very small (literally a tbsp you can always give more) serve him his meal and than let him choose what to do with it.

[IndigoKoi]

Thanks, Oaktreemama.

I too, take a lot of pride in cooking our meals from scratch every night. I also offer him the foods and make him a plate for dinner and pack it for his lunch just so he sees it in hopes he will eventually try it. I will look up the book you mentioned and I hope it will help me out too!

[ssh]

It's really common for toddlers to become picky at that age. The evolutionary reason for wanting to eat sweet things is that in nature they aren't poisonous while bitter things sometimes are. Also toddlers have decreased their growth rate and need less food. What we did to keep our DDs diet healthy was to only buy foods we wanted her to eat. So things like cookies are only very occasionally available. If some one gave us more than we wanted in the house my DH would bring them to work. We don't usually buy white grain products so I don't mind if my DD wants toast. We don't want to give DD issues about food so we let her self regulate. We feel it's our job to provide food and her job to decide when and what to eat. Have you tried keeping a food diary to see what exactly your DS eats in a week? With toddlers their diet looks more balanced when you look at it over several days instead of just one day. It is a good idea to keep offering foods. My DD stopped eating green veggies for about a year, then liked zucchini and broccoli again.

[crunchy_mommy]

A couple thoughts...

If you are getting lots of sweets that you wouldn't usually have, could you store them somewhere where he won't know about them (or give them to coworkers or whatever)?

You could also make some really healthy, yummy bread products... Low-sugar zucchini or pumpkin bread or PB cookies made with whole wheat flour & coconut milk or whatever milk you use... Muffins loaded with fruit... Black bean brownies made with bananas... things like that so he can get more nutrition out of what he is eating. Maybe there are some meat-based bread recipes too (I'm vegan so I'm not sure but I'm guessing you could find something!)

Most of all though, I would just continue to offer whatever you are eating & try to avoid giving him separate meals (snacks could be whatever he wants but IMO meals should be what everyone else is eating). Maybe do away with the post-dinner cookies -- or make it several hours after dinner rather than immediately after -- so he's not holding out for the sweets...

These are all just ideas, I don't really have a picky kid (though he doesn't eat much quantity-wise)... We give him a very very small plate of food at each meal (literally 1 carrot, 1 piece of broccoli, & a teaspoon of rice, all coated in a sauce) and replenish as necessary. Some days he eats mostly rice and other days it's mostly veggies but he almost always has a few bites of each thing. We also mix almost all our meals together, like a stir-fry I guess, and there's almost always a nutritous sauce mixed in too. So he is getting little tastes of everything and I think that helps him develop a taste for things because little peas or bits of cauliflower automatically get stuck onto his peanut noodles...

[Auraji]

My daughter is 18M and has recently become a picky eater. She's pretty tall, I think it was 33.6'' and weights 23.4lb. She before would love eating anything with Spinach, curry rice and all kind of very non-traditional food. Now while she will take bites out of everything she mostly just eats: string cheese, fruits, mashed potatoes, yogurt, pizza and beans. We don't eat meat, but do eat fish and eggs.

I keep trying to offer her a variety of food throughout the day and not putting pressure in what she eats. The other day I served some baby carrots with hummus, she ate the hummus and took a few bites of the carrota.
Another time I made eggs on toast with vegennaise and she took a few bites from the scrambled eggs.
We were sharing a grilled cheese and she just wanted to eat the cheese. Things like these happen all the time, how much she eats also varies a lot.

So I've been pretty relaxed about it, while stressing in my mind. I'm thinking it'll be like everything else, repetition will make it stick. It's also important what she sees us eat, she likes to eat what I'm having and expose her to a lot of variety.

I agree with the healthy breads. I make a zucchini/blueberry bread my daughter and much more pickier 5 year old dss both love. Have you also tried smoothies? Maybe he can "help" make them and then drink it out of fun chunky straws or something?

[IndigoKoi]

Thanks for all your input mamas!!!

Yeah I love making zucchini bread, sweet potato bread etc. I used to make him mini muffins and just freeze them so he could have them for a snack, but it's been a while since I've done that.

I also definitely include him in the cooking process, which I hope will help foster a love for cooking and also maybe he will want to try the things he helps to cook for himself. So far not yet, but he does love to stir and measure ingredients!

As for the hiding/storing special treats, it's kind of not possible. He is super observant, and a natural born problem solver, which is great for a lot of things, but for the purpose of keeping him away from something he is interested in, not so much. But yeah, I guess we'll just have to give them away or something to remove the temptation for him. Cookies were actually never an option for after dinner until last week when we got 2 boxes of chocolate cookies as a gift. I usually offer him some fruit like a banana, apple or orange etc.

Auraji- i'm totally with you on the being relaxed about it while interacting with my son, but in my mind it stresses me out, b/c I worry he is not getting a well balanced diet. I really don't mind that he doesn't eat a lot in quantity, but it worries me that he doesn't get a good variety of foods in at the moment.

I think I will definitely bake some veggie/fruit loaded breads again for him b/c at least that will be a little added something. Thanks for reminding me about those!

In the end, I think it's just growing pains of both of us learning how to deal with him learning and growing in independence but still needing guidance and boundaries. He is very much into being the one to make his own choices about things. Meanwhile, I also think I'm just exhausted. I'm in nursing school full time with class during the week and then 2 12 hour shifts on the weekend, and hubby also works full time and working on his master's degree as well. And now I am probably getting off topic lol.

Thanks again for the suggestions and support!! I really appreciate it.